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This is my testimony friends. You will find some flaws in here. Flaws like the mentioning of our "Holy Spirits" and not capatalizing words like Lord and Him when referring to the creator. I left them in there for recognition and understanding that a new Christian has so much to learn. A process of growing and building a strongr relationship with Christ. This will happen all the way til the day we die. Another reason for looking forward to tommorrow if He let's one see another day. I wrote this in July 2007 a week after the experience. I hope you enjoy it and you also can meet Christ before your judgement. God bless!
My Testimony...........
It all started when two wonderful people looked in one another's eyes. Lots of growing and creation of memories since then. Many good ones and many bad ones. Then I think, bad ones? Are they really bad ones? Naa! They are just real ones! Ones that have made me reach a point of realization. You might ask yourself what that word means, realization. I think I have asked myself that question every day of my life. Always seemed liked there were questions in my mind that needed answers. It really didn't matter how hard I tried. I felt these questions were never meant to be answered.
Year after year I lived my life. I was always under the impression that nothing ever came easy. I am not talking about money or the material things in life. Those things do not mean much to me. I am speaking of the more important things in life such as love. The big L. Let's define "love" for a second. I would like to say this: a feeling derived in one's heart when the desire to care for another is created in the mind. Sounds pretty simple if you ask me. But, how many times have you heard "love is so complicated"?
It seems like we have love for many things in this world. Your probably thinking of what it is you love right now. Maybe your children or parents. Some might be thinking of their new motorcycle, dog, or pair of shoes you just bought. Rationalized thoughts created in the mind which led to a feeling of care and desire within the heart.
I believed I really knew what love was after getting my heart broken a couple of times. The feeling of pain was so real, I couldn't come to any other conclusion. Thinking, "wow this really hurts. Is this what love really feels like?" I am talking about feelings that where so overwhelming I had a hard time controlling my actions. These emotions would sometimes get the best of me. Almost as if the heart now had control of the body and mind.
So the last few years I tried to avoid expressing love when my mind so desired. Thinking this would better my understanding to realize of what love really is and how important it was to have this feeling when I breathe. I tried other avenues. Instead of falling in love with a woman in a physical relationship I decided to focus on loving everyone in a brotherly way. All the way from helping the old lady next door with her groceries to assisting a lost man who needs a friend.
I pushed all material desires into a small closet and locked the door. I started focusing on one individual in particularly. His name was Bob. This gentlemen was the owner of a start-up satellite rocket launching corporation in Titusville. Start-up meaning, his product had not yet been produced at all. It was still just a dream on paper. It takes several millions of dollars to manufacture these types of vehicles. The hardest thing to come by for production of one's idea is venture capitol.
I have owned stock in this company for 7 years. I wanted to believe this company had the potential to become the world's 1 launch provider. Seemed like they had the technology and the drive to succeed. So my interest never seemed to dwindle.
I made the trip to Titusville to meet this gentlemen and his wife Betty. They were partners in this venture. He took the time to answer every question I submitted. I left that afternoon feeling very positive about my investment. Also feeling I have made some new friends.
Years went by. I kept in contact with this gentleman not only for my benefit but to offer my services in any manner to assist the company. Finally the day had arrived when the headlines read "Bob steps down from E'Prime". He sold the company to a gentlemen named Doug. This man was an existing employee of Bob's company.
Doug took control after laying out 500k to purchase this man's dream. A dream Bob could never turn into reality. It always seemed Bob had some type of excuse when questioned as to why this technology has never made it to the assembly line. After several months of ownership Doug came to realize something about Bob's claims just did not add up. Everything Bob told Doug when purchasing the company had turned out to be a lie. Lies that Bob could not hide any longer.
Because Doug came to this understanding he refused to pay Bob the remainder of the purchase agreement due August 2007. Now the two must resolve these issues in a court of law.
When Doug made public of these concerns all hell broke loose. 2500 shareholders have also realized they have been lied to by prior management (Bob) for years. Some people have been involved since 1992 with nothing to show for. So what do you think resulted from these happenings? You guessed right. Many angry people expressing their opinions in a very harsh and violent manner towards Bob and Betty. Don't get me wrong, I was right there with the masses. At this point my mind decided to label Bob a criminal. People were saying stuff like "I hope you enjoy your stay living with Bubba til the day you die and rot in jail".
Things were getting out of control. There is a blog on Raging Bull where the public was capable of voicing their opinions while keeping their credentials confidential. Using an alias to display their opinions. For some reason I felt like we shareholders were getting nowhere with our approach. Knowing Bob and Betty consistently read the forum I tried to take a different approach. Making several attempts to help Bob understand he was doing the wrong thing.
This is one letter I wrote to the man:
I want to apologize for some of the things I have said towards Bob. I would prefer to say this to his face, man to man, but that is not an option. When reading some of my posts I get a feeling of guilt because of my accusations and judgment towards you.
Forgive me for judging you. I know this is a terrible sin I have committed. I want to thank you for putting me in this situation though. Pushing my mind towards realization. Without you and this thread this would not have been possible for me.
I also want to thank you for your idea. Yes your idea. We all know it was your mind where the birth place for the EPAC DREAM was createed. That is something no one will EVER be able to take away from you. Because of your mind and your idea I arrived here in RBull and have earned true friendships because of you. People I respect very highly. Its hard to believe but many good things have happened because of your idea.
The biggest question in everyone's mind is why. Why would you do these things (if proven guilty) and for what reason? From my side of the table I cannot see one benefit. Honestly, what are you doing presently, in your later years of life? I see your back in the judicial system suing people and putting yourself in a position of possibly getting sued yourself. You have been in and out of the court systems for how many years now? Don't you think its time time to stop what your doing and ask yourself why am I hear again? Why am I back in front of a judge? This is not where I want to be. What can I do to put myself in a winning situation?
You need to find the reason why your life is filled with times like these? Only you know what this thing or person is. Only you can escape from this devil and only you can help this person or thing see the light. Get to the root of the problem Bob. Direct your expertise towards filling the hole your digging.
Because of your doings you have turned one man into a wild beast. Thats right. You know this person very well. His name is Doug Oldham. Your actions turned this man into a stronger leader, who is on the rampage trying to make YOUR DREAM come alive. Have you not read about the progress EPAC has made recently? Did you hear about the recent alliance, MOU's, reverse split, application to get off the pinks, the hiring of some educated individuals? The list goes on Bob.
Here is a wager for you. I am going to bet you my twenty five thousand shares. Thats what I have. No more, no less. I bet if you set an appointment with Doug, just you and him, no loved ones, no lawyers, no one. You get behind closed doors and you tell Doug the truth about everything. You come to terms and make an agreement to work together and move YOUR DREAM forward. If it takes 20 minutes of tears then so be it. I know you will be one of the most respected individuals that I have known or that people can name. This is your pot of gold sitting, waiting, wondering if you know YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. The pot of gold and twenty five thousand more shares cannot understand why you don't want to take them.
I remember when Mystro said he was going to sell the movie rights to Hollywood for YOUR story. I laughed and thought to myself, I don't think anyone would want to see this flick. Why do you ask? Because it doesn't have a happy ending. One of the best things I get from movies is inspiration. Happy endings that I WANT to remember. Not things I would like to get off of my mind. If I cry at a movie its because my tears are tears of happiness. You know the feeling I am speaking of. We all do. Its an overwhelming gift in our souls that delivers an unexplainable feeling people treasure. Its wonderful.
Bob, this is what I think. The information we all have found about you makes me question where you stand with the Lord? This knowledge and curiosity, this gift the Lord has given me is concerned for you. I feel you ask this question to yourself everyday. Someone told me you were a true believer of the Christian Faith. The lord gave me a vision. A vision of two, wait a minute, forgive me Betty, four Angel's wings that were created to only fit two people. The four wings that were written about in the book of life when The Omega created this wonderful place we live in. Wait a second. The Omega? You know what Bob? I never put 2 and 2 together. Was it your idea for the name of Omega Space Systems? If so, He is working through you in a special way.
Its all there for your taking Bob. Be the man who dies like a HERO. Be the man who gets those Angel's wings. Be the man who helps his wife get her wings also. Be the legend. Be the dream. Live the dream. I know its in your heart because you have touched mine already. Do it for you Bob. Do it for you. Make me cry.
Your loving brother,
Shane
This message was from the bottom of my heart.
..............................................................................................................
After I wrote that letter days went by. I felt good about what I was trying to accomplish. I felt like I was actually doing the right thing. Trying to make a difference while taking a devine approach. An approach I have never applied to life before.
For some reason I decided to go back and read that letter I wrote to Bob. I started at the beginning and worked my way through the words thinking, "I wonder if Bob got anything out of this"? Worrying and worrying about this 72 yr old mans life and reading my approach made me stop. I'm talking 18 wheeler locked up with an overwhelming amount of smoke blocking every inch of my view. Then all of a sudden WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Someone was trying to make me realize I HAD CHANGED AS A PERSON.
At that moment I thought, "who has the answer as to why this happened"?
I was sitting in front of my computer staring at the letter when it felt like someone tapped me on the shoulder. I knew it was him. All he said was "See." We had finally made a connection. I turned around and yelled out his name. Jesus!!! Jesus!!! While my eyes released tear after tear of sorrow and joy at the same time everything became clear to me. The joy was created from the assurance of knowing there was hope for me. The sorow had been created because of regret. The regert of knowing I have wasted the last 34 years of my life trying to walk this earth without him. It took the true love and concern for another person to make me understand how much I love Jesus.
This is how I came to understand exactly what true love meant. I first had to discover the love Jesus had placed in my Holy Spirit. The most important love any one person could ever possibly acquire within their lifetime. The love for him.Now I walk with his hand on my heart. His hand squeezes my heart and helps release that love He has blessed me with. Now I choose to share this love with you. All of you.
For those of you that have know me for a long time are probably shocked to read this. I hope you are. Your image of me has been drastically changed from here on. I know this for a fact. Why? Because you and I both know Jesus is real. Our Holy Spirits are not figments of our imaginations. They are expressions derived from within the heart that communicate with your mind when rationalizing the meaning between right and wrong. Good and evil. Love and hate. No one will have to go to school to learn this.
So the next time you ask yourself why love is so complicated, try to remember what you have read in this blog. Your reading this for a reason. I know it.
I love each and every one of you and will always bere here for you for anything!
Don't thank me, thank Jesus.
Love,
Us
To be continued for eternity.......
My Testimony...........
It all started when two wonderful people looked in one another's eyes. Lots of growing and creation of memories since then. Many good ones and many bad ones. Then I think, bad ones? Are they really bad ones? Naa! They are just real ones! Ones that have made me reach a point of realization. You might ask yourself what that word means, realization. I think I have asked myself that question every day of my life. Always seemed liked there were questions in my mind that needed answers. It really didn't matter how hard I tried. I felt these questions were never meant to be answered.
Year after year I lived my life. I was always under the impression that nothing ever came easy. I am not talking about money or the material things in life. Those things do not mean much to me. I am speaking of the more important things in life such as love. The big L. Let's define "love" for a second. I would like to say this: a feeling derived in one's heart when the desire to care for another is created in the mind. Sounds pretty simple if you ask me. But, how many times have you heard "love is so complicated"?
It seems like we have love for many things in this world. Your probably thinking of what it is you love right now. Maybe your children or parents. Some might be thinking of their new motorcycle, dog, or pair of shoes you just bought. Rationalized thoughts created in the mind which led to a feeling of care and desire within the heart.
I believed I really knew what love was after getting my heart broken a couple of times. The feeling of pain was so real, I couldn't come to any other conclusion. Thinking, "wow this really hurts. Is this what love really feels like?" I am talking about feelings that where so overwhelming I had a hard time controlling my actions. These emotions would sometimes get the best of me. Almost as if the heart now had control of the body and mind.
So the last few years I tried to avoid expressing love when my mind so desired. Thinking this would better my understanding to realize of what love really is and how important it was to have this feeling when I breathe. I tried other avenues. Instead of falling in love with a woman in a physical relationship I decided to focus on loving everyone in a brotherly way. All the way from helping the old lady next door with her groceries to assisting a lost man who needs a friend.
I pushed all material desires into a small closet and locked the door. I started focusing on one individual in particularly. His name was Bob. This gentlemen was the owner of a start-up satellite rocket launching corporation in Titusville. Start-up meaning, his product had not yet been produced at all. It was still just a dream on paper. It takes several millions of dollars to manufacture these types of vehicles. The hardest thing to come by for production of one's idea is venture capitol.
I have owned stock in this company for 7 years. I wanted to believe this company had the potential to become the world's 1 launch provider. Seemed like they had the technology and the drive to succeed. So my interest never seemed to dwindle.
I made the trip to Titusville to meet this gentlemen and his wife Betty. They were partners in this venture. He took the time to answer every question I submitted. I left that afternoon feeling very positive about my investment. Also feeling I have made some new friends.
Years went by. I kept in contact with this gentleman not only for my benefit but to offer my services in any manner to assist the company. Finally the day had arrived when the headlines read "Bob steps down from E'Prime". He sold the company to a gentlemen named Doug. This man was an existing employee of Bob's company.
Doug took control after laying out 500k to purchase this man's dream. A dream Bob could never turn into reality. It always seemed Bob had some type of excuse when questioned as to why this technology has never made it to the assembly line. After several months of ownership Doug came to realize something about Bob's claims just did not add up. Everything Bob told Doug when purchasing the company had turned out to be a lie. Lies that Bob could not hide any longer.
Because Doug came to this understanding he refused to pay Bob the remainder of the purchase agreement due August 2007. Now the two must resolve these issues in a court of law.
When Doug made public of these concerns all hell broke loose. 2500 shareholders have also realized they have been lied to by prior management (Bob) for years. Some people have been involved since 1992 with nothing to show for. So what do you think resulted from these happenings? You guessed right. Many angry people expressing their opinions in a very harsh and violent manner towards Bob and Betty. Don't get me wrong, I was right there with the masses. At this point my mind decided to label Bob a criminal. People were saying stuff like "I hope you enjoy your stay living with Bubba til the day you die and rot in jail".
Things were getting out of control. There is a blog on Raging Bull where the public was capable of voicing their opinions while keeping their credentials confidential. Using an alias to display their opinions. For some reason I felt like we shareholders were getting nowhere with our approach. Knowing Bob and Betty consistently read the forum I tried to take a different approach. Making several attempts to help Bob understand he was doing the wrong thing.
This is one letter I wrote to the man:
I want to apologize for some of the things I have said towards Bob. I would prefer to say this to his face, man to man, but that is not an option. When reading some of my posts I get a feeling of guilt because of my accusations and judgment towards you.
Forgive me for judging you. I know this is a terrible sin I have committed. I want to thank you for putting me in this situation though. Pushing my mind towards realization. Without you and this thread this would not have been possible for me.
I also want to thank you for your idea. Yes your idea. We all know it was your mind where the birth place for the EPAC DREAM was createed. That is something no one will EVER be able to take away from you. Because of your mind and your idea I arrived here in RBull and have earned true friendships because of you. People I respect very highly. Its hard to believe but many good things have happened because of your idea.
The biggest question in everyone's mind is why. Why would you do these things (if proven guilty) and for what reason? From my side of the table I cannot see one benefit. Honestly, what are you doing presently, in your later years of life? I see your back in the judicial system suing people and putting yourself in a position of possibly getting sued yourself. You have been in and out of the court systems for how many years now? Don't you think its time time to stop what your doing and ask yourself why am I hear again? Why am I back in front of a judge? This is not where I want to be. What can I do to put myself in a winning situation?
You need to find the reason why your life is filled with times like these? Only you know what this thing or person is. Only you can escape from this devil and only you can help this person or thing see the light. Get to the root of the problem Bob. Direct your expertise towards filling the hole your digging.
Because of your doings you have turned one man into a wild beast. Thats right. You know this person very well. His name is Doug Oldham. Your actions turned this man into a stronger leader, who is on the rampage trying to make YOUR DREAM come alive. Have you not read about the progress EPAC has made recently? Did you hear about the recent alliance, MOU's, reverse split, application to get off the pinks, the hiring of some educated individuals? The list goes on Bob.
Here is a wager for you. I am going to bet you my twenty five thousand shares. Thats what I have. No more, no less. I bet if you set an appointment with Doug, just you and him, no loved ones, no lawyers, no one. You get behind closed doors and you tell Doug the truth about everything. You come to terms and make an agreement to work together and move YOUR DREAM forward. If it takes 20 minutes of tears then so be it. I know you will be one of the most respected individuals that I have known or that people can name. This is your pot of gold sitting, waiting, wondering if you know YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. The pot of gold and twenty five thousand more shares cannot understand why you don't want to take them.
I remember when Mystro said he was going to sell the movie rights to Hollywood for YOUR story. I laughed and thought to myself, I don't think anyone would want to see this flick. Why do you ask? Because it doesn't have a happy ending. One of the best things I get from movies is inspiration. Happy endings that I WANT to remember. Not things I would like to get off of my mind. If I cry at a movie its because my tears are tears of happiness. You know the feeling I am speaking of. We all do. Its an overwhelming gift in our souls that delivers an unexplainable feeling people treasure. Its wonderful.
Bob, this is what I think. The information we all have found about you makes me question where you stand with the Lord? This knowledge and curiosity, this gift the Lord has given me is concerned for you. I feel you ask this question to yourself everyday. Someone told me you were a true believer of the Christian Faith. The lord gave me a vision. A vision of two, wait a minute, forgive me Betty, four Angel's wings that were created to only fit two people. The four wings that were written about in the book of life when The Omega created this wonderful place we live in. Wait a second. The Omega? You know what Bob? I never put 2 and 2 together. Was it your idea for the name of Omega Space Systems? If so, He is working through you in a special way.
Its all there for your taking Bob. Be the man who dies like a HERO. Be the man who gets those Angel's wings. Be the man who helps his wife get her wings also. Be the legend. Be the dream. Live the dream. I know its in your heart because you have touched mine already. Do it for you Bob. Do it for you. Make me cry.
Your loving brother,
Shane
This message was from the bottom of my heart.
..............................................................................................................
After I wrote that letter days went by. I felt good about what I was trying to accomplish. I felt like I was actually doing the right thing. Trying to make a difference while taking a devine approach. An approach I have never applied to life before.
For some reason I decided to go back and read that letter I wrote to Bob. I started at the beginning and worked my way through the words thinking, "I wonder if Bob got anything out of this"? Worrying and worrying about this 72 yr old mans life and reading my approach made me stop. I'm talking 18 wheeler locked up with an overwhelming amount of smoke blocking every inch of my view. Then all of a sudden WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Someone was trying to make me realize I HAD CHANGED AS A PERSON.
At that moment I thought, "who has the answer as to why this happened"?
I was sitting in front of my computer staring at the letter when it felt like someone tapped me on the shoulder. I knew it was him. All he said was "See." We had finally made a connection. I turned around and yelled out his name. Jesus!!! Jesus!!! While my eyes released tear after tear of sorrow and joy at the same time everything became clear to me. The joy was created from the assurance of knowing there was hope for me. The sorow had been created because of regret. The regert of knowing I have wasted the last 34 years of my life trying to walk this earth without him. It took the true love and concern for another person to make me understand how much I love Jesus.
This is how I came to understand exactly what true love meant. I first had to discover the love Jesus had placed in my Holy Spirit. The most important love any one person could ever possibly acquire within their lifetime. The love for him.Now I walk with his hand on my heart. His hand squeezes my heart and helps release that love He has blessed me with. Now I choose to share this love with you. All of you.
For those of you that have know me for a long time are probably shocked to read this. I hope you are. Your image of me has been drastically changed from here on. I know this for a fact. Why? Because you and I both know Jesus is real. Our Holy Spirits are not figments of our imaginations. They are expressions derived from within the heart that communicate with your mind when rationalizing the meaning between right and wrong. Good and evil. Love and hate. No one will have to go to school to learn this.
So the next time you ask yourself why love is so complicated, try to remember what you have read in this blog. Your reading this for a reason. I know it.
I love each and every one of you and will always bere here for you for anything!
Don't thank me, thank Jesus.
Love,
Us
To be continued for eternity.......
