I'm just so tired

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arwen83

Guest
#1
#1
I'm not sure if this should be in this forum, I feel that its beyond prayer right now. I need to vent. I am an intuitive perceptive person. I'm analytical and am able to make connections with behavior and feelings. While this can be a good thing, it is also a burden. I'm in a family filled with unbelievers and cynics. There is a lot of anger and resentment, especially my big brother, and I don't know where it comes from. But a lot of it stems from insecurities. I can see this in my father and my two brothers. Insults are thrown around constantly. I really feel like an outsider, a weekend around my family gets me emotionally exhausted and usually am up late (like tonight), angry and crying silently, thinking about how toxic this environment is. And how much I want to leave. Being this outsider, I'm looked on a prudish I guess, for being a Christian. My little brother has been getting interested in conspiracy theories, the illuminati and constantly posting stuff about pot on his Facebook.

What I am getting to: because I can see passed these insecurities, see the hurt there, I feel helpless to do anything about it. Because I cannot. Whatever I say is taken to be prudish. So here I am, trapped, knowing this information, trying to cater to each insecurity to build them up. But I am so very tired, of having to. Seeing this potential in them, seeing hope that things may change. That they could move past their insecurities, cynicism and hate and feel joy and at peace. I hope in things that appear to hopeless. And I am so very tired of carrying this information about them, of caring, of trying to foster change, of hoping in something that is hopeless. I'm tired of carrying, for once in my life, I want to be the one carried.

I know I will get replies on here that there is always hope with God, and pray and whatever. I've done that. Other people have prayed. And I really don't want to hear it again... it seems the more I do pray, the more I feel this deep hurt when nothing changes. The more it feels hopeless.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#2
#2
arwen83 said:

I feel helpless to do anything about it. Because I cannot.
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Dear heart,
In this you are right.

I think you are carrying a burden you were never meant to bear, dear child. ♥
I know what it's like to walk into a room, and just feel what everyone else is feeling.
It's overwhelming. It's exhausting.

It is a gift from the Lord, to be used by HIM, in His power and strength.
And when we submit it to God, it can be a mighty tool for Him to use.
But if we don't do that, we wind up feeling as you do now,
and believe me, I have done this a thousand times. :rolleyes:

I urge you to drop this burden at the foot of the cross of Christ,
and walk away. Just leave it there...it's okay! :)
Our families are often the very people we most wish to minister to,
and the very people who can't 'hear' us.
This responsibility you're feeling is God's responsibility,
and He is well able to care for it, and to carry it, beloved of your Father. ♥
You are not equipped for this, or you wouldn't be feeling the way you do.
This is NOT condemnation, sweet life, not at all.
The Lord will gladly use this gift He's given you, to see into the hearts of others,
but not by your might, or through your own power, but by His Spirit.
You will know when to use it, and it will flow naturally, and not be burdensome. :)

It's okay to spend time with them when the Lord gives you grace to do so,
and to just be there, and not feel responsible for thing one.
AND it's okay to not spend time with them for a while,
and just rest at the feet of Jesus, and be refreshed.
It's okay to not look at your brother's FB page.
It's okay to entrust your family to God, and not think about them sometimes.
God wants to take care of you, too, Arwen. :)

Of course you're feeling tired, my love. :(
Take the liberty you have in Jesus and just r-e-s-t. :)
You may safely believe that if He calls you to act for your family,
He will let you know in no uncertain terms.

YOU are in my prayers, dear child.
love,
ellie
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#3
#3
Is there a reason you can't get out? You need to get secure about who you are in Christ, irrespective of all the spiritual noise around you. That would be best handled living away from all of this. I'm praying that you get the opportunity to leave, whatever that may mean financially, personally, whatever.
 
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Indubitably

Guest
#4
#4
I'm tired of carrying, for once in my life, I want to be the one carried.
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I'm reminded of the piece, Footprints in the sand because it applies here.

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

I know you are hurting and don't want to hear a lot of the same old encouragement stuff, but if we cannot encourage you to seek God and assure you that He is faithful, what else can we say or do? I will pray for you for a breakthrough in this matter in your life.
 
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shekaniah

Guest
#5
#5
Prayers sent in the love of Jesus!
I have felt out of place before,
Now I just focus on who Jesus says I am...
And let him love me through others.
Smile it always makes you fit in anywhere!
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah
 
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arwen83

Guest
#6
#6
kenisyes said:
Is there a reason you can't get out? You need to get secure about who you are in Christ, irrespective of all the spiritual noise around you. That would be best handled living away from all of this. I'm praying that you get the opportunity to leave, whatever that may mean financially, personally, whatever.
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Oh I don't live with my parents. I'm just staying with them during the christmas holidays while my dorm is closed. Due to some issues with my big brother and his girlfriend, he is now living with my parents. But normally, I do not see him or communicate with him except for family gatherings. Thank you for your replies. And I will be thinking a lot about your posts.
 
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HeavenlyWarrior

Banned
#7
Oct 27, 2012
300
5
0
#7
arwen83 said:
I'm not sure if this should be in this forum, I feel that its beyond prayer right now. I need to vent. I am an intuitive perceptive person. I'm analytical and am able to make connections with behavior and feelings. While this can be a good thing, it is also a burden. I'm in a family filled with unbelievers and cynics. There is a lot of anger and resentment, especially my big brother, and I don't know where it comes from. But a lot of it stems from insecurities. I can see this in my father and my two brothers. Insults are thrown around constantly. I really feel like an outsider, a weekend around my family gets me emotionally exhausted and usually am up late (like tonight), angry and crying silently, thinking about how toxic this environment is. And how much I want to leave. Being this outsider, I'm looked on a prudish I guess, for being a Christian. My little brother has been getting interested in conspiracy theories, the illuminati and constantly posting stuff about pot on his Facebook.

What I am getting to: because I can see passed these insecurities, see the hurt there, I feel helpless to do anything about it. Because I cannot. Whatever I say is taken to be prudish. So here I am, trapped, knowing this information, trying to cater to each insecurity to build them up. But I am so very tired, of having to. Seeing this potential in them, seeing hope that things may change. That they could move past their insecurities, cynicism and hate and feel joy and at peace. I hope in things that appear to hopeless. And I am so very tired of carrying this information about them, of caring, of trying to foster change, of hoping in something that is hopeless. I'm tired of carrying, for once in my life, I want to be the one carried.

I know I will get replies on here that there is always hope with God, and pray and whatever. I've done that. Other people have prayed. And I really don't want to hear it again... it seems the more I do pray, the more I feel this deep hurt when nothing changes. The more it feels hopeless.
Click to expand...
I am truly sorry to learn that you feel that way about God but unfortunately, if you have given up on God then how can you honestly expect for Him to help you? Because you have posted on an open forum we can say that that appears to be your problem in what you are saying. That is, unfortunately, that you are giving up on God therefore apparently you don't feel that God can help you any further. If you do not believe or have hope in God anymore, unfortunately, you will find none. If you don't want to pray anymore, then God will not listen to your plea. Rekindle your Faith and Hope in God as there is no other way! He is still there for you and will always be as long as you do not abandon Him. But for those who do abandon God and their hope in Him they cannot find themselves anywhere else but likewise abandoned and lost.

You need to reconsider your stance in all of this and realize that many times we have to pray for as long as we need to so that God truly knows that we are sincere in our purpose and intent to Trust and Believe in Him. And the reason some prayers are not answered immediately and we see the need to continue praying for a longer period of time is that there is a greater dis-association from God. Thus, God wants to make sure that we become ever closer to Him and that starts with prayer which is Direct Communication with God. We simply cannot let the devil take over and discourage us from praying and feeling that there is no hope left in God, and that we are tired of praying and getting nowhere. Know that the more you pray the more God hears you and blesses you even though your eyes may not see it in the physical sense! But if you stop praying and lose your faith, then what do you have? Absolutely Nothing. Please do think about that because it is very important to see things in their proper perspective.
 
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liz247

Guest
#8
#8
I always like to say at the end of praying ' I give these people or this thing into your hands God for You to look after and take care of. Thankyou for taking care of all these things.' Just a suggestion.
 
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camragirl73

Guest
#9
#9
Well I came back to God about 4 years ago and my boyfriend I have 2 kids with I have been with him 20 years my sons are 17 and 19
Well he is not a beliver and I know just how you fell it brings me down in my walk.But u know what my pastor said the other day that helped,
the man came to jesus about his dying daughter he said just belive.So pray and leave it alone JUST BELIVE
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#10
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#10
Praying for you and your family in Jesus Christ is Lord.
Remeber, you cannot change anything, only God can.
It is not for you to carry this burden, but to trust in Jesus who carries it for you.
When the thoughts of how tired come to mind, praise God , saying thankyou Lord Jesus for being my streangth.

Satan tries to defeat one by taking our streangth, that is why we need to look to Jesus for our streangth. :)

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
S

shekaniah

Guest
#11
#11
Just letting you know I said a prayer for you today!
Here are a few good verses that has helped me many times.
Prayer is so important for our daily walk, claim the word in your life!

Isaiah 54:17
no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD.

Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

2 Cor 4:18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
 
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