Anxious about what if's

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S

social_butterfly

Guest
#1
#1
Hello all!

Going through some rough times even though happy times are ahead. I'm seekin prayer to calm my anxiety and advice on my situations.

Im getting married next month (after 4 years he finally put a ring on it! Yay!) , along with the stress of planning the wedding, any little personal problem feels heightened because of the wedding stress.

My significant other is a big introvert. Every now & then he does like going out for concerts, hikes etc. He only has 1 friend, who happens to be our roommate (that's a whole 'nother issue for a different thread). He's a nurse so he works odd hours, he's also one of the youngest in his work place. We are both 25. He's really picky when it comes to friends, is very shy and has a bit of social anxiety so it's really hard for him to make friends.

He met a 40 ish year old coworker that he started connecting with & really got along with well. She's married (her second marriage, she's been with this guy for 10 years) and has 3 kids, her oldest kid is 22. It started with a bunch of co workers going out after work for drinks, but then she invited co workers To her house for dinner. Her husband likes cooking and she likes hosting. Their friendship seems to grow & now she's wanting to go hiking & floating down the river. No mention of other people joining, but he's so naive about everything, I told him he could only go if I went.

I just have have an odd feeling about her intentions and why the heck she's seeking his friendship...? Help!!!
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#2
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#2
I have read and heard that 90 percent of the things we worry about never happen... I think maybe just pay attention to your gut instincts maybe be a little questionable but don't go over board. See what happens in a few months from now it very well could be just innocent.. why can't you go as well? Like as his date? Just try not to think much into it. No sense on worrying right yet.
 
Rosemaryx

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
#3
May 3, 2017
3,713
4,079
113
62
#3
social_butterfly said:
Hello all!

Going through some rough times even though happy times are ahead. I'm seekin prayer to calm my anxiety and advice on my situations.

Im getting married next month (after 4 years he finally put a ring on it! Yay!) , along with the stress of planning the wedding, any little personal problem feels heightened because of the wedding stress.

My significant other is a big introvert. Every now & then he does like going out for concerts, hikes etc. He only has 1 friend, who happens to be our roommate (that's a whole 'nother issue for a different thread). He's a nurse so he works odd hours, he's also one of the youngest in his work place. We are both 25. He's really picky when it comes to friends, is very shy and has a bit of social anxiety so it's really hard for him to make friends.

He met a 40 ish year old coworker that he started connecting with & really got along with well. She's married (her second marriage, she's been with this guy for 10 years) and has 3 kids, her oldest kid is 22. It started with a bunch of co workers going out after work for drinks, but then she invited co workers To her house for dinner. Her husband likes cooking and she likes hosting. Their friendship seems to grow & now she's wanting to go hiking & floating down the river. No mention of other people joining, but he's so naive about everything, I told him he could only go if I went.

I just have have an odd feeling about her intentions and why the heck she's seeking his friendship...? Help!!!
Click to expand...
Hi butterfly...I would be concerned also...The devil is crouching at all our doors, and temptation is a trap that your partner could easily fall into , i am sure she can go with other people, if your partner is quiet then he may find it hard to say no should she have other intentions, me personally, i would say no way, but that`s just my opinion, we have to be careful of other peoples motives, she may have fantasy in her mind and believe she could have him, you have every right to be cautious, God gaves us these feelings for a reason, is it a warning...xox...
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
Maybe she's bored with her life, and wants to spice up YOUR hubby's life... I'd be concerned too.. :/
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#5
social_butterfly said:
Hello all!

Going through some rough times even though happy times are ahead. I'm seekin prayer to calm my anxiety and advice on my situations.

Im getting married next month (after 4 years he finally put a ring on it! Yay!) , along with the stress of planning the wedding, any little personal problem feels heightened because of the wedding stress.

My significant other is a big introvert. Every now & then he does like going out for concerts, hikes etc. He only has 1 friend, who happens to be our roommate (that's a whole 'nother issue for a different thread). He's a nurse so he works odd hours, he's also one of the youngest in his work place. We are both 25. He's really picky when it comes to friends, is very shy and has a bit of social anxiety so it's really hard for him to make friends.

He met a 40 ish year old coworker that he started connecting with & really got along with well. She's married (her second marriage, she's been with this guy for 10 years) and has 3 kids, her oldest kid is 22. It started with a bunch of co workers going out after work for drinks, but then she invited co workers To her house for dinner. Her husband likes cooking and she likes hosting. Their friendship seems to grow & now she's wanting to go hiking & floating down the river. No mention of other people joining, but he's so naive about everything, I told him he could only go if I went.

I just have have an odd feeling about her intentions and why the heck she's seeking his friendship...? Help!!!
Click to expand...
I just read your post about this roomie that's the best friend of your fiancée and now there is this other thing going on too. Seems to me he needs to decide what he really wants. There is no way that I would allow him to go rafting down this lazy river with her and he shouldn't even consider it in the first place as it is highly inappropriate for a man who is about to get married. Tell him that you have changed your mind but the only one he's going hiking and rafting with is you.
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#6
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#6
you might consider postponing your 'wedding-date', and see how this soap opera un-folds...
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#7
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
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#7
I agree. Since you have an odd feeling about her intentions, I'd listen to it.. We don't get those gut feelings over nothing..


oldethennew said:
you might consider postponing your 'wedding-date', and see how this soap opera un-folds...
Click to expand...
 
S

social_butterfly

Guest
#8
#8
I think part of the reason he wants to try and socialize is because sometimes the roomie is a bit of a jerk and won't invite him to places.

Another thing he he throws in my face (I want to not make my point one side and show his side too) I love going out. I am a huge extrovert, I definitely love hikes, young adult groups my church offers, work team events, happy hours etc. my work pays for employees to go to New Jersey twice a year for corporate training. I'm in sales and most sales people are VERY social, outgoing and friendly. Anytime I've gone I always go out with co workers to bars and drink a good amount. We each have our hotel rooms and I would never get so intoxicated I lose control. But my fiancé always brings up those situations and points out how non jealous he was about me drinking with co workers. There were male AND females where I was. And I always called him before, during and after. I want to be respectful of our relationship so I always made sure it was the ok.

those were the only two times (the jersey trip) the past year I have gone out bar hopping. I do not do it because again I don't want to be disrespectful.

is he being double standard? Does he have a point?
 
Rosemaryx

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
#9
May 3, 2017
3,713
4,079
113
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#9
social_butterfly said:
I think part of the reason he wants to try and socialize is because sometimes the roomie is a bit of a jerk and won't invite him to places.

Another thing he he throws in my face (I want to not make my point one side and show his side too) I love going out. I am a huge extrovert, I definitely love hikes, young adult groups my church offers, work team events, happy hours etc. my work pays for employees to go to New Jersey twice a year for corporate training. I'm in sales and most sales people are VERY social, outgoing and friendly. Anytime I've gone I always go out with co workers to bars and drink a good amount. We each have our hotel rooms and I would never get so intoxicated I lose control. But my fiancé always brings up those situations and points out how non jealous he was about me drinking with co workers. There were male AND females where I was. And I always called him before, during and after. I want to be respectful of our relationship so I always made sure it was the ok.

those were the only two times (the jersey trip) the past year I have gone out bar hopping. I do not do it because again I don't want to be disrespectful.

is he being double standard? Does he have a point?
Click to expand...
You can`t walk with God and hold the devils hand...This is what you are doing if you are a born again child of God...You are playing in the world, the devils play ground, nothing will go right in your life untill you deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow JESUS, get out from wordly things, you can not change your boy friend, i would not even try, have you give yourself to Jesus, if so are you reading Gods word, you know His word teaches us how to live, how to behave, you need that now, get right with God and give Him your life, then see the world fall off you as He turns you in to the image of His beautiful Son, our Savior...xox...
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#10
#10
Father God please intervene in the lives of,social butterfly,and her possible future husband,show them that "going out" to places is not as "important"'as if they "care" for each other,because room mates and friends can be obstacles mainly when there is "no love" in a relationship,if they are sincere about marriage then they shall turn to you God to guide them through times of "what if's",in Jesus's holy name I humbly pray,AMEN.
 
levi85

levi85

Senior Member
#11
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#11
Father God, please bless social_butterfly with your peace, knowledge and wisdom, and remove all anxiety and confuion. Lord bless social_butterfly and her going to be husband, keep them together, and bless with your understanding, love and joy, and let this couple glorify you. Lord keep her fiance, away, from this 40 yr old woman, and let them be friends, but no relationship develop between, which will hurt three of them, and the power of darkness will take control of them. Lord keep three of them, with a good heart , mind, and bless their lives. Lord bless social-butterfly, in her new life, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#13
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#13
puts head in palm of other hand and weeps for this fallen-deceived-world...
 
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