Desiring Jesus

I am getting over a spiritual slump in my life where I put a lot of things over God. Like David though (Psalm 32:3-5), God broke me to a point where all I could do is repent. I am now throwing a lot of things out, physical and spiritual (daily battle on that one), in my life.

I don't have a group of "desiring God above all else" believers (well, my mom, other than her though) I can have fellowship with on a weekly (more than that hopefully) basis that I can be accountable with.

Today I just finished a letter to my Sunday school class (mostly filled with people old enough to be my grandparents - I am 24) really explaining what I want spiritually for others and from myself. I tried explaining in class but I got nervous and my words cam out all wrong so I wanted to clarify though a letter (e-mail). I basically gave the Gospel and made a choice for them. Follow Jesus deeply or not. I tried to be as gentle as possible, lol. I am just trying to separate the "wheat from the chafe" so I who I can have deep fellowship with. Also I wanted to bring people to a choice about Jesus and cross for their own sake too. I tried to back up every point I made with Scripture.

I am sick of the Baptist "don't step on any toes now" mentality (though that is in every denomination really). I want to be surrounded by people who will pray and live this pray from A. W. Tozer:

Yes, I've read Tozer and what he says makes a lot of sense; but his approach can alienate people.

I'd like to warn you about something. You may come across to the others as "I'm sorry but you're just not spiritual enough for me....you'll just have to do better". Tozer did alienate people. I know he felt called by God to 'tell it like it is' and maybe that worked well in some ways. But for me, I respond better to a loving and gentle approach and not an approach that sounds like 'you owe me something'.

We have a couple in our church who I know means well but they come across as arrogant, conceited, and judgmental; their aim is to make people 'get in touch with their fallen selves and confess' . But their personalities are such that there isn't much confessing or fellowshipping going on and they are just alienating themselves from everybody. I know they think it's for our own 'good' but I think they are following their own methods and not the Spirit's.

I do understand your desire for deep Christian relationships. The sad fact is that those are rare, but not impossible to find.

I will be praying for you that you find a few close Christian friends that you can really relate to and that these friendships will build you up

As a substitute, there are some wonderful theologians out there who nicely put their teachings into print. I would have to say that my salvation (and my on-going sanctification) has come mainly through their teachings. We are still called to participate in 'the Body' and hopefully, we can be fed, and do some feeding ourselves.

One interesting thing that may come out of your confrontation with your Sunday School class is that the mature Christians may make themselves known to you. You certainly have a bold spirit

Thank you again for your words everyone.

I have received a kind e-mail from an elderly man whom I have know for over half my life (he is in my Sunday school class). He has given me kind words but he has told me to find joy in the private times with the Lord. He also said that he cannot find fellowship in our church so has resorted to having fellowship alone with God. I told him how important fellowship with other believers is (supported with scripture) and that he cannot give up on seeking others out. There was more to that but that was the jest of it. So far he has been the only one to contact me about it. I am afraid of going to Sunday school on Sunday. People will probably give me a major "stink eye" if you know what I mean. Oh well, what I said was scripture. I have been praying about it everyday though.