In need of prayer for my marriage

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bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#1
Hello, new here. I've been going through a very rough couple of weeks.
My wife and I found out May 15 of this year that we are going to have a baby.
ive been very excited, have gone to every appointment, and have put back every spare dime I have for him.

Just last week, my wife informed me, that on the night of May 10, she cheated on me with another man, and that because of that, the baby may not be mine. Now, according to the 7 week dating ultrasound, and her LMP of April 15, the Dr gave us a due date of January 20. With these dates it shows conception to have been around April 29.
however, my wife said because she didn't know, she found an at home prenatal paternity test for $400; that she sent off, and the place called her and said I wasn't the father.

While I feel in my heart that the baby is biologically mine, and the dates seem to confirm this, the "test result" scares me. I'm praying that it's just a fake answer, and the devil trying to come against my marriage.

i humbly ask for your prayers in my situation, for the baby to be biologically mine, for me to be able to completely forgive my wife for her transgression, and for our marriage to become stronger, and unbreakable.
Any prayers, comments, insight or anything would be very much appreciated, and please, if God gives you insight through prayer on this situation, please let me know.
Thank you!
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#2
How did you test yourself at home against the child's DNA if it isn't out of the womb? You need fluid from the child. I'm confused.
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#3
She said they sent her a kit to do a finger prick on herself, and she sent in a water bottle for my sample. It sounded completely fake to me also; because I called the DDC which does the tests; and they charge 1695, not 400, and require blood draw.
Im just hoping the test was fake and we can save our marriage.
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#4
I actually knew nothing of the test or the affair until she got the so called result.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#5
Lord bless bwdave84, his wife and the baby in the womb. Please solve this matter and give your peace, understanding. Lord please bless this matter. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#6
No such test. They can't do it by her blood. They need the baby. When tested they do the mother, baby and potential father. Been through it myself as well as siblings.

Given the dates, she was already pregnant.
Sounds like you have some sorting to do. I'll keep you in mind for prayer.
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#7
So you think she was already pregnant, and maybe just worried that it could be the other mans?
 

Prov910

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2017
880
47
0
#8
Hello, new here. I've been going through a very rough couple of weeks.
My wife and I found out May 15 of this year that we are going to have a baby.
ive been very excited, have gone to every appointment, and have put back every spare dime I have for him.

Just last week, my wife informed me, that on the night of May 10, she cheated on me with another man, and that because of that, the baby may not be mine. Now, according to the 7 week dating ultrasound, and her LMP of April 15, the Dr gave us a due date of January 20. With these dates it shows conception to have been around April 29.
however, my wife said because she didn't know, she found an at home prenatal paternity test for $400; that she sent off, and the place called her and said I wasn't the father.

While I feel in my heart that the baby is biologically mine, and the dates seem to confirm this, the "test result" scares me. I'm praying that it's just a fake answer, and the devil trying to come against my marriage.

i humbly ask for your prayers in my situation, for the baby to be biologically mine, for me to be able to completely forgive my wife for her transgression, and for our marriage to become stronger, and unbreakable.
Any prayers, comments, insight or anything would be very much appreciated, and please, if God gives you insight through prayer on this situation, please let me know.
Thank you!
Your wife conceived somewhere around April 16 (Jan. 20 minus 280 days). It's likely that her period would have happened on about May 1st or so, but it didn't because she was already with child. (I'm assuming this based on the Jan. 20th due date). So unless she had a period around the 1st of May, any extramarital activity on May 10th could not have result in a pregnancy. You're the father! (You can check this by asking her when her last period was before the pregnancy. If April 3rd, it's yours. If May 1st, it's questionable.)

I pray for you that you will be able to forgive your wife for her infidelity.
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#9
Her last period began on April 15; and according to the way the drs give the due date, they explained that they start from that day and count out 40 weeks. This was her only opportunity to be unfaithful. I've just been so upset, but I try to remain strong for my family. I truley do love my wife. I just wish God would send me an answer on the child, and help me forget what my wife did.
 
Jan 5, 2017
17
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#10
It seem to me that you need to have a face to face with your wife and discuss what happened and why. The future of your marriage is at stake here and you both need counseling to help you on to a different path. You will be wrestling with this on a spiritual level, you need to take care of yourself and work through all the emotions resulting from her infidelity, and you can continue to care for her as Christ cares for the Church. You can claim Hosea 2:6-7, and I would also recommend this article: Restoring a Marriage after Infidelity | Focus on the Family. My prayers go out for you and your family. What should be an exciting time is now very difficult for you but nothing is too hard for our Father Who loves families. Get the help you both need and go forward with a stronger family life. I have prayed for you today. Blessings.
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#11
When was the 7 week ultrasound? Seven means seven. If it counts back before the 10th of May it's yours. Unless she's not being honest..

I'm not trying to get your hopes up, if she's not being honest it may not be. I'm just attempting to sort it for understanding.
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#13
The 7 week ultrasound was June 6. He dated 7 weeks and 3 days, with a heartrate of 156bpm.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#15
It sounds like the baby is yours, dude. If you like, you can do a DNA test after littles is born. (that's pretty foolproof, most anything else is subject to error). I'll keep you in prayer. You've got a lot of healing to do and I pray that that goes smoothly for you.

I cannot say that I understand, because I've never been in your situation. But I sympathize. After spending some time in very heavy-hearted prayer for you and your family, I thought of something that comforted me. I hope it does the same for you. Even if you didn't help to make this baby's body, you are given the amazingly beautiful task of shaping their soul. A baby can hear at 18 weeks. You are the father this child will know and love--even before it is born.

God bless you, brother!
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#16
I believe the baby Is mine also. I really really appreciate the prayers, and the positive and kind words.
i just can't seem to understand how she said she had a prenatal DNA paternity test and that the place called and said I wasn't the dad...unless it's just a fake place that took her money.
 

LookUp1430

Junior Member
Jul 7, 2017
22
0
0
#17
Oh man. I am very sorry you are going through this. I will certainly pray for peace in your heart, a health baby, and a long and fruitful marriage.

Society today would tell you to bolt, that she messed up, that the kid is not yours, and that you have no obligation to be there. But I can tell from your words you still love her and want to forgive her like Jesus forgave all of us.

Perhaps going against what society would say to do is still an appropriate path? Showing grace to your wife, forgiving her like Jesus forgave us, and raising the child as if it were yours might be a very Christ-oriented way to go. Think of what kind of man that would show you to be in the eyes of your wife, your child, your friends and family. You would truly be salt and light.

In the meantime, have you considered talking to your pastor or a counselor about this situation? Maybe a few sessions can help you develop a good way to move forward.

Again, I am praying for you as you work your way through this challenging time.
 

bwdave84

Junior Member
Oct 18, 2017
11
0
0
#18
Thank you all again for everything. I know this is going to be an uphill battle, but I truly believe God placed her in my life for a reason. I love her unconditionally, and because of that, I have to forgive her. I still believe in my heart that biologically, the baby is mine, and that if anything, this is a test of my faith, and the devil trying to attack my marriage. And, I'm not willing to give up on her, or our family. I have faith that when the baby comes, everything is going to work out great.
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#19
Then it's impossible to have grown seven weeks from the 10th of May.. Unless she's hid more, I'll say a congratulations is in order!!!
The 7 week ultrasound was June 6. He dated 7 weeks and 3 days, with a heartrate of 156bpm.
 

blessedby1

Junior Member
Aug 15, 2017
23
0
0
#20
Definitely, yes prayer for you and your wife and your new family! The enemy will do anything to keep us distracted; he will do whatever it takes to keep our minds off of God. It is said that we have God’s character in our heart when we forgive. As you continue to forgive your wife, our Lord will bring blessing because God blesses obedience. Cling to Jesus! Make sure your walk with Him is strong by reading His Word; staying in prayer; and always be in obedience - even when you don’t feel like it. God will not only restore your marriage, He will cause it to flourish.
Going down that road, trying to figure out this date and that date and when that may have happened can drive you bonkers. You may not want to do that. Instead, understand that with God there are no accidents- that baby growing in your wife - as Psalm 119 puts it:
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
-Is a wonderful gift.
Regardless what your wife has done, the baby is yours. When your baby is born God will give all that you need to love him or her. Matthew 7 reminds us “So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Since God chose us to receive the most amazing gift of faith (even in our sin) will He not as His Children give us that what we ask. Ask. God will give you the strength, and the courage love the baby. Why? Because God’s nature is to love. God is love! So instead of trying to figure things out by our human standards- Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
If your mind begins to wonder of such things as: he does not have my nose; her hair is not like mine; why does he have this complexion or how come she has that. Stop your self. That is exactly what our enemy wants you to do. It will serve only to get your mind off of our Precious Lord and your thoughts and feelings and can easily overwhelm you resulting in anger, and bitterness. Instead do what Philippians 4 says to do: Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
Remember what Joseph had to endure as he knew that he and Mary had not consummated their marriage, yet she was with baby. Joseph trusted God.