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Shortly after I got saved (back in 2011), Satan began to tell me that I was damned and that it was all just a big illusion. God never accepted me, I was a terrible person, and I missed my chance. I believed it for a while and it tore me up. Whenever I opened the Bible, I kept seeing verses like the one where God was in derision, laughing at the evil people because they were doomed by their foolish ways. I was absolutely crushed to know that there was a God, but that I would never get to be with Him and that He would always be mad at me, and that He was probably even laughing at the situation that I had put myself in. How could I enjoy life? There would be no fulfillment from it without God. I could go on and do many things or nothing at all; it wouldn’t matter because God wasn’t there, and He was laughing at me. So finally, I broke down and began crying my little eyeballs out on the floor. Saying stuff like, “You’re mean; You knew this would happen when You made me, I’m some kind of an experiment...” Then I just felt the need to ask Him to make me feel better if I wasn’t damned. Something like that. I think I asked for comfort. And then boom, it was like a gentle ball of light dropped all the way down through my body into my chest, and a wave lifted up in the opposite direction. I was just done crying, and I was embarrassed that I was even on the floor at all, when there were probably angels watching me, rolling their eyes. Now I have to see my shenanigans on Judgment Day and cringe inside, although I will never forget that “chill pill.” It felt awesome, and sometimes I wish I could have it again, but then I would probably have to be in despair in order to get there, and despair is no fun. At all.
I often used to think about how before I became a Christian, I had tried atheism for a while. And it left me in a place where I realized I could be a miserable or happy person, what difference did it make? In the end, I simply died.
And then when I believed I was dammed, I was in the same sort of mindset. What did it matter what I did in life? God existed- and I couldn't be with Him.
What extremes I've been allowed to experience.
I just want people to know that God loves you. I once read in a book that Satan hates us because we're made in the image of God. Satan is also a liar, and God is faithful to His Word. I have experienced this time and time again. And just think about how Jesus has died for our sins-- God wants to spend an eternity with us! This isn't a one-way relationship, and He isn't just in the past being faithful to people who are long-gone. He is with us Now!
Don't forget to pray! Don't forget to pray.
I often used to think about how before I became a Christian, I had tried atheism for a while. And it left me in a place where I realized I could be a miserable or happy person, what difference did it make? In the end, I simply died.
And then when I believed I was dammed, I was in the same sort of mindset. What did it matter what I did in life? God existed- and I couldn't be with Him.
What extremes I've been allowed to experience.
I just want people to know that God loves you. I once read in a book that Satan hates us because we're made in the image of God. Satan is also a liar, and God is faithful to His Word. I have experienced this time and time again. And just think about how Jesus has died for our sins-- God wants to spend an eternity with us! This isn't a one-way relationship, and He isn't just in the past being faithful to people who are long-gone. He is with us Now!
Don't forget to pray! Don't forget to pray.
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He lives in you now, as He lives in me and everyone of us believers. That awareness of His constant presence, changes everything