IN A DARK PLACE..

I've been in a similar place before. I wanted to ask Christ into my heart for a long time before I did, and do you know what stopped me? I thought exactly what you're thinking,

"I'm not worthy of His love.. I've done too many awful things."

Let me assure you something though, you've never done anything that God cannot forgive if you ask for forgiveness. He loves you. He died for you. You're a child of God and you are FORGIVEN of all those things you have done! Stop holding them over your own head, He doesn't. Believe me, holding on to the past makes it very hard to look at the present and future.

Spend as much time as possible reading the Word, praising Him, and praying. It will give you little to no time to feel that emptiness and depression.

You are LOVED.

I will be praying for you.

You sound like you need to renew your mind... Can you commit to reading 2 random Psalms per day, before sleep? God used them to heal me. I know what hopelessness tastes like. But we do not "earn" His love with our actions...
Remember, the "many horrible things" you've done (and we all did, sweetie, it is just that people dont know what's going on in others' hearts) just create more space within you for thanksgiving and praise of God. You do understand that this is a blessing?

Luke 7
41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.
45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.
47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.
49 And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?
50 And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.

I've been there. And I can tell you, just as the Bible says, "In a multitude of counselors there is safety." [Proverbs 11:14]
And "Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with abundant advisers they are established." [Proverbs 15:22]

Dear Sister Peacebestill, have you sought counseling? It is one thing to get encouragement and prayer on this site. But I advise you to phone around for counselors to help you through this time and get you established where you are not suffering continually.

God's Word advises you to seek counsel. There is nothing wrong with it. I have sought counsel from the time I was your age until last year. I love to sit with godly people and discuss issues and get guidance where I need it. And I have had people (including pastors, pastor's wives, young & old people) come to me for counsel as well. Everyone needs counseling throughout their life.

Father, lead our sister to the people who can best help her sort out her thoughts and work through her painful issues. Help Peacebestill accept that You love her and died for whatever things she is being tormented with. Those sins are gone because of the Blood of Jesus Christ. Help her see that. I pray Holy Spirit you touch her mind and bring light that dispels her darkness. I ask this in Jesus' name. Thank You for hearing our prayers always. You are faithful.

This year has been the most horrific experience I've never thought was possible. Each day that I wake up I am so grateful and astonished of how strong I am to keep going on with life. I was very close to reaching a scary breaking point.. &I am still holding on.. however, I truly believe that there is a higher power greater than my struggles, my weaknesses, my fears and doubts.. The hard put is trusting that God will deliver me. I just need that reassurance that what I'm going threw will only be a testimony for someone else, & though it seems like it's a never ending test. It can only make me stronger in my faith. I just really want this to be over.


I've been posting on here frequently, I know, but let me tell you, it is not because I'm seeking attention.. NO it's because I'm crying out for help, any help.. It's better to post how you feel to a bunch of random individuals than to hold in all in and damage yourself. I'm putting my thoughts, my fears, my worries out there for someone to pray for me. I'm not ashamed to ask for help or prayer. I'm in a very, very dark place.. I rather type it on here then tell someone who doesn't understand. I'm ALONE & I feel unloved within myself right now. I'm calling on Jesus, but maybe Jesus doesn't love me either; you maybe wondering why I said that, well.. I've done SO MANY horrible things in my past, that sometimes I think.. how could Jesus love me? I'm not worthy.. if I am not worthy of Jesus love, then who on earth will love me? Smh. I do not know how I got here, never would of imagine my life becoming so dark and filled with hopelessness in my mind. That's the worse part.. is to feel hopeless in your mind.

I knew God love me..His Spirit made it real to me...but I kept looking for a reason? Was there some value I could find in myself that would deserve His love for me? I could find nothing...then it dawned on me what He wanted me to see? That my value and worth cannot come from myself but my value and worth comes because He loves me. The Lord said that those who are forgiven much loves much..that its easier for the harlot to enter into His Kingdom than the self-righteous? For those of us who can see that of ourselves we are nothing that we must have Gods grace and mercy, we must have our worth come from God...the kingdom of God is ours

counseling? CRAZY!
TEACHER ONE!
LOVE ONE!
FETCH!
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

So do you think it will not be best to see a counselor?

the only thing is love! if you think you find it there, i can't tell you different ;p
i'm happy you're here, ok. hang in there. love
it was like you said hello just after i wrote just before now. i was indifferent from fatigue or so, then got worried...
do! try! live! love!
<3

Yeah, I'm ok. but Barely. Thank you for checking on me. You're right Love can save but at this point I am so lost I don't know what to do.

Based on your post I cant really comment on if you should talk to a counselor or someone in that field as I'm not completely sure what's going on. If you feel depressed, it may be best to talk to a professional. Best of luck here.

possibly High One is honest with you, feeling unloved. whilst you're well Saved..
i seemed to receive apology-thing recently, also - confirmation High did not intend for bad times.
gotta keep on moving. Be His Active LoveBody Church