Heavy heart

Brothers and sisters,

I ask you for prayers this night. My heart is heavy from years of wrong choices. God has been so good to me, and I have forgotten Him so many time. He gave me a wonderful family, though I couldn't see it when I was younger. I thought my parents were too strict, and I rebelled at every turn. Now I am 30 years old, and my heart is heavy. There are things I cannot change at this point. I feel any testimony I had for Christ is gone. My loneliness has got the best of me over the years, always turning to the the wrong places. Many broken relationships behind me. I don't know how to change at this point. The truth of Christ has never left my heart, but I really fell this last year. I had turned away in the past and turned back again, but this last year felt like the lowest. I fell into all the places I once believed Jesus had saved me from. Now my heart is broken. I call to him, but I keep stumbling every day. There are moments I feel at peace, and feel I can accept life as it is, but then I long for more. I long for Him, and I feel so far away. I know there are so many others out there with greater weights to carry than mine. I just want to stand again and live in Christ. Sending love to all of you.

Father God, we pray for livingbeing, please heal spiritually, physically and emotionally. Help to walk in your ways and glorify your name. Give your peace, joy understanding. Lord we agree with this prayer, please bless livingbeing and you shine in livingbeing. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!

livingbeing...“The Lord bless you and keep you; [SUP]25 [/SUP]The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

One thing I know for sure is the Lord will passionately pursue us until He has all of our heart. He will never stop loving you and calling you to Himself throughout your entire life journey. The scripture tells us that Jesus will leave the 99 sheep to find the one lost sheep that has gone astray: Mathew 18:12. Your heart is heavy because the Lord is speaking to your heart, and your feeling the sting of sin, and a longing to belong fully to the Lord. I want to encourage you in the Lord, that it doesn't matter if you have failed a thousand times in life, because Jesus love for you will never change. He wants all of you, because He has a covenant promise He made for us all when He died on the cross for our sins. After reading your post, it reminded me of my life years ago, and the complete brokenness I felt with past mistakes & not allowing the Lord to have all of my heart. There is beauty in brokenness when we finally come to the end of "ourselves" & surrender completely to the Lord. Just know Jesus only wants to bring beauty in your ashes, strength where there is weakness, love where there is loneness, hope where there is despair, peace where that is pain, which all comes with new life in Him. He knows the way! Trust Him with your life! Here's a couple song that I think minister to your spirit & bring your peace in the Lord.
"Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury, "From the Inside out" from Hillsong...

Thank you Violet, God bless you.

Your past is just that - the past. Let it go and simply rejoice in the fact you are forgiven - your sins will be remembered no more. God has thrown them as far as the east is from the west. You are fully accepted and loved of God.

We all stumble, but are not condemned. Jesus took all of our condemnation - do not condemn yourself.

Praying for you.