How do you let go of REGRET?!

This is a short summary of my situation with GOD and the things that have actually happened in my LIFE.

Back in 2004 I took my family to a local church, because it was the right thing to do. My daughter was 3 years old at the time, and me and my wife had been married for 5 plus years. We went faithfully for a while, and then a man that was married at the time, started meeting my wife at the church after hours. My wife would tell me that she was "volunteering at the churches coffee shop" when I would get home after a long stressfully day at work. The whole time we where married. she never had to work, i provided and she got to raise our daughter.
When I would ask her if I could come up to the church with her, she would say, that we needed our own separate set of friends.... This made me uncomfortable, but I trusted that she was doing something that was making her happy....so i thought no harm could POSSIBLY COME FROM IT...

For about 1 year, this went on, AROUND EASTER OF 2004 until one day she told me she wanted a divorce.

Come to find out, she was going up to the church alright, but she was spending INNAPPROPIATE TIME WITH THIS MARRIED MAN, AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH COFFEE SHOP KNEW IT.
not A SINGLE ONE OF THEN CALLED TO ALERT ME OF THIS SITUATION. A TON if people knew about it because he was a youth type pastor "leader" in the youth ministry coffee shop thing....
I found out later when I went up to the church and started asking questions....Yes, come to find out that no had the guts to call me and tell me and do the right thing.....

This is what happened:

After a year long affair going on in my house, while i was at work...that i was working my brains out to pay for, him living in an apartment no having a dime to his name, still really doesn't, HE left his wife and children to STEAL MINE. My daughter began to bond with him at the church and take my place.
I ended up moving out of our house, into a bad apartment complex. I paid child support 1 year before we actually got divorced. I am sure they used that money for their escapades.

In 2006. I had a nervous breakdown when they moved to Florida. I could not afford to follow them and they where gone for a YEAR AND A HALF. They MOVED because the "FAMILY STEALER" had his kid down there from his x-wife that he divorced to STEAL MINE.

Now it is 2009 and I have missed TONS of time with my daughter that I loved more than anything.
I see her every once in a while like at parks, but I have no been able to recover financially since 2004 and now I am on medication due to my nervous breakdown back in 2006.

FACT:
If I had never trusted God and gone to that Church, that man would never have met my wife, and I would more than likely still have my family...

You cannot tell that was GOD"s "wonderful loving master plan "i am your farther"..I know best for your life son"......

Do you know that things happen withOUT God's permission ALL THE TIME.......

EVIL MEAN SELFISH PEOPLE THAT ONLY CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES GET IN OUR WAY ALL THE TIME AND STEAL THINGS FROM US....I HAVE SUFFERED WITHOUT PURPOSE SINCE THIS HAS TAKEN PLACE BACK IN 2004.....

Thanks for the kind encouraging words. Most people really don;t care until it happens to them, then they are some how "all of the sudden" more empathedic.

Honestly, my heart is to tore up these days, I can barley even stand it.

I just don't understand why things happen.

It just seems God punished me so severly, and I cannot see how this is for my "Benefit".

So when God "lets things happen" is it ALWAYS for our Betterment? Is it really?

OR, like in the Old Testament, He just pours out HIS wrath in HIS justified Righteousness?

Any Ideas?

God always treats us tenderly...and though we may view what he is doing as just hurting us; we have the promise from scripture,,,that all things turn out for the good of those who love God...who are called according to his purposes...so turn this over to the Lord, like your other issue...and seek God in all things...

And May the Lord fill you with strength and hope
tony

Hi Seth, Im sorry about the pain you have had to endure these pass years,I will keep you in my prayers.I guess God showed you what was really in this womens heart shes not the women you thought she was ... that man could have never stole her if her heart was really with you,but I believe people reap what they sow .I can assure you in due time if he cheated on his ex-wife eventually he will cheat on your ex-wife .You should spend this time moving on with life.Read the scripture of Job he lost everything and God restored and gave him back everything and more keep your head up brother ....God is not through with you yet! Your reward is on the way.Do not become faint hearted and don't cry over a woman who morals are that low your so much better than that .She made a vow before God and she did not honor it and she did not honor you but that doesn't mean that you are not deservant of happiness .

Oh what I would give to be 25 again and see the future...

How do you know you have suffered without purpose??? You may think right now that there has not been a purpose in this, but i assure you everything on this earth happens for a reason ... do you think god didnt know this exact thing was gonna happen to you and your family. He knew every step you would ever take and everything that would happen to you even before you were born.. I dont say this lightly, i have not been in your particular situation, but all the same ive been in some that i thought god was completely absent from, or that like you i was suffering for no reason at all. I cant tell you how sorry i am for whats happend to you! You are in a very tough situation and you are suffering. Maybe god has allowed this to happen so that you would be able to minister to someone who is not saved and going through the same thing. I cant tell you enough how sorry i am this has happend to your family... i will definantly be praying for you and your situation. And i'm not just saying that... i really mean it.

It is amazing where Satan plants his people, isn't it? Unfortunately, God gets all the blame because it's a church. You really think for a minute that God brought that man into your wife's life? Never would God go against his word. He wouldn't tell us "do not commit adultery" and then place adulterous people in our paths. It sounds like your wife strayed off the path to God and took the devil's bait. Put the blame where it belongs - your wife's freedom to choose.

The guy sounds like he has antisocial personality disorder. About 3% of general population males have it.

I don't want to sound glib and say "these things happen" but we all have our faith tested by something.

1) What Bible verse supports "Everything happens for a reason?" That is a New Age thought process, not Biblical.
2) If that is true, then God is part "Sadist". God is Love, if I thought HE was really behind the affair, I would not see where LOVE would be the active ingredient, only revenge.
3) Yes, I hope you never have to experience this level of unnecessary heart ache, it does no good at all for anyone or anything.
4) The devil destroyed my family due to my own lack of Christ-Like behavior.
5) Free-Will was given to us, even though I think it actually has done way more damage, then proved anything at all.
6) You have no idea of what type of pain and sadness you are addressing, since you have not experienced it.
7) I share my trials, not to exalt myself in any way shape or form, but to let people know that sometimes things happen that are simply not supposed to happen,Our only Hope is in Christ.
8) If I for one second thought God "pre-designed" me to go through this type of sadness, I would hate him with all my heart. He had nothing to do with this.
9) God had nothing to do with this. period.
10) I was the one who screwed up, and it was NOT in HIS plan for me. Period.

This guy? So you don't even have enough courage to address me and attack me straight on.
Just by attacking me like this, you are doing nothing more than letting others know you have no heart.

thanks for doing us the favor.

Satan also plants people on sites like this to discourage people from opening up by trying to make them seem wrong or incorrect by have feelings they have. I was wondering if anyone was going to attack for just sharing my heart. hmmm, thanks, next time you open up, I might just be kind and Christ like, instead of sarcastic and mean as you have shown us all just now.
I can see why people are sometimes hesitant on really being honest, becasue they get jumped on, which really is not a Christ like character at all. So all you have done is shown your lack of true Christ like character by being
uncaring towards my situation. Hope it never happens to you.

I can tell by your words that you are a True Believer and follower of Christ.Thanks for the words of encouragement, however I feel that this world is not the true reward. This world is full of evil and vanity. People profess with their lips they serve Christ, but in the other hand they hold a dagger as they attempt to deceive you and embrace you with their false love.

Many will come to me in the day, and say Lord, Lord I did all this in your name, I cast out demons, I built many churches and fed the hungry. Then the Lord will say them "Depart from me, your workers of iniquity, I never knew you".

Mat 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

Mat 7:23
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

I want to make sure I am not in that category. I am a God pleaser, I gave up on people pleasing a long time ago.

People favor the wealthy, the beautiful and make them idols, they will never admit it, but they do it all day long. Their hearts are far from the real things of God. Their words are drenched with sarcasm and unfeeling darts. I used to think that in Revelations it was such a harsh ending. Now, after living 37 years, I don't.

Seth, please dont take offense to this, but it seems alot of people are giving you their takes on this matter, but your not doing anything but ripping apart the answers. I mean honestly, do you want someones opinion on things, or just to try and prove that god isnt in control of a situation but satan is. Just curious. thats all

You actually believe that is all happens to way it's supposed to?

According to the US Department of justice right here in America, every 2 minutes a woman is raped.

I want you to tell me, knowing that fact, that is supposed to be happening.

I am using wisdom and life experience, to state the obvious conclusion.

As hard as it is for you to believe seth YES, i believe that everything is ordained by god. I believe that god is in control of EVERY situation. And i believe that he allows certain things to happen. obviously there is free will that god gives us, but do you think he doesnt know exactly what choices we are going to pick. That man that took your family.. did you not think that god KNEW that man was going to make the choices that he did to lead up to him takin your family... or you think god had NOO IDEA, and satan did this to you. I realize more than you know that a woman is raped every two minutes. As a child i watched it happen to my mother on more than one occasion, and NOW my mom is a christian and she counsels unbelievers that have gone through the same thing and has gotten to share the gospel with alot of them, if that had not have happend to her, she wouldnt have been able to talk with these woman, or share the gospel with them. i believe EVERYTHING under the sun god has control of!

SO before I was created, God thought, I am going to punish Seth. He has caused trouble up here, I am going to create a situation, a circumstance, and oh, lets make sure he feels betrayal for the ones he loves the most. Do you know I have actually had dreams of this...
If this is the case, man, I am almost willing to just say the hell with it all. I have reviewed many different points of my life, when you hit 37 man, you really look back. When things FAIL, you wonder why.
You ask yourself over and over, I was able to avoid that? How could my gut be so wrong, How could the peacefully feeling about something, lead me to DISASTER.
I cannot tell you all the jacked up things I have gotten myself into, that just seem to have found me.
I am scared now of GOD and HIS wrath, and I am not living in any type of whacked of sin or anything.
I am just very Honest. If something doesn't seem right, I am going to say something about it.
When you are in your 20 before say 30 or so, things are like "super hero faith", but things go south on you, and you really could not avoid it or didn't see it coming, your "spirit" breaks. Then, you see how the devil has ruined your life with people, places and things. You can see how it had to be some form of evil that you just didn't sense.
Maybe some warning signs you refused to look at.
I used to have Faith that moves mountains, until the mountains fall on you.
I am not the only one on this planet, that feels like this either. I am not alone on this.
If I could just go back in time, I cannot tell you how different my life would be.
I am saying that I just don't know like I used to. Before things get whacked out, you have this type of Trust in GOD, that everything gonna be alright. I can tell you right now, I DO NOT FEEL THAT WAY ANYMORE.
I am actually scared of GOD now, where I used to really love him.
I serve HIM more now because I am scared of things going south again on me out of the blue.
I feel like GOD has cursed me. I have memories and all kinds of dreams to support this, I know it says HE loves us all, but I just cannot help but address reality. The stark reality of my life as it really is right now in this moment.
People judge each other and are mean all day long, and claim they love others.
I see the PHIALZ in it all now, where as before I just had faith.
Thanks for trying to encourage me, I am really trying to snap out of it. I am scared of living now, where as before I had the courage of a super hero. I feel that to many things have crushed my spirit, and I am constantly fighting just hating everything.
It's like the guy who makes tons of cash, then looses it all, then jumps off the building due to the fact he cannot accept the lose.
I am not saying this is the way it is for you, or anyone else.
I can see that GOD has favorites, I did not want to bring this up, but it;s like you almost have to live in a state of denial not to see this fact.

I really was in Love with this woman a long time ago, and she stole my heart, and then left me...this was even before i was married and all that. I never got over her man.
People that never fall in love, will NOT understand this. I cannot go in to much detail, but no one will believe me.

FACT: I am a true follower of Christ, but I am scared because of the heart ache I really have.
and no, I am not mental. They thought Christ himself a lunatic. That's what people say when you are to different or not the same as the crowd. They curse you and try to silence you up.

I could have really been somebody man, and you know what, I screwed up. I trusted the wrong people, did the wrong things at the wrong times. God told me to do something over 20 years ago, and he told me that If I did not do it, I would regret it for the rest of my life, and you know what, I DO.

He was right. So in other words, GOD has a awesome plan for my life, BUT I BLEW IT.

that is really how i feel....

thanks for trying to help.

Seth, i'm sorry you feel this way. I really can relate, and i totally get where your comin from on this, your really hurt by everything and you have every reason to be! these are just my opinons on things though.. you really need to seek god on this. I'm not going to try and convince you of anything. This is between you and god. but i will be praying for you definantly!

p.s. LOVE STINKS lol

Thanks bro.

You know what, I am actually not going to miss this planet bro.