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Thread: My Own Journey at this thing called Life.

  1. #1
    hersecretrefuge
    Guest

    Default My Own Journey at this thing called Life.

    I am newer to writing my own threads, I'm more the one who wants to reply. But I thought it would be fun to do this. But yeah, I am going to try and make a long story short of my testimony and how I am here to this day.

    I grew up in the baptist church. I was involved in a little something called the Awana program since I was about 3. My mother brought me into salvation when I was about 4 years old.
    When I was about 5 years old, I lived in this run down neighborhood in elgin, illinois. I didn't have too many friends but some mexican neighbor girls who spoke nothing but spanish. So I spent most of my days with them just hanging out, us never talking though. One time I went to my friend "nana's" house and she had two older brothers. Her oldest brother palown, took me down to a sewer and molested me. Here I was in ankle deep, discusting smelling, waste and He told me, "this is what friends do, sshhh"
    There has always been verbal/mental/physical abuse my dad afflicted on my mom during the majority of their marriage but I was not to aware of that until I was about 6 or 7 having to grow up with it and watching. My dad began to verbally and emotionally abuse me at a young age.
    I grew up very hungry for the attention of guys. I have dated countless guys, I don't remember how many boyfriends I have had. I always have been a sweet girl I think, but always in a relationship to fill the deep longing the Lord has placed in my heart before the foundations of the world. But I was always trying to fill that void in me with all the wrong reasons. The older I got, the more bitter and hurt I became. I started cutting one day out of the blue when one of my ex's mothers were mad at me. It became a habit and started hurting myself in anyway to relieve myself, and the sick part about that is it works. That's why it was so addictive for me. The older I got, the worst things became. I traveled a lot of the world in my time. At 13 I went on a missions trip to mexico, did have gone to other mission trips and plenty of youth conferences and revivals and church activities in my time. But I always went to "religious" churches and was never taught the power of the Holy Spirit. So, that explained my void in my heart even though I was saved already.
    Time went on, the abuse kept happening, the pain kept building. At 15 years old, I remember drowning myself in music to get away from the fighting and screaming. My mom suddenly opened the door and told me to come out and talk to them. My mom said to my dad, "come on mike, why don't you tell her what you are really doing to us?" I remember him sitting on the other couch across from my mom and I with his face in his hands and admitted he wanted a divorce and he was going to go live the homosexual lifestyle. All I remember saying when he left was how I was ashamed of him. After that, my mom left for Florida to visit a friend and my dad left me at that time to take whatever he wanted and move out. So, I was left alone for 4 days to fend for myself, feeling abandoned by everyone. My mother came back, but the sweet, christian mother I once knew changed after the divorce. A new side of her came out that scared me. She turned abusive with me and to this day really doesn't care much about me. Sometimes she cares more about the dogs then me, and other days she will call and check up on me. She is strange, but in Jesus name she always wont be so bitter. So to escape this world I was in, and since I didn't know intimicay with Jesus was possible and never knew the power of the Holy Spirit, I turned to other religions. So I would never be home, I attended 3 or 4 churches at once, participated in muslim, buddist, and witchcraft activities. I went from worshiping Jesus with hands raised, to wearing head pieces at the maask for muslims, bowing down to a wall, to playing wegie board.
    One day, someone from my area messaged me and told me about a church he was going to called Rock of Refuge and that I needed to come. I ignored him for about 6 months but literally, ALMOST EVERY DAY of those 6 months he wanted me to come. His exhortation and never giving up on me really was the Lord after my heart. One day with the attitude of "okay, I have never met this guy but I will go to shut him up!", I went. I will never forget the first time I walked into Rock of Refuge, I felt a unique presence. Everyone just loved and hugged on me. People were speaking in strange languages I did not understand at all, people jumping up dancing around during worship? I had never seen this freedom before. Eventually people came and laid hands on me and spoke life and other things into me. I knew it was the Lord because I immediately broke down and the Holy Spirit was flowing through people there saying things I knew they could not of known since they never met me, but it was Jesus.

    So since then I have been being seriously raised up in the things of the Lord. Getting healing and deliverance to this day and I am after his heart. I have dedicated my life to the Lord because He is my portion in this life. I have never felt a longing to go to college, but thats because I am going to be building a house of prayer in my region and my lifestyle is going to be that of the woman Anna from the Word. A widow of 84 years, dedicated her life to night and day worship, prayer, and fasting. The Lord is teaching me on his own, how to play guitar, keyboard, and drums. How to prophetically sing and bring me into leadership. And intimacy with Him is my hearts number 1 cry. He is really all that is mattering to me anymore. He is not yet FULLY number 1 in my life, but I am surrendering and being in tune with what He is saying and I'm ready to do this thing! Now since my parents have fallen away, I am the one warring for their souls! I have an obligation. Someday my father is going to be set free from homosexuality in Jesus name. My mother is going to return to her first love in Jesus name. I am not settling for their souls to be sent to hell, so I am on a front row on the battle lines misson for the dying souls, and the region God has me in for such a time as this. My life's cry is on a mission of Romans 8:9-11, Isaiah 61, and Zephaniah 3:17.

    Someday, you will hear..."REVIVAL IN ROCKFORD, ILLINOIS...? WHAT GOOD COMES FROM ROCKFORD?!"
    Jesus, you will recieve all the glory. He has saved me my friends, I am the perfect example of his saving mercy. I am his delight.

    Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    incorporatestreet
    Guest

    Default Re: My Own Journey at this thing called Life.

    this is a beautiful testimony.
    god is still full of miracles.

    amen
    ilu!

  3. #3
    become_the_generation
    Guest

    Default Re: My Own Journey at this thing called Life.

    wowwwww that is some serious awesomenss right there! keep livin it!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    April 8th, 2007
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    28
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    Default Re: My Own Journey at this thing called Life.

    Thank you Sarah to share this with us! I really like your testimony. You have been in so much in your life, I pray that your longing for your parents and the revival may come to you.

  5. #5
    Kyra
    Guest

    Default Re: My Own Journey at this thing called Life.

    wow, awesome. thank you for sharing.

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