I'm so scared of real life.

Rods really trying to distract himself. I understand him.

This is a very hard time for you both.
Different people come to terms with knowing their end is in sight. Emotions often
fly all over the place, frustration, sadness, happiness, blame, regret.

What I find is contemplating the cross, especially now at easter and the love this
expresses, the gift of life and unbelievable privilege to live at this point in history.
We have so much and can do so much without worries about food or safety or daily
living.

It sounds like you need a care worker to be involved with you as a support in the
future. This is something you together with Rod can work on. It will help him to
know someone else is going to help you when he is gone. This is always the hardest
part accepting the future with its blessing and losses.

In Christ we know this is only temporary, till we meet our Lord when He returns.
It might also help you to get more engaged in church life and reaching out to others.
because you will discover many have gone through similar stages of struggles, grief,
mourning, sadness, resolution and peace.

Lord may you bring wisdom and guidance to happyface and Rod as they face the future
together and learn how to make adjustments for the challenges this entails, in Jesus's
Name, Amen

He's making a fool out of me, and looks so consumed with anger yet he's nice to everyone else. He told me to get lost

My husband has cancer I know I will lose him. none understands how scared I am, I sit here and have so much to take in. My Rod has been my carer for years, I am so lost in the world. It easy for others to just say don't be afraid. I suffer with mental illness and ive always been prompted by Rod to do things. like bill paying etc. I wish I could be a better person, I have a slow mind because of my feet issues. I want to be strong but I'm scared. I have my name down to be near my parents but I'm scared I'll be alone. If I could die with Rod I would.Life is so cruel.

My husband has cancer I know I will lose him. none understands how scared I am, I sit here and have so much to take in. My Rod has been my carer for years, I am so lost in the world. It easy for others to just say don't be afraid. I suffer with mental illness and ive always been prompted by Rod to do things. like bill paying etc. I wish I could be a better person, I have a slow mind because of my feet issues. I want to be strong but I'm scared. I have my name down to be near my parents but I'm scared I'll be alone. If I could die with Rod I would.Life is so cruel.

I know I'm late in replying to this,
But,

You dont know you will lose him. Only God knows whether or not you will lose him. And there are people who understand how you feel.
Heck last year I literally went in the music room before school and went to my music teacher and just started crying telling her I wish I could be strong and take the pain away and escape life and why does all this and happen ect. Because my friend had cancer and was in the hospital on life support and her brother said she wanted to talk to me and I was the only way she would choose to stay alive.

People do know how you feel. How it feels to be crushed by the weight of seeing someone you love so much go through that, of the pain you already feel from losing them even though they are still there. It hurts in places you didn't even know it could.

But, you are never alone. I promise. God will provide. He will.

Natania, he has stage 4 lung cancer which has metasticized throughout his body. This is the final days for him. But happily, he is going to be with Jesus soon. In an eternal, painfree body, and in a much better place than he is now.. Rod knows he's dying, and he's coping with it the only way he knows how. And Happy is coping in her own way. I'm glad to see that so many here are supporting them, because Happy will need us more than ever, once Rod is gone.

Yeah
All I'm saying is it is never 100% be realistic in your expectations but it is never 100%

Either way, God is good.

"Be still and know that I am God." I can't say anything beyond that and what others have already shared. Yes, you and Rod are deeply loved by many people in many lands; we weep with you, we collectively hug both you and Rod, and yes, we smile with you (when Depleted comes up with something encouraging and witty). And we all look forward to seeing how Jesus
Christ will be glorified through this terrible trial. And He will be glorified- that's how He rolls. Stay strong dear... D

Thanks for your heart, I'm realising tonight that Rods eyes show no light, he can look so sad and in despair, the light may come on if he sees his family, but I see a different picture. I can't make the light in his eyes, only God can.

Thank you so much. It been abit better day today, Rod actually ate a burger in a bun, praise God, he's tearful because we have had phone calls from the housing about our circumstances of moving near Parents.But Im so much stronger and understand him. I like to think i'm helping someone, thats the way I am anyway, I'm hoping that we get a decent bungalow to live, Rods still with us Folks so we must not talk about him in any other way. Uplifting words mean the world to me. Yes I hope you all get an idea of my personality, thank you everyone yes even online like this. xxx

You were always meant to be there to encourage him. He is your Nineveh, and you were smart enough to get there willingly. (By ship, rather than fish stomach.) Remember that Jonah did good for Nineveh. You do good for Rod. Even when he's not happy with you, God is.

And I do hope you get that bungalow quickly, and he is willing to come too. A peaceful place for both of you. (Please tell me your parents are peaceful people. I'd hate to think Rod lands next to annoying in-laws after all this. lol)