I dont know what to do anymore...

Im not sure what to do anymore. I cant seem to turn away from my old ways, I was doing good for a few months, but no matter what i do, I keep getting pulled back into this cycle. Before anyone asks, I really dont wanna get into any details. It feels like there is 2 sides of me, the side that wants to live 100% for God, and the side that doesn't want to let go of the man ive been for the last 8 years... There is one song that comes to mind, 'Alter and the Door - Casting Crowns'. That sums up my life to a T. When im at church, i dont know how ive been living the way ive been living. It seems so stupid that i put these stupid sins between me and God, but as soon as i leave, its like the other side of me takes over and theres nothing i can do about it. Ive gotten to the point where i feel emotionally numb inside, i think every time i sin it takes a little part of me. I dont even know if i truely feel 'Sorry' about it, or if im just going through the motions when i ask for forgiveness. I want to be on fire for God, but i dont know how he can still love me after ive broken promise after promise after promise. My prayers to God feel empty, sometimes i dont think he even listens to me anymore. Sorry for rambling, im just not sure what to do.

I'm sure he is listening to you, I'll be praying for you though.

shawny man, to a degree i can relate to you. it sucks man. it sucks. i'm not gonna water it down. it hurts--or rather, the sin doesn't. If i'm getting you, you and i are in the same boat: it's like the flesh is just like well let's get down to business and the spirit is like "..." Man I've been struggling with stuff too like that. It feels like things are never gonna change.

Blue is right though "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20
1 Corinthians 1:9
God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (This one is one of my favorite; it's pretty much my life story")
I Thessalonians 5:23-24
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. I John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.


You are my deliverer (Rom 11:26).
And so all Israel will be saved, as it is written: "The deliverer will come from Zion; he will turn godlessness away from Jacob.


You have made me an overcomer (1 Jn 5:4).
For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith

There is hope. We can claim true victory in christ. With God's help we can do it. He never stops loving. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39) Sin does separate us tho, but God can help us come back! Praise God!

hey ive been there and am still there and i know what ur going through cuz im going through it myself. i dont have any answers for u, cuz everything ive ever tried to do for doesnt seem to get me any where im lost and no matter how hard i try and no matter how much i want to start on the right path... i cant, there isnt an ounce of strength in me to fight against it, im praying for u though and i jope u find the answer

Stop being a pusdy and making excuses. -slaps you up tge side of tge head-
if you want to change finish reading this post take a deep breath them give yourself 100% to God. If that means being homeless, losing all your friends and family, then just freaking do it man. The alternitive is being someone you're ashamed of...... Oh and ****ation. It's a pretty hard answer but if you are stuck in routine you gotta change DRASTICLY, more importantly you gotta let zhum change you cuz you will jist keep doing what you want when you think you can get awdy with it.

He will provide everything you need, tge hardest bit will be being man enough to face down His plan for you and choose that over your own best intrests.

You wanna be on fire for God, prove it to him.
No more excuses.
I have to pray bro, I promised a lil girl, I'll pray for you aswell though.

Zhum is supOsef to read him. No one buy an iPhone. They suck

Well, welcome to reality, shawny_boy. I don't want to burst your bubble, but you aren't unique. You've just described every Christian that has ever lived. Read the writings of Paul in the new testament. He put it much the same way you did. He said, "What is this? I do the things that I don't want to do and I don't do the things I should do." This is paraphrased, of course, but read it for yourself. This is the warfare, and we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers of the air. The warfare takes place in our mind, between our flesh and our spirit. I can tell you for certain, however, that God has not rejected you. He loves you and understands you more than you understand yourself. Don't believe the lie that comes to your mind, that says you are not good enough...you have failed too many times...you have disappointed God too much...He's running out of patience with you...ect. ect. Because of Jesus, God no longer sees you. He sees you after looking at Jesus. And when he looks at Jesus, Jesus says, "I have paid the price." This is GRACE. It is getting what you don't deserve. It's a free gift. Nobody is without sin. We try, but our best efforts fall extremely short of righteousness before God. That's what is so cool about what Jesus did for us on the cross. Now, we can come boldly before the throne of God and pray and communicate even when we are not perfect. You are a child of the Most High God. You cannot do anything that would make Him love you less. You CAN do things in life that hurt other people and yourself. There are paths you can take that could do a lot of damage and sometimes these things are not reversible. Sin brings death. Make good choices because you will benefit from them, not because you'll loose your salvation. God wants you to have the life he created you for. A life that is beautiful, happy, productive, and peaceful. If you continue to make wrong choices, you will suffer greatly. That hurts the heart of God, but He doesn't reject you. I have three grown children. If one became an alcoholic, I wouldn't love him less. I wouldn't distance myself from him or cut him off. I would try to help him, and it might include "tough love." My heart would ache for him because I know the destruction it can bring to his life. So, run to God, seek deliverance from Him. He wants you to have a good life. He doesn't want to keep you from pleasure or happiness. It's the enemy that seeks to destroy us and make us unhappy. I'll be praying for you.

It sounds like you are trying to do all at once. Try taking smaller steps in faith. Pick one thing and in faith with the help of Jesus work on it. Sometimes we try to do it all and Jesus wants to heal all parts of you. So try what is refured to as baby steps and one at a time.
You are always in my prayers.
God bless, pickles

Thanks guys, your responses have been very helpful. I need to start reading the bible more, I haven't done that for awhile. Thanks for your prayers.

Stay away from temptations. It'll help.