Falling again

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Nov 21, 2011
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#1
Hi,

I'm having a really hard time right now and I need prayers. I've been really depressed before but somehow I managed to stand up again. College started near in the end of August and it's a complicated situation here in Canada but I had a whole week of important exams last week. Since the beginning school I haven't been sleeping well, my heart hurts literally and my whole body too. I'm always tired and well I have the whole package... I have been studying so hard and I prayed and prayed over and over again. I was so confident that this semester was going to be different from the last one (Last semester I was really depressed and failed most of my classes) I was doing my exams knowing that God was with me.

This week I learned that I had failed most of my exams except one. I'm grateful because so far I'm doing good in 3 classes but the other 3 are a little bit more though for me.

I didnt know how to feel about failing again. One moment I was crying and the other moment I was saying to myself '' you can't give up now'' And now I just feel like I'm dead inside. I'm so tired of that, I'm so tired of everything. Sometimes I'm so tired of living. And I feel like I'm such a disappointment. I feel like a failure in every single area of my life. The problem is not only school but that's just the straw that broke the camel's back (That's the only expression that I could find...)

I want to be a doctor in the military. That's not an option for me. God put that in my heart when I was very young. I won't give that up. But I'm failing and all I want to do right now is go in my room and never come out.

I can't even explain how lost I am. I don't know what God want me to do. I prayed and I prayed. I just don't know what's the next step right now. I just feel like I'm dead inside, I'm dying spiritually and I have no reason to live right now. There's nothing holding me. I feel so empty.
 
O

OFM

Guest
#2
hanna i will pray special for you please keep praying for your spiritual breakthrough and all of your neesd too be met read hebrews 11,and 12 then john 14:1-6, then ps 27 1-2 ps 100 ps 62 jn 10:10 ,1st jn 1:5 9-13 just sit in qietness share from ur heart with Lord and do it openly ask so close christian sisters here or from your church to pray with you.be blessed right now and forever allways amen.....
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
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#3
Huge hugs hannah, you are in my prayers in Jesus for all you need.
Stop beating yourself up, for you are loved because you are God's daughter, not because of what you do. :)

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
Sep 8, 2012
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#4
Jesus, I claim your protective shield over my sister, and your mutual peace and comfort to guide her.
Lord, we don't understand but you understand.
Lord, we can't move mountains but you can.
Lord Jesus, thank you for your rest, peace and deliverance from all the
lying darts of the enemy.
Because we know that who you have established, shall in no wise be scattered;
we rest in the knowledge that your omnipotent power will not only guide Hannah;
but see it through to the end. Because what God has established shall no person, circumstance, weakness or demon be able to topple.
Thank You that You have established Hannah!
In Jesus mighty name............
 
D

destiny

Guest
#5
i hv such expilence after my college to my high institution but God later see me through. So i pray he wil also see u through in jesus name Amen.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
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#6
Sometimes you just have to adjust your dream. God does not make you do something without giving you the ability to do it :). Being depressed is a sure sign that something is not right with what you're attempting.

He does not expect you to kill yourself in reaching a goal.
Be realistic and think about all of your options ... Fewer classes, a lighter semester load, or another related field.

Go to the doctor for a checkup and see if you have a medical reason for fatigue and headaches. It could be just stress but go find out :).

Sweetie, you do not have to be miserable....make some changes and enjoy life. Make realistic plans and goals and have some down time.

Not everybody is cut out to be a doctor. But there are MANY related fields that you can make a huge contribution in.


Praying for you...guidance, comfort, and some good sleep :).
 
Aug 29, 2012
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#7
Well, would you be willing to be a doctor's assistant, a surgical team member, a nurse, a field medic? Some require more test taking than others, but perhaps one of them could give you a stepping stone towards what you want to do?

Be praying for you though!
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#8
Dear child of God, don't give up. A low confidence is difficult to battle.

If it is any help: Although I mostly get Ok grades, I almost failed my bachelor thesis and am currently redoing it.

Yes school is important, however:
If you do what you can (attend classes, read on your own, show interest), you are doing better than many of the other students...
(at least if students there are anything like students here).

- Putting yourself down will not do you any good, it will only take your focus off studying and off God.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#9
Our beautiful Hannah. The Lord loves you. We love you. I love you.
I know we use those words often, and they can begin to sound trite.
But it is the absolute, dependable Truth. The Lord loves you! And because of Him, we do, too. :)

I have asked God to send you people who can show God's love to you in person.
So, be on the lookout, because He is so faithful to give us all we need, and more.

Sweetheart, you have fallen into the enemy's trap of believing lies about yourself, and about God.
(I know this trap a little too well. :( )
When you read your Bible, see what He says about you. Don't discount it, or think He means it for others.
I realize that's a tall order, but it isn't my order...it's His. (Mark 9:7)
When you feel it least is when you need it most, I think.
Read what he says and believe it, even if you have to say, "in faith, I believe", like the father of the boy with the unclean spirit. (Mark 9:17-24)

Abba, I bring Hannah Grace to Your mercy seat, so she can get mercy. You are our Father, and Your Son is our Savior. God, you are the Author of every good thing, and love and grace and mercy top that list. ♥
Make these more than words in Hannah's heart and mind and life.
Lord, please send those whom You've chosen to Hannah to help her, I ask that she will see and know these people, and not be too busy with coursework or sadness to notice. Give her strength to put herself out there another time, and courage against possible rejection. You love her and are always with her, and for this I praise You! Yet I ask again that you will send her friends and also older people to minister Truth and Love to her.
Encourage her dear heart, Abba, and make her to know the Truth about who she sis because of Jesus, in whose Name I pray, amen.


 
Jun 24, 2010
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#10
Is 40:28-31

28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
 
Nov 21, 2011
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#11
Thank you everyone for your prayers. I actually feel way better than the day I wrote this message so now I'm a little embarrassed to have been overly reacting. ^^ I just came to God and talked to Him and told Him how I felt and ever since I just have the conviction that everything is going to be fine. I'm also starting to feel less tired. Every day I'm just learning more and more to stop seeing things with my eyes and start walking by faith.

And thank you for all your advises. I also have the conviction that i'll be a doctor in the military specialized in general surgery and failing philosophy and physic mechanic class are not enough to make me change my mind.
Thank you everyone again for your prayers
And God bless you all.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
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#12
ewww....philosophy :(

I used to think this would be interesting until I learned about the 'trivial' topics it focused on. I think people who like to debate small details like philosophy. Just not something I've ever enjoyed.
 
S

shekaniah

Guest
#13
Keep on praying!
Ask God for knowledge, wisdom and understanding before class and exams.
I have prayed for you too!
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#14
ewww....philosophy :(
Lucy! LOL
Thanks for starting my day with laughter! :)

I took just ONE philosophy class (one too many, for me), and "ewww" just about summed it up.
For me, it was a lot like "let's glorify the 'wisdom' of men"...or maybe it was just the prof?

And, Hannah, if you have so much resolution you're willing to sit through philosophy classes again, I admire you!!
You can, through God's grace, accomplish anything in His will! ♥