Pray for me

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I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#1
Hi guys, please pray for me,
I found out I have sleep apnea, I get hypertension in my sleep and my carbon dioxide levels
reach 60%. Im about 388lbs. im debating weather I wanna go for the second sleep test
with the mask. Or If I wanna cancel it and let the carbon dioxide levels reach 100%

If it reaches 100% then the brain stops working, and every thing else shuts down.
Because theres no oxygen. Theres not one person on earth who would miss me
and Jesus is the only one in the Universe that loves me. It's a heavy burden to carry.
Do you take life with nothing to live for or do you make the best of the time you have left
with the crappy life you've been given in the first place?

Please pray for me and that Jesus would guide me.
I don't come on here much anymore.
Theres no one to talk too on here, just like life in reality.
I am fully aware of the reason the doctor considered my situation urgent.
But believe death is better than life, especially since I am born again and would
rather go home than stay on this earth.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#2
There are plenty on this site to converse with but you have to give it a chance. Part of any crappy life is due to the choices made earlier. It's never to late to start moving forward. If sleep apnea has been already diagnosed what is the purpose of the second sleep study? I have said a prayer for God to lift the cloud of depression that seems to be hovering over you. Whatever time you have left live to the fullest. With the grace of God I will do the same.
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#4
"I give you death or life. Choose Life!" Jesus said this to his disciples. Choosing death is giving up on the gift God has given you. I have tried to commit suicide on three occasions. The fourth consideration of such, God came to me and said, "You do that and you go to hell". I'm not easy to change. A full weekend we fought. LIfe won over death. God pursued me relentlessly. Today, I suffer. I want to give up sometimes too, but I've learned to turn to the Word and turn it over to others in need, particularly here in the need of prayer. I know people in Canada who can help. It's a huge country, but God makes a way. Perhaps they're closer than you can imagine.

FAther,
Pursue this lovely man of yours to know you want him to live, not to die. Give him Faith and grace to offer what he has to others. And learn more of you, that he might offer a gift of love and life to those who struggle in ways he does. Teach him that is his gift and lead him to hope. IN your precious name I pray. Amen
 
Oct 19, 2016
635
87
28
#5
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, friend. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His healing presence and fill you with His love, joy, and peace. Remember that you’re precious and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. We all care about you and are here to support you. Stay strong and be blessed. Sending blessings & prayers your way!
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#6
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, friend. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His healing presence and fill you with His love, joy, and peace. Remember that you’re precious and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. We all care about you and are here to support you. Stay strong and be blessed. Sending blessings & prayers your way!
We do care, if I sounded harsh forgive me. (((HUGGS))) -student
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#7
Father God we pray together, let you touch and heal I_am_Canadian. Lord please have your mercy upon I_am_Canadian, and give your heal, peace, joy and you be glorified. Lord we agree and seek your blessing , please bless I_am_Canadian. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
Feb 7, 2017
80
1
0
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#8
Lord I ask that an angel puts the Helmet of salvation on him to protect his thoughts! I come against the spirit of suicide in the name of Jesus!!! You were born for a purpose, you were born to shine!!! God make you and is proud of you! Lord and ask for courage to rise up inside him to face his fears and the mountain ahead of his walk! Depression you gotta go, loneliness you gotta go in Jesus name!

I just want to say, I've been where your at (working on testimony now hopefully be posted soon) and God change my life all around! I had a lot of work to do, that I didn't want to do but it's worth it!!! " no man as ever seen his dreams come true and regretted the sacrifices that it took" Mattie Montgomery
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#9
What up, eh? I have an answer for you but you might not like it. We are here to serve Him. If your boss gave you a company car and told you that it was a loaner until the new one was finished being customized, then you drove your loaner off the cliff so you didn't have to work for him anymore, how do you think he would respond? Your vehicle isn't working right because you are taking it to the wrong mechanic. PM me if you are interested in getting a proper tune up.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,818
8,596
113
#10
Hi guys, please pray for me,
I found out I have sleep apnea, I get hypertension in my sleep and my carbon dioxide levels
reach 60%. Im about 388lbs. im debating weather I wanna go for the second sleep test
with the mask. Or If I wanna cancel it and let the carbon dioxide levels reach 100%

If it reaches 100% then the brain stops working, and every thing else shuts down.
Because theres no oxygen. Theres not one person on earth who would miss me
and Jesus is the only one in the Universe that loves me. It's a heavy burden to carry.
Do you take life with nothing to live for or do you make the best of the time you have left
with the crappy life you've been given in the first place?

Please pray for me and that Jesus would guide me.
I don't come on here much anymore.
Theres no one to talk too on here, just like life in reality.
I am fully aware of the reason the doctor considered my situation urgent.
But believe death is better than life, especially since I am born again and would
rather go home than stay on this earth.
Well, if you love Jesus I can tell you He doesn't want you to just bury your talents and gifts in the earth HE GAVE YOU!

We can ALL find reasons NOT to get up in the morning. STOP listening to the lies of the enemy! Get up every day, thanking the Lord for that day. Get your life and health in order. Volunteer to help the needy. Jesus said they will ALWAYS be available to help.

Oh, and BTW. YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST LOVE YOU!

Holy Father, we ask that You please open the eyes of Your Canadian child. Let him see the incredible value he has, and give him a focused purpose to further Your Kingdom. In Jesus sweet Name I pray.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#11
The second one is to do the sleep test with a mask, for a c pap machine.
Thanks for the prayers. Sleep apnea is basically when your not getting enough oxygen at night when your sleeping.
I get hypertension when Im dreaming.

That is true in most cases, it wasnt my choice to go to a public school, it wasnt my choice for kids to pick on me and tease me, it wasnt my choice for my parents to get divorced and meet other people, it wasn't my choice for my parents to kick me out of the house, it wasnt my choice to get Autism, it wasnt my choice for my parents to hate me and want nothing to do with me. It wasnt my choice to go on social assistance, or get into subsidized housing.

Most of my problems stem from my parents bad parenting, and the wickedness of others. I'm not saying it's every one elses fault. But most of it has contributed to getting me where I am today. It wasn't my choice to struggle with depression half of my life. To the point of trying to kill myself.

I believe if I knew back then what I know today, things would for sure be a lot different.
Truth is, I had no idea, that when my parents were sending me off to school, they were sending me to the front lines of the spiritual war between God and Satan. basically my parents just handed me over to satan and said do what you like with him. I don't know if my parents ever loved me or wanted me. At 32. Im done fighting, im ready to go home.
If Jesus wants me to stay on the battlefield longer, I want him to give me a reason to stay.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#12
thanks, I think thats actually the verse of the month at my church.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#13
You should email me privately,
I've tried to commit suicide too. Started at the age of 13
Before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#15
Thank you, just so you know I am a saved man, But I have no one to hang out with, I have no friends,
I go home every night to an empty house, Im on ODSP so I can't afford the luxuries of going out and having fun,
I can barely survive on what I get. I've been alone almost all my life and Im 32. I was only 8 when I decided to become anti social because it seemed like no one ever listened to me. The road has been a long and hard one,

Its getting too hard to go one, the burden to too heavy to bear.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#16
Hey, I don't think comparing the wounds of broken and lonely heart to driving a car off the cliff is good anallagy
I am aware we are here to serve him, But I think it's more of God answering the prayer of giving me the option to stay or go home. If your a soldier on a battlefield for 25 years, and the commander says you can stay and fight, or you can go home,
what would you do?
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,169
696
113
#17
I know what I am worth. I just sent a lengthy letter to CMHA for their spiritual group on the value of life.
I can sing, dance, tell jokes, do impersonations. I can cook, clean, do laundry, I counsel, I can operate heavy equipment,
I can do just about everything except find a date for friday night and some one who will pay me to work lol.

But when you spend the better part of 25 years alone, and fighting a spiritual battle against satan,
It starts when your 5, it get to take a toll on you. I have been going home to an empty house for almost half my life after 2 or 3 years of homeless shelters. It's getting to be too much. It's hard going through life realizing God has made some one special for every person on earth except me.

I've been beaten, I've been shot at twice, I have been threatened, abused, homeless, falsely accused,
The war for me started in school when I was about 5, Im 32 now, and I've had about all I can take.
infact, I've learned that the more satan tries to destroy you, the more valuable you are to Jesus
Infact when Satan tries to destroy someone and it's worth every waking moment of his time then you gotta be extreamly valuable to Jesus.

especaily when you stay up all night listening to friends problems, you councel people, you spend 10 years doing volunteer work and no one wants to pay you, you have a talent for the hardest instrument on earth, (bagpipes) you personally witness women being abused and have to personally get involved to remove them from being abused.
You spend 10 years in the closest place to hell on earth.

and yet no one wants anything to do with you, you walk the earth alone with no one except Jesus.
It's hell when your all alone, no one to talk too and the burdens get so bloody heavy you don't know what to do.
it hurts, when your heart aches and theres no one to talk too, no one to hug you and reassure you it's going to be ok.

Truth is, Im really struggling with this, Why should I stay, when I have the choice to go home?
Im going to wait on God for the answer, but if theres no reason to stay, Im going home.
I don't plan on making my descision till the last week of april weather I go for the test or not.

Thank you, I do really appreciate all the prayers and support.
 
M

myredemption

Guest
#18
Prayers offered - I'm very sorry for what you've been through.

As someone who's suffered a lot of health issues over the last few years, I've wondered similar things to you. If I had the right means, there were times I would've probably ended things, out of desperation.

But my view is that I'm not God, and there is a huge separation in our roles. If God wants me to go and meet Him, He'll take me there. If not, there must be a purpose to me still being here. It's hard but I have to trust God that what's right is being done.

No idea if that's of any use or not, but I wanted to give my support.
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#19
Thank you, just so you know I am a saved man, But I have no one to hang out with, I have no friends,
I go home every night to an empty house, Im on ODSP so I can't afford the luxuries of going out and having fun,
I can barely survive on what I get. I've been alone almost all my life and Im 32. I was only 8 when I decided to become anti social because it seemed like no one ever listened to me. The road has been a long and hard one,

Its getting too hard to go one, the burden to too heavy to bear.
I hear that. I was about that age when I decided to be 'depressed' until I grow up. Still battl
ing that dear gift I gave myself. But God is sooooo Good. He will make a way. We're here to help. Autism is something I don't know a lot about. Choices are. Teasing I understand and loathing and hating. I know it all only too well. I've fought a painfully hard battle and realized the greatest most devestating decision I made, was to choose not to allow God to lead in my life. I pray you find him in your heart and forgive the teasers and the parents and the social system. They probably aren't as mean as they once were and if they are, they need Jesus more than you do so prayer is the best way to reach them. Hang on. God makes you stronger in your weakness. If you give Him your heart. Love who you are. You have gifts. You can teach us. You're beautiful and you're not alone. -student
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#20
I know what I am worth. I just sent a lengthy letter to CMHA for their spiritual group on the value of life.
I can sing, dance, tell jokes, do impersonations. I can cook, clean, do laundry, I counsel, I can operate heavy equipment,
I can do just about everything except find a date for friday night and some one who will pay me to work lol.

But when you spend the better part of 25 years alone, and fighting a spiritual battle against satan,
It starts when your 5, it get to take a toll on you. I have been going home to an empty house for almost half my life after 2 or 3 years of homeless shelters. It's getting to be too much. It's hard going through life realizing God has made some one special for every person on earth except me.

I've been beaten, I've been shot at twice, I have been threatened, abused, homeless, falsely accused,
The war for me started in school when I was about 5, Im 32 now, and I've had about all I can take.
infact, I've learned that the more satan tries to destroy you, the more valuable you are to Jesus
Infact when Satan tries to destroy someone and it's worth every waking moment of his time then you gotta be extreamly valuable to Jesus.

especaily when you stay up all night listening to friends problems, you councel people, you spend 10 years doing volunteer work and no one wants to pay you, you have a talent for the hardest instrument on earth, (bagpipes) you personally witness women being abused and have to personally get involved to remove them from being abused.
You spend 10 years in the closest place to hell on earth.

and yet no one wants anything to do with you, you walk the earth alone with no one except Jesus.
It's hell when your all alone, no one to talk too and the burdens get so bloody heavy you don't know what to do.
it hurts, when your heart aches and theres no one to talk too, no one to hug you and reassure you it's going to be ok.

Truth is, Im really struggling with this, Why should I stay, when I have the choice to go home?
Im going to wait on God for the answer, but if theres no reason to stay, Im going home.
I don't plan on making my descision till the last week of april weather I go for the test or not.

Thank you, I do really appreciate all the prayers and support.
I'd love to hear you laugh. I'd love to laugh at your jokes. I"d love to hear you sing. Let Easter - Resurrection Day hold the greatest meaning to you this year. Jesus died that we might live. He does value you more. Satan is afraid of you. All you need is to speak aloud the name of Jesus and Satan has to leave. "At the name of Jesus, all will bow." I"ve cast out many demons. They have to leave. Scream it, sing it. Shout it. But above all keep using it. And not in vain. It is the most powerful word in the world. "Jesus loves you, this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong. They are weak but He is strong." Sing it out loud, Canada. It's for you.