J
My husband has fallen off the deep end to put it lightly. Approximately, 3 months ago I was faced with a new trauma which stirred up a lot of issues from my past including recall and repressed memories, and deciding where my parents belong in my present. This has been very difficult for my marriage. My husband is young and immature. He does his best, but he really does not understand much. I have been very distant physically because I'm scared of flashbacks. It hasn't been too hard because my husband has also been distant because he's taking it personally. Well a few days ago, I decided to give it a whirl. Big mistake! I started crying and was scared. He asked me what was wrong, but all I could say was that I was scared. However, I didn't make him stop because he has tended to get pouty and angry when I have in the past. When all was said and done, I lied down and cried. He came after me, but I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even put words to what I was feeling. Later on that day he asked me again what was wrong. When I told him he broke down histerically, snarted hitting things, threw his phone at me, and yelled, "You're f****** sick!"--at least that's what I heard. Then he sped off in the car. The next morning he would not get out of bed, or go to church. I left him alone because I was doing worship for Easter. He had volunteered to help with the powerpoint but he blew them off without saying anything. Near the end of church, he told me to get a ride to his dad's house because he had nothing left and he wasn't going. Still later he texted me that he was doing very badly. I told him I loved him, but that he better not ever tell me I'm f****** sick again. He texted me back that he said "That's f****** sick!" and that he didn't mean to throw the phone at me, and that he was very sorry that I took it that way.
When I got home last night, he was just staring at the wall. There are three people that I talk to and when he found out that I told them he wrote an email to the pastors at our church saying that he was taking a break and not to contact him. Then he asked me how I felt. I said that I was angry and I thought it was passive. He let out the biggest scream I've ever heard and told me to stop and he'd been contemplating suicide. At some point soon after, he got up and walked to the bedroom where he collapsed by the door and started slamming his head against it.
After leaving him alone a minute I got him up and had to help him to the couch. He was very unstable. he sat there a minute, and began to calm down a little. I made him go to bed, and he stared at the ceiling the whole night. In the morning I made him get up and take me to work and then go visit his sister. We were going to breakfast and he wouldn't get out of the car because he said he couldn't put a face on.
I know he's hurting and he knows it. We've had so many talks about things that need to be addressed and it's gone ignored after the initial shock... Now he's running away from it all instead of facing it. I know he loves the Lord, but I don't trust him to choose another church and be honest there. I'm pretty sure he will go and tell them he's being picked on at our church. I don't know what else to do. He gave me permission to stay at our church.
When I got home last night, he was just staring at the wall. There are three people that I talk to and when he found out that I told them he wrote an email to the pastors at our church saying that he was taking a break and not to contact him. Then he asked me how I felt. I said that I was angry and I thought it was passive. He let out the biggest scream I've ever heard and told me to stop and he'd been contemplating suicide. At some point soon after, he got up and walked to the bedroom where he collapsed by the door and started slamming his head against it.
After leaving him alone a minute I got him up and had to help him to the couch. He was very unstable. he sat there a minute, and began to calm down a little. I made him go to bed, and he stared at the ceiling the whole night. In the morning I made him get up and take me to work and then go visit his sister. We were going to breakfast and he wouldn't get out of the car because he said he couldn't put a face on.
I know he's hurting and he knows it. We've had so many talks about things that need to be addressed and it's gone ignored after the initial shock... Now he's running away from it all instead of facing it. I know he loves the Lord, but I don't trust him to choose another church and be honest there. I'm pretty sure he will go and tell them he's being picked on at our church. I don't know what else to do. He gave me permission to stay at our church.
