J
I believe so much in the power of prayer and figured since I am struggling in my life right now, the more who pray for me, the better I will be.
A week ago I lost the love of my life due to my insecurities and fears along with a past full of trauma and feelings of not being worthy. I have struggled with anxiety since the age of 8 and have also been diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I am also certain that I suffer from PTSD as well. My boyfriend loved me unconditionally and was a feeling I have never felt on earth and it scared me. I pushed him away by rejecting his love, reissuance and faith in me. If it was words, or actions I was indeed pushing him away. Simply because I felt I was not good enough and he would leave me one day. In essence I created the environment for the things I feared the most and nourished it like a garden.
I am also slow to process things and after I listened to his voicemail( that's how he ended things) , I felt in my heart and soul how much he did love me and finally accepted it. I know then that I trusted him 100% but my anxiety kept telling me not to. I know he meant all the things he said to me up until that message and have hope that we can open the lines of communication again.
I have been praying to God every day , multiple times that we both heal from our pasts and that we are able to see what God has created for us. Since the beginning I felt that God has a plan for us to be together and it may not be right now, but I keep praying that it will be. He is my soulmate and I am not giving up. I pray that when we do speak, we have softened our hearts and opened our minds to Gods true wisdom and plan. Please pray for me, for him and also our relationship. I hope its not too late and that the love we have for one and other will only be stronger after this.
Thank you all who are reading and praying. I hope you have a blessed day/ night.
A week ago I lost the love of my life due to my insecurities and fears along with a past full of trauma and feelings of not being worthy. I have struggled with anxiety since the age of 8 and have also been diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I am also certain that I suffer from PTSD as well. My boyfriend loved me unconditionally and was a feeling I have never felt on earth and it scared me. I pushed him away by rejecting his love, reissuance and faith in me. If it was words, or actions I was indeed pushing him away. Simply because I felt I was not good enough and he would leave me one day. In essence I created the environment for the things I feared the most and nourished it like a garden.
I am also slow to process things and after I listened to his voicemail( that's how he ended things) , I felt in my heart and soul how much he did love me and finally accepted it. I know then that I trusted him 100% but my anxiety kept telling me not to. I know he meant all the things he said to me up until that message and have hope that we can open the lines of communication again.
I have been praying to God every day , multiple times that we both heal from our pasts and that we are able to see what God has created for us. Since the beginning I felt that God has a plan for us to be together and it may not be right now, but I keep praying that it will be. He is my soulmate and I am not giving up. I pray that when we do speak, we have softened our hearts and opened our minds to Gods true wisdom and plan. Please pray for me, for him and also our relationship. I hope its not too late and that the love we have for one and other will only be stronger after this.
Thank you all who are reading and praying. I hope you have a blessed day/ night.