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I still remember it as though it was yesterday, it was my daughter's 16th birthday! I was stressed, due to not being able to share her sweet 16th with her. The state, after false allegations were brought up against me, placed her with my twin brother. They would not let me visit, or even call. I went to a neighbors, where I decided to get drunk. I bought 2 bottles of Night Train, and pounded it down, trying to numb the pain. My mother came to me, and told me some man just ripped her off for $125.00. For some reason, she wanted me to deal with it by confronting the man. At that time, I cared little about life, so I went after him. After terrifying the man, he delivered the cord of wood he promised. After I went, and unloaded the truck...I went inside! When I approached my mother's room, her little dog tried to bite my ankle. I kicked at it, to get it away. My mother in anger pushed me down, and told me that she loved her dog more than me. I snapped, I just could not take it anymore! She was one of the people that had my children taken away, for the sake of trying to get government money for them..as she tried to get custody. Plus years of physical, and emotional abuse. I declared "No more!" As I screamed that, I seen her reaching for her 22 automatic pistol. I ran to her, and knocked her down into her recliner. All I felt was brokenness, and proceeded with myself..that I was going to take her life. I grabbed her neck, and started to squeeze. All of a sudden, I heard a very beautiful male voice say with urgency and delicately "Don't Sandy!" I looked, and no one was there. Suddenly visions flashed before my eyes, showing me that if I continued the enemy would have won. I did not let loose of her neck, until I was done. At that point, I called 911. I told them what I was doing, and that they needed to get there fast. After I hung up, I let her go. I started walking into the other room, when I seen again that she was trying to reach for her pistol. At that time, I told her to go ahead..That my life was ruined anyways, but I told her "How are you going to explain to the police that you shot me, after it was I that called them. She stopped! I was still so torn, that I went in my room, and took a handful of pills. I wanted to die that night, mostly because I knew I went against the Ten Commandments...and I felt like I let God down most of all! I thrashed through the house, like a mad woman..Not cursing God, but my life. The authorities got there quickly, and hauled me to the hospital! They had to knock me out, just to pump my stomach! In the morning, I woke up in ICU. Later that day, they transferred me to the mental health ward. It was there, not because of a counselor, but because I knew the voice was Jesus..that I made drastic changes in my life! Some people ask "How do you know it was Jesus?" my reply is always "Because the enemy would've have said.."Get her, destroy her!"...I am glad that i did not die that day, as I would not have been able to see my grand babies that were born later! I love God so so so much!