lost

Ive been having turmoil in my family and my bestfriend and idk it ****ing feels like its to much ive been having suicidal thoughts and have been drinking and smoking and can't stop ****ing cussing idk im just I honeslty dont know I can't stop crying and I feel worse when I have suicidal thoughts cuz people have conquered worse and I'm feeling like a ***** for not being able to handle my situation which in turn makes me feel worse i dont ****ing know I really ****ing hate everything right now and in just so full of hate all I wanna do is yell and tell people off! Idk in just ****ing lost in everything right now!

hold on.
get help, government aid if you need it.. i do,
go to your community/county mental health facility-
get a psychiatrist,
get on meds,
get a counselor and a therapist.
and hang on tight, man.

you're not alone.
i'm going to an appointment tomorrow for help myself.
please hold on..
talk to someone, get help.

I really can't talk to nobody cuz I literally have nobody! All my family pushes me away when I have a problem and say your just being a ***** if your gonna kill yourself just do it already! And I kno I'm not going to cuz ive been down that road but its driving me crazy cuz its always on my mind!

that's terrible, i am really sorry - it's abuse, actually.
you need to try and talk seriously with a professional,
not just a family member or ordinary average person like a friend.

you need help- the kind they can't offer.
i'm not sure how old you are,
but your parents and friend(s) are failing you terribly.
i'm very pleased that you are reaching out-
keep reaching,
don't give up.
go to get some help for depression/mental health-
a psychiatrist that can diagnose you and prescribe medication,
and a counselor and therapist so you can turn your life around.
do whatever it takes..
apply for government help if you can't afford insurance.

reach out now.
if you're below 18 you need to tell someone that you need help because your parents are being abusive/neglectful,
if you are 18 they can't be held as accountable- so you need to seek professional help and a means to cover it.
go to your local community mental health center that is closest to you...
tell them you need guidance and direction,
they have to treat you even if you don't have the money to pay them directly at this time... and regardless of your age-
they will treat you.

first get seen,
and get help..
then figure out
a way to get help paying for it.

you can do this.
you must

Yeah I just turned 18 about a week ago and well its been like this my whole life feeling like this! But the thing about the mental hospital idk I feel like it would make me go crazier.

Life is hard really hard, and it takes a lot and I mean a lot of courage to say....hey I am not okay. So many people go through there day with smiles on their faces, and the next thing is you hear they committed suicide and we are so shocked because they looked fine.

The truth is nobody is fine, not one, that is why we need the Lord. We all process thing's on different levels, and some of us do not process thing's at all. I want to say to you that there is somewhere out there that wants to listen, and there is someone out there who wants to make a difference, if you don't take the first step in searching for the help then they loose the ability to give you the help. I hope this makes sense. You see the Lord has heard your prayer's, He knows your heart because He made it, your concern's are His concern's, and when we search we will always find.

God Bless

Father God, please bring people in to this young mans life to help him find rest, peace, joy and comfort in you. Lord, put within his heart all that is needed to turn his life around to you. Please give him strength and courage to face each day as they come. In Yeshua's Holy name I pray amen.

[h=3]Isaiah 41:10[/h]
[SUP]10 [/SUP] Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

praying you will be able to find the right avenues of help and for GOd to give wisdom to you and those around helping you

you don't have to go TO the mental hospital, to get treatment... just go in sober one day after you've rested... to the front desk of the place where people make appointments with the psychiatrist. they'll treat you like a normal person and you don't have to 'admit' yourself or be 'admitted.'

just make a one to one appointment w/ the doctor, on your terms... date and time. they will schedule for an ordinary, not stressful appointment. i don't think you have to actually go into the mental hospital to admit you need some assistance.

try it out. give 'em a call first.

if you do go, you'll only have to stay several days. then you're in the system... and they have to help you.
know what i mean.
i did it.

you kinda hafta 'man up,'
or 'woman up; ' in my case.
it's taking a slice of humble pie,
but it can be worth it if it means your life.

and press in to Jesus.
He's real, and he's there. Here