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Ok. I'm back. More messed up than ever. The pain doesn't go away. The hurt doesn't go away. The self loathing is at such an incredible level. I pray for help. I pray for understanding. I pray for escape. It's crazy that I was able (with God's help) to make myself better physically, but mentally...

Not sure if this is the right place for this. I don't know if I need encouragement, prayers, sympathy or vindication. My shame, embarrassment, and humiliation of my past prevent me from wanting to go on. I'm losing this battle. I can't measure up to anyone. Half the time I pray for happiness...

Hello all. Been snifin around this site for a while. Figured I'd officially check in. I like this place. Seems like a lot of good people here. I've been a Christian my whole life - except for the 12 hours I disavowed Him. Boy, did He kick my a$$ seven ways to next Thursday over that. I...