Praying for my husbands temper
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No the enemy knows our weakest areas, the windups Ive understood can be how we react to them, if we feed it then its worked. People in this wold have Alot of problems, & if they have been through bad times it passes over to others.
I know, its hard to turn round to someone that upsets us to reflect love and kindness in difficult times & can add to our own problems.
God Bless you happyface, I pray that peace and the Holy spirit be with you and comfort you.
Amen
I know, its hard to turn round to someone that upsets us to reflect love and kindness in difficult times & can add to our own problems.
God Bless you happyface, I pray that peace and the Holy spirit be with you and comfort you.
Amen
It seems anger and shouting is an big issue for Rod. I got a text saying I had a dentist appointment tomorrow, he went mad, because I said I didn't know about it. Usually they give out a detailed pic of mouth and what fillings have to be done. He shouted in the car so loud and embarrassing me, I feel that I'm not strong enough for this life. He's saying things like get you act together, I'm thick, and all sorts. It's him that has a massive issue. Anyone dealing with someone like this can make you feel inadequate. He's always had a temper. But here I am being nice again. In some ways he's better of in heaven. Two sides to Rod. He's peeing all the time, it's such a nightmare. He's just in a state of ill health. I'm not to well today.
Happy, he's dying. He's almost at the end of this life. He's angry and looking for someone or something to take it out on.. He's probably wondering "why me" and trying to learn how to cope with the cancer that is stealing his health, personality and temper away from him. I've had cancer, several people here have it or have had it, so we all know the fear Rod is going through.. Cancer is a scary thing and there is no handbook to tell us how we're supposed to react to it.
Of course Rod will be better off in heaven.
We all will be. And he's almost there, so as hard as it is, you just have to stick this out and be there for him..
Of course Rod will be better off in heaven.
We all will be. And he's almost there, so as hard as it is, you just have to stick this out and be there for him..
Happy, he's dying. He's almost at the end of this life. He's angry and looking for someone or something to take it out on.. He's probably wondering "why me" and trying to learn how to cope with the cancer that is stealing his health, personality and temper away from him. I've had cancer, several people here have it or have had it, so we all know the fear Rod is going through.. Cancer is a scary thing and there is no handbook to tell us how we're supposed to react to it.
Of course Rod will be better off in heaven. We all will be. And he's almost there, so as hard as it is, you just have to stick this out and be there for him..
Of course Rod will be better off in heaven.
We all will be. And he's almost there, so as hard as it is, you just have to stick this out and be there for him..
D
John's 70th birthday was last January. The birthday before that he was in ICU with an infection, so I couldn't even give him birthday presents. Which meant (me being me and all lol), I really wanted to give him an exceptional present last January. One of those De Sol Circuses was in town, and he said he wanted to go. BUT, at the last minute, he checked how much the tickets would cost, (and we could not walk all the way up to the cheap seats, so they were expensive), and he wouldn't let me buy them.
I begged him to let me take him on an outing -- something just for fun. I'm pretty sure you and Rod used to do that about as often as John and I do. (Not very often at all, although that changed for you recently.) Finally, in April we went to a park during the Cherry-Blossom Festival, (although the cherries weren't blossoming that week, but the weeping willows were. lol) It didn't cost anything, so it didn't feel like much of a birthday present. (It was a wonderful day though.)
Yesterday, I looked at a calendar and do what I often do -- look to see what day of the week is his birthday this year. That reminded me, I never did buy him something for his birthday again. But he finally bought himself (ours, but mostly his) a refurbished laptop so he could have something to do, while waiting around for doctor appointments.
So, I said, "Aha! I finally gave you something for your birthday! That laptop!"
He said, "Are you kidding me? You already gave me a great birthday present."
He had to remind me of that walk in the park. And he told me it was one of the highlights of his life.
Last night, we watched a movie we haven't seen in decades -- The Blues Brothers. He laughed hard! I love hearing him laugh like no one is watching. He doesn't do it as much as he used to, so I had a great night simply because he laughed at a very silly movie.
This morning is like every other morning. He sleeps 12 hours a day now, plus a nap. And I get up in the morning and spend the morning trying not to worry if he will even wake up today. In prayer this morning, I ended up thanking God for that walk in the park last month, the laptop, (John was a computer tech so trying to add programs to a new computer both frustrates him to no end, and deep down he loves it when it finally works right, so a new laptop is a toy to him lol), and the movie last night.
And God gave me a dink. (Dink. The sound of a light switch turning on. lol) Yesterday started out with great frustration to John, because the laptop wouldn't finish updating after 6 hours of updating, so he woke up still frustrated by that. Add to that, it made him put in a password to log on, when he hates passwords to log onto. AND, when he tried logging on, it wouldn't accept the password. It started as a very bad day for him. But it ended as a very good day of memories and a silly movie. I got John's downs and ups all in one day, but I got John, and the ups ended the day. I thought, "I could die happy now, God." And God dinked me back with "If John does not wake up today, he died happy."
We get both the bad sides and the good sides of our husbands. Enjoy the good moments, because neither one of us are guaranteed there will be a next moment. Rod will do 20+ things today that will annoy you, at best. (Scare you, at worse.) Look for the other ones. Those moments you enjoy. Even walking the dog could be such a moment. Go with it. When our husbands do die, the moment before may or may not be happy. The moment after will thrill them to the bone! (Well, it would, if they still had their bones then. lol) Be happy with what you have at those precious few moments you can be, and let those things fill your mind. They're the good'ns.
I begged him to let me take him on an outing -- something just for fun. I'm pretty sure you and Rod used to do that about as often as John and I do. (Not very often at all, although that changed for you recently.) Finally, in April we went to a park during the Cherry-Blossom Festival, (although the cherries weren't blossoming that week, but the weeping willows were. lol) It didn't cost anything, so it didn't feel like much of a birthday present. (It was a wonderful day though.)
Yesterday, I looked at a calendar and do what I often do -- look to see what day of the week is his birthday this year. That reminded me, I never did buy him something for his birthday again. But he finally bought himself (ours, but mostly his) a refurbished laptop so he could have something to do, while waiting around for doctor appointments.
So, I said, "Aha! I finally gave you something for your birthday! That laptop!"
He said, "Are you kidding me? You already gave me a great birthday present."
He had to remind me of that walk in the park. And he told me it was one of the highlights of his life.
Last night, we watched a movie we haven't seen in decades -- The Blues Brothers. He laughed hard! I love hearing him laugh like no one is watching. He doesn't do it as much as he used to, so I had a great night simply because he laughed at a very silly movie.
This morning is like every other morning. He sleeps 12 hours a day now, plus a nap. And I get up in the morning and spend the morning trying not to worry if he will even wake up today. In prayer this morning, I ended up thanking God for that walk in the park last month, the laptop, (John was a computer tech so trying to add programs to a new computer both frustrates him to no end, and deep down he loves it when it finally works right, so a new laptop is a toy to him lol), and the movie last night.
And God gave me a dink. (Dink. The sound of a light switch turning on. lol) Yesterday started out with great frustration to John, because the laptop wouldn't finish updating after 6 hours of updating, so he woke up still frustrated by that. Add to that, it made him put in a password to log on, when he hates passwords to log onto. AND, when he tried logging on, it wouldn't accept the password. It started as a very bad day for him. But it ended as a very good day of memories and a silly movie. I got John's downs and ups all in one day, but I got John, and the ups ended the day. I thought, "I could die happy now, God." And God dinked me back with "If John does not wake up today, he died happy."
We get both the bad sides and the good sides of our husbands. Enjoy the good moments, because neither one of us are guaranteed there will be a next moment. Rod will do 20+ things today that will annoy you, at best. (Scare you, at worse.) Look for the other ones. Those moments you enjoy. Even walking the dog could be such a moment. Go with it. When our husbands do die, the moment before may or may not be happy. The moment after will thrill them to the bone! (Well, it would, if they still had their bones then. lol) Be happy with what you have at those precious few moments you can be, and let those things fill your mind. They're the good'ns.
D
Weird thing happened last year. We know our neighbors on either side of us and the neighbor across the street, but we live in a city, so there ware 50 other neighbors on this one street. (Both sides of the street, but just this one street, not two blocks.)
I never really told anyone anything about John when he was gone -- too busy to pay much attention to people around me. BUT, I was able to get the storm door in myself the November he went into the hospital, but couldn't replace it with the screen door when spring hit. (Our windows don't open, so that's the only way to get a breeze in our house.) I was proud I got the storm window in, but frustrated I couldn't get the screen in. My neighbor is in his 80's, but my other two neighbors were'n home, so I asked him. And he asked his grandson.
Then shortly after that, the neighbor across the street asked about John, so I told. Apparently, news spreads quickly around here. Suddenly strangers are asking me if I need help bringing in my groceries. And the strangers introduce themselves as neighbors. I didn't really need help with the groceries, but I've come to know quite a few other neighbors in the last half year. People just showed up (when it seemed the street was deserted a second before that lol) to help John up the curb, while I was pulling out his wheelchair, and then racing to me to get the chair out, (but too late. Already got it. lol)
Let your neighbors know a bit of what's going on. I suspect you'll find out they're nicer than you think, once they realize you two could use help. (Not always. Still some douche bag thinks my sidewalk is the place to dump their big trash items.) But we were popular in those months when we needed the most help. And it's just settling back into not-quite-as-popular now, when we don't need the help. lol
I never really told anyone anything about John when he was gone -- too busy to pay much attention to people around me. BUT, I was able to get the storm door in myself the November he went into the hospital, but couldn't replace it with the screen door when spring hit. (Our windows don't open, so that's the only way to get a breeze in our house.) I was proud I got the storm window in, but frustrated I couldn't get the screen in. My neighbor is in his 80's, but my other two neighbors were'n home, so I asked him. And he asked his grandson.
Then shortly after that, the neighbor across the street asked about John, so I told. Apparently, news spreads quickly around here. Suddenly strangers are asking me if I need help bringing in my groceries. And the strangers introduce themselves as neighbors. I didn't really need help with the groceries, but I've come to know quite a few other neighbors in the last half year. People just showed up (when it seemed the street was deserted a second before that lol) to help John up the curb, while I was pulling out his wheelchair, and then racing to me to get the chair out, (but too late. Already got it. lol)
Let your neighbors know a bit of what's going on. I suspect you'll find out they're nicer than you think, once they realize you two could use help. (Not always. Still some douche bag thinks my sidewalk is the place to dump their big trash items.
) But we were popular in those months when we needed the most help. And it's just settling back into not-quite-as-popular now, when we don't need the help. lol