i dont want to live anymore

i'm not gonna kill myself, but i acted like such a fool yesterday i can't see God ever using me for any good purpose.
I made the mistake of getting drunk and called a very dear friend of mine awful names. Very awful. I've apologized, but since I cant actually go back and time and prevent myself from drinking and saying those things, i know i've lost a good friend.
I've sinned against God and I can't live with myself. I am never getting drunk again.
I wish this friend knew how much I want to take what I said back. And they won't. I have said horrible things before, but not this bad.
I am an awful person. And I dont see myself getting over this any time soon.
Please pray for me.

I vey rarely drink alcohol anymore and when I do only very little, I had similar bad experiences when I was younger and when I think back to them I feel ashamed all over again, it really brought out the worst in me and surpressed everything else, it was a horrible way to feel.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope that maybe your friendship might be saved, if you were drunk your friend might be able to forgive you after a little time goes by, here's hoping, I know how hard it can be to make friends.

You know what? We all make stupid mistakes, but that doesn't mean that we can't learn from them. Beating yourself up about it is going to make you depressed so aknowledge the mistake and move on. God forgave ALL sin not some.

What you may need to do is sit down with your friend and have a talk about it. If they dont agree to see you then pray for them to have a forgiving heart.
Friendships have a funny way of coming back. My best friend of 15 years hurt me deeply and chose to believe lies about me. She abandoned me when I needed her most and became malicious. I was devistated and I thought I'd never forgive her. But one day she came back to me and appologized. It was so sincere that I couldn't stay mad at her, plus I missed her deeply. God restored my friendship with my best friend so I dont see why He wouldn't do the same for you.

Keep the faith, GOD is a GOD of miricles, he can do ANYTHING. Surrender it to him and pray he heals all wounded by the actions. In his time, but it can happen. He is listening...

The I don't want to live anymore was probably the hangover talking.
Thanks everyone! I really appreciate it! I feel tons better.I'm still sad that I can't take my friend's pain away as fast as i created it.

Amen!! Could not have said it better myself. (In reference to what Grace said.)

I am so happy that you are feeling better! You are only 25 and you will make many more mistakes that you will need to have the forgiveness of God for, all through your life like I do! I am older but realize we make mistakes every single day of our life. The fact that you were unhappy about what you did proves that you have a conscience that is not unrepentant. Jesus bless you.

I still keep you in my prayers. Remember God said that it is in our weakness that he is glorified. He will lift you up. God bless, pickles

Thanks pickles, I really appreciate it. Sometimes I don't feel strong enough in my faith.

You know thats why even though we are faithless He is faithful. Hebrews says we have a priest who can sympathize with us on everything. I mean look at what happened to Him on the Cross. Jesus being the only man ever on this earth to ever truly be alone when He went on the cross to take on the wrath of himself, well you can use your imagination on that one =). Just know even though we come to him beaten, dirty, and unworthy He still picks us up out of the mud and cleans us off and brings us to him. =)

You know I have been dealing with shame myself. The first thing you need to do is to ask for God's forgiveness. He knew all the sins and mistakes you would make in your life and even so He loves you unconditionally. His love for you is not based on your actions. There is nothing you can do to make Him love you less and there's nothing you can do to make Him love you more. You are no surprise to God. While we should repent of our sins, we should not let sin drag our lives. Don't allow satan to use this opportunity to make a gap between you and your relationship with God. God's desire is for you to have an imtimate relationship with you. Sweetie, we understand what you are going through and you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers and I will pray that your friend's heart may be soften. God bless you.