I need some super natural power to be able to let this one woman go from my past.
She is not the woman I married, she was not with me for a long time, but the time i spent with her was the very essence of HEAVEN. It took me 20 plus years to put things together, and now because of who she is in the world's eye's she is unreachable and it's tears my heart out. Matter fact, when she left I was never the same.
We where together when we where little and that's when it all started. We got separated and I am mad at God.
for that. I think all the time we missed growing up, but then latter she found me, but like a whirlwind she came and went again, then she showed back again, and then left again.
I cannot explain to you all the details, because no one would even believe me and that's ok.
The problem is this, I have dreams about her, waking visions of her sometimes which I see her and the guy that she married. DO you understand that this is super natural torment. I looked her up online one of the many times and laid and saw her in a video, after watching it I started freaking our and cried so hard on the couch I thought i would die of a heart attack.
I CANNOT STOP FEELING THIS WAY ABOUT HER.....SO WHAT i DO IS JUST NOT LOOK HER UP, BUT THAT IS VERY TOUGH. IT'S LIKE GOD, ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN..ALMOST IN A REVENGE UPON ME.
It's strange to say that, but I cannot understand what else it could be.
Ok, imagine laying in bed, you are not asleep, but you feel pretty good. Then, without your permission all of the sudden, you close your eyes and see her husband, "he tells you "This is going to hurt you Seth", then you see a huge Christmas tree and the love of her life there on Christmas day, but your only see her from behind, and at that moment, the PAIN and REGRET was so overwhelming that I jumped out of bed and started pacing...
I feel GOD is allowing the devil or "something" the do this to me...I have been praying big time about this for a while now, my memories where blocked for a long time about her...
BUt you see, I loved her this way when we where little, before she became what she is now. That's the thing, whenever i see her, I have PAIN. I have tried to let this go, but uit comes to me....
This even happened to me just last week, and just last night I had a dream of her and she was there close to me, and in the dream I felt so much love for her, and then she was gone, it was terrible, I woke up feeling all screwed up. I am not living in any sin that I know of, and I am not on purpose looking her up or watching her at all anymore...it's just to painful....
WHAT DO I DO????? i REALLY FEEL THIS IS REVENGE UPON ME FROM GOD, THAT HE HAS DIRECTED THIS ALL TO HAPPEN.....WHO DO I TURN TO IF I CANNOT TURN TO HIM????? The Worse feeling is that I feel she hates me, and that makes me sooo sad..........
She is not the woman I married, she was not with me for a long time, but the time i spent with her was the very essence of HEAVEN. It took me 20 plus years to put things together, and now because of who she is in the world's eye's she is unreachable and it's tears my heart out. Matter fact, when she left I was never the same.
We where together when we where little and that's when it all started. We got separated and I am mad at God.
for that. I think all the time we missed growing up, but then latter she found me, but like a whirlwind she came and went again, then she showed back again, and then left again.
I cannot explain to you all the details, because no one would even believe me and that's ok.
The problem is this, I have dreams about her, waking visions of her sometimes which I see her and the guy that she married. DO you understand that this is super natural torment. I looked her up online one of the many times and laid and saw her in a video, after watching it I started freaking our and cried so hard on the couch I thought i would die of a heart attack.
I CANNOT STOP FEELING THIS WAY ABOUT HER.....SO WHAT i DO IS JUST NOT LOOK HER UP, BUT THAT IS VERY TOUGH. IT'S LIKE GOD, ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN..ALMOST IN A REVENGE UPON ME.
It's strange to say that, but I cannot understand what else it could be.
Ok, imagine laying in bed, you are not asleep, but you feel pretty good. Then, without your permission all of the sudden, you close your eyes and see her husband, "he tells you "This is going to hurt you Seth", then you see a huge Christmas tree and the love of her life there on Christmas day, but your only see her from behind, and at that moment, the PAIN and REGRET was so overwhelming that I jumped out of bed and started pacing...
I feel GOD is allowing the devil or "something" the do this to me...I have been praying big time about this for a while now, my memories where blocked for a long time about her...
BUt you see, I loved her this way when we where little, before she became what she is now. That's the thing, whenever i see her, I have PAIN. I have tried to let this go, but uit comes to me....
This even happened to me just last week, and just last night I had a dream of her and she was there close to me, and in the dream I felt so much love for her, and then she was gone, it was terrible, I woke up feeling all screwed up. I am not living in any sin that I know of, and I am not on purpose looking her up or watching her at all anymore...it's just to painful....
WHAT DO I DO????? i REALLY FEEL THIS IS REVENGE UPON ME FROM GOD, THAT HE HAS DIRECTED THIS ALL TO HAPPEN.....WHO DO I TURN TO IF I CANNOT TURN TO HIM????? The Worse feeling is that I feel she hates me, and that makes me sooo sad..........