I found myself in a what might very well be a situation similar to yours. My sins just kept taking me further away from who I had been and wanted to be. When I found myself on my knees and then eventually on my face at the end of myself, I realized Jesus was there with open arms, that He had been there waiting for me all that time to lean on Him and fall into those arms. What I was told is to lean into Him and He would draw me near.
So each day I would start out with prayer, morning devotionals and reading His word. Spending time throughout the day talking to Him and again praying at night. I used CC as a means of relating to other believers and focused on Christian music and TV instead of wordly junk.
I can only tell you how awesome it was to watch Him do amazing things in my life each and every day to help me through the trials and tribulations. My sin had me in chains and once again, putting my faith and trust in Him again, seeking His will, He set me free from those chains I had allowed Satan to bind me in. You see, the enemy found a foothold in my life and began to take over...I assure you, Jesus is waiting for you to lean in to Him ...with open arms.
Prayers for you brother! God bless!