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hi everyone i just about have the strength to ask, i will proberly get a lot of reprimands for this but here goes: i attend a church where the last days are seeming more evident the enemy is trying to place so much distant lonliness and disorder in a church where when i was ten i just couldnt wait to be a part of the joy that radiated on every persons face, i know we as people go through test and trails and the enemy attacks the church.
But what if you never see joy in the church your at, im not fault finding or complaining, i cant seem to say what im trying to say without sounding that way basicly i ain pretending things are rosey anymore it breaks my heart tha so many times i have to wear a mask and others do because they are afraid people wont care or they will judge them or that they just wont understand i am not gona give up praying about all things in my life and the life of others that concern me things and poeple i care about poeple i may never even know.
I ask that you would basicly pray that i will have strength to withstand until god shows me for certain how he wants to use me i always ask him to let his will for my life be my dream and ambition for my life but lately many areas of my life have been so difficult it all started to cascade around me when i lost my dad to cancer 28th april 2007 but i dont want to complain i was blessed with a great dad for 21 years who was my best freind.
I just feel like i aint got the strength to keep prayin bout christian mates or why is this person treatin me that way or why does this person never call, or why has this person stopped talkin to me or carin bout me WHO CARES ANYMOREthats how i feel not bitter just sad with certain situations and i love these people tons they just dont get it i love strangers i care about peoplei know trails and test happens i just feel like why should i care if no one else is bothered why should i cry out at god at night when no one else around me seems to care aboutthe things i care about(well sometimes it seems that way i know this sounds bad but i just cant do it anymore) i just dont care anymore im just hurtin myself i just keep cryin i have two unsaved mates and all the christian mates i had has left church they dont spk to me cos they said me bein a christian makes them feel guilty so i am a loner i dont care about appearances i dont care if people think im a sad loner this is the reality, and i just dont care anymore
But what if you never see joy in the church your at, im not fault finding or complaining, i cant seem to say what im trying to say without sounding that way basicly i ain pretending things are rosey anymore it breaks my heart tha so many times i have to wear a mask and others do because they are afraid people wont care or they will judge them or that they just wont understand i am not gona give up praying about all things in my life and the life of others that concern me things and poeple i care about poeple i may never even know.
I ask that you would basicly pray that i will have strength to withstand until god shows me for certain how he wants to use me i always ask him to let his will for my life be my dream and ambition for my life but lately many areas of my life have been so difficult it all started to cascade around me when i lost my dad to cancer 28th april 2007 but i dont want to complain i was blessed with a great dad for 21 years who was my best freind.
I just feel like i aint got the strength to keep prayin bout christian mates or why is this person treatin me that way or why does this person never call, or why has this person stopped talkin to me or carin bout me WHO CARES ANYMOREthats how i feel not bitter just sad with certain situations and i love these people tons they just dont get it i love strangers i care about peoplei know trails and test happens i just feel like why should i care if no one else is bothered why should i cry out at god at night when no one else around me seems to care aboutthe things i care about(well sometimes it seems that way i know this sounds bad but i just cant do it anymore) i just dont care anymore im just hurtin myself i just keep cryin i have two unsaved mates and all the christian mates i had has left church they dont spk to me cos they said me bein a christian makes them feel guilty so i am a loner i dont care about appearances i dont care if people think im a sad loner this is the reality, and i just dont care anymore