M
I was not brought-up as a Christian although my mother was and I believe on my mother’s side there is possibly a Christian history of sorts. I didn’t consider ours a Christian family in any way though and apart from a bout of Sunday school and basic Religious Education at school (which confused me more than educated me!) there was little consideration into the possibility of God. I would go from an RE class to a History class and to me they contradicted one another. The meaning of basic Bible stories was never explained and as a result of all this confusion I messed about in class and deliberately poked fun at the teaching during RE lessons. I was forced against my will into taking CSE (as it was then) in RE but it was my weakest subject and the only one in which I didn’t even get a pass. Therefore I cannot overstate God’s hand in bringing about a complete turnaround which would begin in the most unlikely way.
Back in 2009 when my husband Steve bought me a parrot for a “significant” birthday (I’d always wanted a parrot) I decided to join a forum to learn how to properly care for him. As is usual with forums I became quite friendly with a handful of people there and so when I felt I’d learned enough from the forum and left I added a few of these people to my list of friends on facebook. Strangely enough I don’t remember having had much to say to this one guy – Jack, on the forum but he somehow turned up amongst my friends on facebook so just which one of us added the other I’m not sure. It soon became very apparent that Jack was a Christian by the kind of stuff coming up on my newsfeed. I remember saying very little to him until November 2012 when a picture he had posted came up on my newsfeed which upset me, so much so that I was drawn to message him privately to tell him. He replied to my message stating his reasons as a Christian for posting it. We began to casually exchange opinions on the subject matter which gradually led to our thoughts on God. I told him I had no idea if God was real or not. Eventually our conversation led to my questions and his answers - all done via the private messaging facility on facebook. I remember being impressed that he wasn’t afraid to tackle any of my questions, welcoming them – even the ones about science and the bible. He came across as a “deep rooted Christian” and I was a little concerned that he might be into some kind of religious cult or something and so I checked-out his wall and his “about” section and private photographs. As it turns out his job is to teach within a large evangelical church in the US and he is seasoned and accomplished in apologetics – in fact God could not have found me a better teacher. Jack also seemed to have a perfectly normal life and family. As we were both off work during the Christmas/New Year break we began talking more in depth some days almost all of the day and night too. He encouraged me to read the bible and to pray but I couldn’t pray, it seemed totally alien to me, I had never prayed and didn’t really know how! On New Year’s Day I heard awful news about a 16yr old boy who had been missing after having jumped from a local ferry the previous night. It seemed obvious by now that the young man had been lost to the sea but I remember it being bitterly cold at the time and having a son around the same age I was drawn to pray, I knew I had nothing to lose even if there was no God. Addressing Him as “Lord” I asked Him to ensure the boy would be found even if he had already been taken by the sea, it couldn’t have been more than a dozen words. I remember feeling a little different at that time though I didn’t quite know how. The next day (2[SUP]nd[/SUP] Jan) was my first day back at work after the Christmas break and I remember waking up and immediately knowing I had found God, feeling emotional and both my heart and my head had filled up. I could think of nothing but Him whom I had at last found, I remember describing it as like “being hit by a train”. For that first week or so I was unable to function at the implications of what (or who) I had found; how I would tell those closest to me and what their reactions would be. I couldn’t eat or sleep because of the enormity of it and I remember worrying about how I would manage to concentrate at work and even manage to drive the car safely with my head in the clouds. I couldn’t stop grinning at work (there were lots of suggestions as to the reasons for this from my work colleagues!) and I remember being in a state of excitement telling Jack what had happened and he encouraged me to ask Jesus to be my Lord and saviour and to speak it in prayer – I think it took another week or so for me to do that - I had to get my head around it first!
It took a whole 2 weeks for me to tell Steve but eventually I had to tell him as I was planning on going to church that Sunday, he found it hard to understand at first and it was months before my family found out – quite by accident actually. One Sunday Mum phoned the house wanting to speak to me; Steve told her I was at church, mum was stumped, she said “church? Church? Julie?” and Steve said “yes” to which mum replied “haha you mean she’s at HER church – Asda!” That was how my family learned I had found God.
It has taken a year for all of my work colleagues to become aware I’m a Christian but I’m no longer shy about it. It’s been a long journey but God has been patient with me, He knows my weaknesses.
During the 1990’s, although I was a long way from God, somehow, somewhere deep down inside I knew that the way I was living my life was fundamentally wrong. I also couldn’t bring myself to read books my eldest son encouraged me to read – such as the De Vinci Code and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. I also knew that everything seemed to happen for reasons which would be understood at a later time. Despite all this, by the time my talks with Jack began I had a failed marriage behind me and life was less than perfect. I had become cynical, sceptical, disillusioned and was seemingly heading nowhere. I was difficult to live with, had a short fuse and was bitter because of what life had thrown at me - I was generally not nice to be around. Forgiveness was something I didn’t have in my heart. Looking back though it seems my whole life has been a prequel to this, the way things happened, it’s like God was weaving everything into place for that perfect moment when I would find Him and I realise now that there were times previously in my life where God had been calling me. The first was in 1982 when my first son was born. I had an overwhelming need to give thanks for him; the depth of those feelings took me totally by surprise. I knew that my thanks should be directed towards the God of the Bible – our God. Six weeks later we had our son christened in an Anglican church and I decided that I had done my bit to thank God. I believe that God is now pursuing this son. 15 years later in 1997 when Diana, Princess of Wales died, again I felt a real need to go to church to ask God “why?” He had taken her. I also had a need to be comforted; I ignored this need telling myself I was too busy with a new baby to go to church. So it was in late in 2012 when I finally began to get answers to my questions about God and began to understand that He just might be real. Again it was 15 years since the last “calling” in 1997 (it was 2013 when I finally found Him) so it seems that for me He works in 15year intervals.
Things have turned around for me now; God brought gifts when He came into my life. Joy was something I knew nothing about – happiness yes but joy? No, joy is on another level. He also brought meaning and purpose into my life, also love, peace and contentment – utter contentment, which comes with the knowledge that whatever life throws at me God has my back – that is a good feeling.
I do sometimes wonder why such a great & powerful God – the creator of everything would pursue someone like me but since coming to know Him I realise that He loves each and every one of us from the greatest to the very least. God is amazing!
Back in 2009 when my husband Steve bought me a parrot for a “significant” birthday (I’d always wanted a parrot) I decided to join a forum to learn how to properly care for him. As is usual with forums I became quite friendly with a handful of people there and so when I felt I’d learned enough from the forum and left I added a few of these people to my list of friends on facebook. Strangely enough I don’t remember having had much to say to this one guy – Jack, on the forum but he somehow turned up amongst my friends on facebook so just which one of us added the other I’m not sure. It soon became very apparent that Jack was a Christian by the kind of stuff coming up on my newsfeed. I remember saying very little to him until November 2012 when a picture he had posted came up on my newsfeed which upset me, so much so that I was drawn to message him privately to tell him. He replied to my message stating his reasons as a Christian for posting it. We began to casually exchange opinions on the subject matter which gradually led to our thoughts on God. I told him I had no idea if God was real or not. Eventually our conversation led to my questions and his answers - all done via the private messaging facility on facebook. I remember being impressed that he wasn’t afraid to tackle any of my questions, welcoming them – even the ones about science and the bible. He came across as a “deep rooted Christian” and I was a little concerned that he might be into some kind of religious cult or something and so I checked-out his wall and his “about” section and private photographs. As it turns out his job is to teach within a large evangelical church in the US and he is seasoned and accomplished in apologetics – in fact God could not have found me a better teacher. Jack also seemed to have a perfectly normal life and family. As we were both off work during the Christmas/New Year break we began talking more in depth some days almost all of the day and night too. He encouraged me to read the bible and to pray but I couldn’t pray, it seemed totally alien to me, I had never prayed and didn’t really know how! On New Year’s Day I heard awful news about a 16yr old boy who had been missing after having jumped from a local ferry the previous night. It seemed obvious by now that the young man had been lost to the sea but I remember it being bitterly cold at the time and having a son around the same age I was drawn to pray, I knew I had nothing to lose even if there was no God. Addressing Him as “Lord” I asked Him to ensure the boy would be found even if he had already been taken by the sea, it couldn’t have been more than a dozen words. I remember feeling a little different at that time though I didn’t quite know how. The next day (2[SUP]nd[/SUP] Jan) was my first day back at work after the Christmas break and I remember waking up and immediately knowing I had found God, feeling emotional and both my heart and my head had filled up. I could think of nothing but Him whom I had at last found, I remember describing it as like “being hit by a train”. For that first week or so I was unable to function at the implications of what (or who) I had found; how I would tell those closest to me and what their reactions would be. I couldn’t eat or sleep because of the enormity of it and I remember worrying about how I would manage to concentrate at work and even manage to drive the car safely with my head in the clouds. I couldn’t stop grinning at work (there were lots of suggestions as to the reasons for this from my work colleagues!) and I remember being in a state of excitement telling Jack what had happened and he encouraged me to ask Jesus to be my Lord and saviour and to speak it in prayer – I think it took another week or so for me to do that - I had to get my head around it first!
It took a whole 2 weeks for me to tell Steve but eventually I had to tell him as I was planning on going to church that Sunday, he found it hard to understand at first and it was months before my family found out – quite by accident actually. One Sunday Mum phoned the house wanting to speak to me; Steve told her I was at church, mum was stumped, she said “church? Church? Julie?” and Steve said “yes” to which mum replied “haha you mean she’s at HER church – Asda!” That was how my family learned I had found God.
It has taken a year for all of my work colleagues to become aware I’m a Christian but I’m no longer shy about it. It’s been a long journey but God has been patient with me, He knows my weaknesses.
During the 1990’s, although I was a long way from God, somehow, somewhere deep down inside I knew that the way I was living my life was fundamentally wrong. I also couldn’t bring myself to read books my eldest son encouraged me to read – such as the De Vinci Code and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. I also knew that everything seemed to happen for reasons which would be understood at a later time. Despite all this, by the time my talks with Jack began I had a failed marriage behind me and life was less than perfect. I had become cynical, sceptical, disillusioned and was seemingly heading nowhere. I was difficult to live with, had a short fuse and was bitter because of what life had thrown at me - I was generally not nice to be around. Forgiveness was something I didn’t have in my heart. Looking back though it seems my whole life has been a prequel to this, the way things happened, it’s like God was weaving everything into place for that perfect moment when I would find Him and I realise now that there were times previously in my life where God had been calling me. The first was in 1982 when my first son was born. I had an overwhelming need to give thanks for him; the depth of those feelings took me totally by surprise. I knew that my thanks should be directed towards the God of the Bible – our God. Six weeks later we had our son christened in an Anglican church and I decided that I had done my bit to thank God. I believe that God is now pursuing this son. 15 years later in 1997 when Diana, Princess of Wales died, again I felt a real need to go to church to ask God “why?” He had taken her. I also had a need to be comforted; I ignored this need telling myself I was too busy with a new baby to go to church. So it was in late in 2012 when I finally began to get answers to my questions about God and began to understand that He just might be real. Again it was 15 years since the last “calling” in 1997 (it was 2013 when I finally found Him) so it seems that for me He works in 15year intervals.
Things have turned around for me now; God brought gifts when He came into my life. Joy was something I knew nothing about – happiness yes but joy? No, joy is on another level. He also brought meaning and purpose into my life, also love, peace and contentment – utter contentment, which comes with the knowledge that whatever life throws at me God has my back – that is a good feeling.
I do sometimes wonder why such a great & powerful God – the creator of everything would pursue someone like me but since coming to know Him I realise that He loves each and every one of us from the greatest to the very least. God is amazing!
