i am so lost and so sad and so unsettled.

i dont know if i believe. i grew up being told to believe. it didnt work.

i feel this is a final resort to find some peace. to find some answers. i would appreciate your prayers. and advice.

i am in a tricky relationship. i fell pregnant at 17 to a 24 yr old. I kept the baby and we tried to make it work. My family bought us a house and we tried to settle into family life.

My partner is very sick, and has been for years, log before i met him. He has depersonalization disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and severe anxiety. He doesnt connect with me emotionally at all. He is always in his own world, lost in his thoughts.

after giving birth is when i discovered all of this (call me ignorant but i hadnt picked up on it, mind you i got pregnant only 2 months after meeting him) i found out he had tried to commit suicide, had been admited twice to an instituition and was severely mentally sick.

i want to do the right thing. i want to make us work as a family. my mum keeps telling me to ask god. But what would he want? wouldn't he want us to stay together? for our son? or does he want me to find happiness. i am not happy. i am emotionally spent.

i am only 21 years old. i feel to young to stay with someone just because of circumstance. If it wasnt for our son, we would've ended this years ago. We have both said this to each other.

Apart of my partners illness is that he never grew up. he spent vital years (late teens, early twenties) in his room, detatched from the world. He can be childish. Emotionally abusive. Aggressive.

I am no saint. There is a whole lot i have done wrong.

We had planned to get married. Two years ago in fact. but neither of us could bring ourselves to go through with it. It had been cancelled twice.

Now he is threatening to take my son away (whether he has any legal right, i dont know)

i would be lost without my son, he is my LIFE

i need some guidance, i dont know what is the right decision.

i know you cant tell me what to do, but i would appreciated your prayers and please, your advice. at 21 i am dealing with so much more than i should be.

i need help. i need to be saved.

FYI: i am a very well education person, who lives in a beautiful home we are paying off, in a very nice area with strong morals. Neither of us are abusive, addictied to any drugs or involved in crime. i am just stuck. and alone. I tell you this becuase many people get the wrong idea of "teenage pregnancy" and its outcome. In general, given the circumstance we did make a good life for ourselves (financially, materialistically) as materialistic things go, we want for nothing...

I think you are right that ideally the child should grow up with both of his biological parents. However, as you have discovered, real life is often far from ideal and the right course of action can be difficult to even see, let alone carry out.

I won't pretend to know the answer, but you are in my prayers.

Our choices sometimes produce very difficult circumstances in our lives. There are times when we sincerely believe that the love of a partner is all that we need, but we are then faced with the cold reality that they cannot fill the emptiness we feel inside. I am sure that your child loves both of you very much and you have not eluded to any dangers which would present a risk to your child’s welfare.

Beginning a relationship with God, through Christ Jesus, is very simple. If you desire to give your life to Christ, allowing Him to take control, accepting Him into your heart, you can do that at any time. If you’re unsure about what to pray, be open, be honest and sincere. There is no perfect prayer or method, but I will suggest one way of praying, as you begin your new relationship with Christ.

Pray “ Jesus, I believe that you love me, and that you died for me. I believe that God raised you from the dead. I want to be saved, and I confess that I need you in my life to be my Lord and my Savior. I ask that you would forgive me for all of my sins, and I ask you to come into my heart and to save my soul and fill me with your Holy Spirit.

I renounce all of my sins, and I renounce satan. Jesus, I believe that you are now my Lord and my Savior. Thank you for saving me.

Now, when you pray, begin to pray to the Father, as Jesus did. Don’t worry about being religious, or using special christian words, be sincere. The way has been opened for you because you have accepted God’s son and repented of your sins. Your life will not be perfect, but you have received the free gift of His righteousness, His grace and His salvation. God will never leave you or abandon you.

Find a loving church that teaches the truth. Avoid ceremonial and ritualistic churches. Ask the Father to help you to find a church, (if you don’t have one). Begin to read the bible. Find a translation that is easy for you to understand and read one of the gospels like Matthew or John, (the words and the story of the Savior . I read the New International Version (NIV). Begin to allow the Holy Spirit to show you who Jesus is, and what he expects from you. Ask the Father what you should do about your relationship. He will answer you by His Holy Spirit and you will know, in your heart, what to do. Your faith will rescue you.

God will begin to change your character, He will change you from the inside out. Simply surrender to His leading and don't allow your circumstances to distract you. God will help you.

I have never dealt with a person with mental problems before so I can't offer any advice there but I will keep you in my thoughts, the only thing I can say is you probably do not need to worry about your son being taken away from you, considering what you have said about your husbands medical history he would likely struggle to mount any serious legal challenge to remove him from your care.

I think you should check your local area for support groups relating to dealing with mental illness, it may give you some insight into how to cope and maybe you should go together, if you do choose to remain together for whatever reason it might help you both to find a new balance that makes it easier to cope with his problems and allows him to engage more with family life.
At the very least it might help to make clear what will be required long term to make the relationship stable and once you know that it will be easier for you to decide if it is something you can do.

I am so sorry you have to face this in your life. This is a desision you must make yourself. Only you can say what is best for yourself ,child and the father of your child. I wish I could help you some how. I will keep you and all in my prayers as long as you need.
Hugs and God bless, pickles

My heart goes out to you. You are right to question whether you believe or not, that is a good sign. I had my son when I was 20 so I can relate a little though all the complications surrounding you are far above what I went through at your age. If you feel your life is too hard and the burdens are too much then maybe these words from our Lord might be of help;
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

life is harder than I ever imagined and obviously you feel the same. But God can turn those burdens into blessings. When life became too much for me I broke down before God and cried to Him to please have mercy on me, I acknowledged I was a sinner and I surrendered to Him completely. My life from the inside out is transformed today a little over a year later. He came to save us out of this hard tough life we live. People with easy lives can sometimes take life for granted, but people like you can't and that's an amazing gift in itself. This life without God is too hard and too complicated, God can set your life the way He created it to be. And I promise as someone who is living with Him in my life, I can't believe how much of an amazing impact God has on my life, I didn't expect so much. I hope this helps, God loves His children, and it is my understanding and belief that children don't need to accept their Father into their hearts, like the prodical son/daughter you can come to God having been in the world without Him and felt the heavy burdens that the world lays on you and acknowledge that you have sinned against Him (as we all have) and are unworthy but ask for mercy and forgivness.

11 And he said, "There was a man who had two sons.
12 And the younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.' And he divided his property between them.
13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living.
14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need.
15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs.
16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 "But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger!
18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.
19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants."'
20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
21 And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22 But the father said to his servants, 'Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet.
23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.
24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' And they began to celebrate.

A great life awaits everyone who trusts in Jesus Christ but trust Him fully. May God bless the broken heart that searches for Him.