My soul hurts so disconnected

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Aug 13, 2017
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#1
I need God so bad.. I don't know I feel horrible. I don't know what is wrong with me.am I unlovable? God gave up on me.so tired of putting walls so noone will hurt me so I keep to myself .. but even then they manage to hurt me .. calling me crazy ,stuck up,weird but I am not.... The pain intensifies cause I have no one to comfort me to give me advice....noone no body to ease my confusion or sadness. I cry sob to God to hear me cause I am tired I just don't fit in ... God I'm sorry I failed you and I can't connect I just don't belong.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
Putting up walls actually is damaging. Humans are not meant to be isolated, so when we isolate ourselves it goes against our mental, emotional and even physical health.
There are two parts to being around others.
1) learn to spot the toxic ones and identify the healthier ones
2) expect to be hurt to some degree

There are good and bad people on this earth, and often times we attract certain types with our speech, body language and behavior. Some of these are open invitations to people that victimize others. Or attract people that don't intentionally hurt you, but are unstable enough themselves, emotionally or mentally, that they seem to leave a trail of destruction and barely notice.
Everyone hurts everyone else. No matter what form of relationship, no matter the closeness or level of trust earned. You hurt people too. Some people will hurt you in large ways, or frequently. Others not so much. Some enjoy it, some regret it and a few don't know it.

Use frequency and severity of them hurting you to judge if you continue trusting and staying with someone.
Use wisdom to find answers, not pain to justify more pain.

As far as God goes, I've seen that more often than not people put themselves in situations, suffer the consequences and then blame God. Check yourself and see if you're doing anything to cause yourself pain. People usually respond with immediate denial and give it no thought, like I used to. Once I learned to not accuse God when my mistakes got me, the happier I was.
I became very sick years ago. I went through years and years of doctor visits, ER trips, medical procedures, things going wrong, new things coming up as a result of the first. It's been 9 years since it all started getting bad (years before that the problems started on a lesser scale). But guess what. It's my fault. Nine years later and I'm still having problems
I will require more surgeries and a lifetime of visits to specialists.
There were steps I could've taken to prevent it all together. I didn't. It's not God's fault I ended up here. And God doesn't "owe me" a healing. This whole situation was easier because I didn't blame God for my choices. Like I did in the past and often struggled with not feeling God.

Check your expectations on others. Some people tend to expect too much from others and when they can't live up to that expectation you can take it as a slight against you, when it's really you expecting too much and taking too personal when people fail.
Lastly, ensure you aren't overly sensitive. I'm not accusing you, it's just something anyone in your position needs to face. More often than not there is at least some degree of this going on.

If you're wondering I went through all you're going through and am speaking from experience and the wisdom others shared with me. It took me nearly 20 years to figure all this out and apply it.

The bible is full of people that suffered. Some for a short while, others for longer. Some their fault, some were acted upon against their will. Yet even reading Psalms and how often he seemed to feel God has left him, he trusted, rather than blamed because he knew God was still there and working, even if he couldn't see it. Something to consider in that example.
 
Aug 13, 2017
37
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#3
Thank you. I needed dearly someone input. I just moved and started my new job. I have been going through a lot of financial and emotional problems. I just needed someone to listen like I mentioned earlier just moved so I get lonely going to an empty apartment trying to make it on my own . Thank you
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,821
8,596
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#4
I need God so bad.. I don't know I feel horrible. I don't know what is wrong with me.am I unlovable? God gave up on me.so tired of putting walls so noone will hurt me so I keep to myself .. but even then they manage to hurt me .. calling me crazy ,stuck up,weird but I am not.... The pain intensifies cause I have no one to comfort me to give me advice....noone no body to ease my confusion or sadness. I cry sob to God to hear me cause I am tired I just don't fit in ... God I'm sorry I failed you and I can't connect I just don't belong.
It's going to be ok. You haven't failed God. He knows everything you will ever do. You CANNOT surprise Him, yet He loves you. If He didn't He wouldn't have sent His Son to die so that you can live.

Think about how hard that must've been. But He loves you THAT much!

We don't know you. Yet some of us have gone through similar pain, so we can relate to how you are feeling. And as a sister in Christ we love you too.

Neither God, nor us want to see you hurting. So cheer Up! You are a beloved daughter of the Most High God! What can man do to you?

Holy Father, our sister needs to realize that Your Presence is with her. Please manifest Yourself to her inner most being.
In Jesus sweet Name I pray.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#5
Lord we pray for celi007, let you bless the soul and body and mind. Lord we bind every power of darkness in celi007's life, and proclaim your glory , grace upon celi007. Lord please redeem celi007, and bless celi007's life. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
J

JB2018

Guest
#6
Lord, we pray for Celi007. God, we ask that you comfort and uplift in the name of Jesus. God, you said in the word that you will never leave us nor forsake us. God, we pray that Celi07 will begin to feel your presence strong right now. God, we pray that you shield the heart and mind with the blood of Jesus. Amen

Celi007, I want you to know that God cares deeply for you. He loves you so much that God himself formed in the flesh personally came down from heaven so that we could have life and have it more abundantly. Do not give up on God, because honestly he wouldnt give up on you. God bless you and I'm praying for you :)
 

EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
1,374
204
63
#7
Thank you. I needed dearly someone input. I just moved and started my new job. I have been going through a lot of financial and emotional problems. I just needed someone to listen like I mentioned earlier just moved so I get lonely going to an empty apartment trying to make it on my own . Thank you
I hope you start to feeling better. Delight yourself in God, and he will give you the desires of your heart! And don't worry about being "unlovable". Just live your life to please God.
 

Budman

Senior Member
Mar 9, 2014
4,153
1,998
113
#8
I need God so bad.. I don't know I feel horrible. I don't know what is wrong with me.am I unlovable? God gave up on me.so tired of putting walls so noone will hurt me so I keep to myself .. but even then they manage to hurt me .. calling me crazy ,stuck up,weird but I am not.... The pain intensifies cause I have no one to comfort me to give me advice....noone no body to ease my confusion or sadness. I cry sob to God to hear me cause I am tired I just don't fit in ... God I'm sorry I failed you and I can't connect I just don't belong.
Please know that Jesus loves you much, that while on the cross, you were on His mind. He promised to never leave or forsake you. God is with you at all times - always there to draw near to you as you draw near to Him.

Your life is in His strong hands. He cannot fail you. Free your mind of worry, and give that heavy burden over to the Lord.

He's big enough to carry it all.

Praying for you, dear one.
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
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#10
Celia, for you:

Say to the weary oneYour God will surely comeHe will come and save youHe will come and save youLift up your eyes to HimYou will arise againHe will come and save you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K866FVi5Cp4

Part of chorus of song i was listening to earlier.

 

JoshMal

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2018
142
6
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#11
I need God so bad.. I don't know I feel horrible. I don't know what is wrong with me.am I unlovable? God gave up on me.so tired of putting walls so noone will hurt me so I keep to myself .. but even then they manage to hurt me .. calling me crazy ,stuck up,weird but I am not.... The pain intensifies cause I have no one to comfort me to give me advice....noone no body to ease my confusion or sadness. I cry sob to God to hear me cause I am tired I just don't fit in ... God I'm sorry I failed you and I can't connect I just don't belong.
Greetings.
The 'hurt' that u feel in your soul is more of a calling. Some people have so much favour in God's eyes that he uses the Holy Spirit to draw people to Him. It just means that He has things in store 4 u.
That feeling won't stop until u accept Him fully.
God Bless.