Need prayer & advice

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student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#1
I love God. I believe forgiveness to be a very important element for those of us on the path to righteousness, as well as anyone else, for that matter. I have issues. With family members. They double talk and lie to me and my children, about me and my children...all the time.

I'm really tired of it...long time tired. I did not stand up for it long ago and it got so out of control. I could blame myself, but I was manipulated as the 'youngest' for decades, harboring a mental illness and alone. I also adhered to, "Turn the other cheek".

Do I 'go to my brother and reconcile"? Or "Dust my feet"? They won't listen and when I have asked them anything concerning these issues they simply deny or delegate it as a misunderstanding.

It's trash...truthfully trash. I have a need to forgive them. A desire not to see them...or associate with them.

Images of backlash...don't make me feel good. I'm sure God wants me to reconcile, but I"m only invited when the clan is at full force, like the holidays. I've gone many years to these things to watch them get drunk. Not my cup... They all propose to be Christian's...more denominations in our family than I can share.

Help?
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#2
Shall I post this in testimonies? My friend sent me a preacher's note a day ago...I just listened to it after posting this. You can imagine the topic...Seek peace and PURSUE it. Forgive and continue to forgive daily. Peace is powerful. The only way to peace is to change yourself and not continue to try to change others. ...there's two things that come to mind of my own... "If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it." The other, "Divide and conquer". Perhaps one sibling at a time would work better...I still need those prayers. God bless and love ya all -student
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,713
113
#3
Godgrantme.gif
Serenity Prayer
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#4
...and patience to work through it all.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#5
Father God, please heal student, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Let you bless with your love and forgiveness, we agree and pray for your guidance and blessings upon student. Lord please bless. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#6
I love God. I believe forgiveness to be a very important element for those of us on the path to righteousness, as well as anyone else, for that matter. I have issues. With family members. They double talk and lie to me and my children, about me and my children...all the time.

I'm really tired of it...long time tired. I did not stand up for it long ago and it got so out of control. I could blame myself, but I was manipulated as the 'youngest' for decades, harboring a mental illness and alone. I also adhered to, "Turn the other cheek".

Do I 'go to my brother and reconcile"? Or "Dust my feet"? They won't listen and when I have asked them anything concerning these issues they simply deny or delegate it as a misunderstanding.

It's trash...truthfully trash. I have a need to forgive them. A desire not to see them...or associate with them.

Images of backlash...don't make me feel good. I'm sure God wants me to reconcile, but I"m only invited when the clan is at full force, like the holidays. I've gone many years to these things to watch them get drunk. Not my cup... They all propose to be Christian's...more denominations in our family than I can share.

Help?
Have you ever done a study on forgiveness? Can you remember that verse where it says you have to trust the person? Do you? No? Right! Not there.

Forgive is forgive. It'a no longer holding negative feelings toward that person. It's intentionally not holding to the grudge. The anger. The long boil. It's not necessary to trust or even spend time with the person. I've had to forgive my rapists (often.) No way they're invited over for dinner.

And, you may have to do it again and again until the Lord give you the strength to really make it stick.
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#7
Right. No need to go to the candy store if you're only going to get punched again. I just dont want these bityer thoughtsi
 
Jan 25, 2017
37
3
8
#8
Hi student, I'm sorry. According to an article about forgiveness, “while God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.” I would like to encourage you to forgive and let go of the bitterness. I know this is easy to say, but based on my experience, forgiveness releases pain and sets me free from focusing on the other person.
I pray for comfort as you go through this and you will be able to forgive as you trust God that He is working on your behalf. Thank you for sharing.
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
63
#9
Hi student, I'm sorry. According to an article about forgiveness, “while God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.” I would like to encourage you to forgive and let go of the bitterness. I know this is easy to say, but based on my experience, forgiveness releases pain and sets me free from focusing on the other person.
I pray for comfort as you go through this and you will be able to forgive as you trust God that He is working on your behalf. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks. It's getting easier to ignore family get-togethers and the bitterness is lightening at least some. Or at least for today...in any case it's progress. Again, thanks for the words of wisdom...and God bless! -student
 

jenniferand2

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#12
I love God. I believe forgiveness to be a very important element for those of us on the path to righteousness, as well as anyone else, for that matter. I have issues. With family members. They double talk and lie to me and my children, about me and my children...all the time.

I'm really tired of it...long time tired. I did not stand up for it long ago and it got so out of control. I could blame myself, but I was manipulated as the 'youngest' for decades, harboring a mental illness and alone. I also adhered to, "Turn the other cheek".

Do I 'go to my brother and reconcile"? Or "Dust my feet"? They won't listen and when I have asked them anything concerning these issues they simply deny or delegate it as a misunderstanding.

It's trash...truthfully trash. I have a need to forgive them. A desire not to see them...or associate with them.

Images of backlash...don't make me feel good. I'm sure God wants me to reconcile, but I"m only invited when the clan is at full force, like the holidays. I've gone many years to these things to watch them get drunk. Not my cup... They all propose to be Christian's...more denominations in our family than I can share.

Help?
forgiving them is going to release you from some of the pain and obligation of dealing with the hurt it has left you feeling. Sometimes we just have to cut poison out of our lives to be able to live a peaceful life.. MInd you forgiving is not forgetting so you will always remember the pain on and off but try not to let it ruin your day week month etc.. We can not change other people only our own dialect can be changed.
I say that for right now maybe write them all a letter speaking your mind and if they can not respect you then tell them you will no longer hang around unless it is a special holiday or something. If they can not respect your requests then they are not worth you wasting time on. Always give them a chance to change their ways though and if you continue to see no change then just keeping only going around as little as possible. I have had to stop being around half of my family because they never have a good thing to say about me or even care to see how I am doing etc they only seem to care about a few selected people in the family and ignore who ever they choose. I am okay with it because I do not want the drama going on as I have enough stress in my own life to have to deal with their crap.