Hello my name is Hannah. This my testimony of how my Father in heaven has helped and is helping me.
When I was 6 my brother, who was 16,used to handle me sexually and force me to do likewise to him. I was blessed to have not been raped by him but I believe he feared that it would come out and he would get into trouble. I didn't know much at that age and didn't tell anyone about it. My brother grew out of it after a few months and moved onto older girls. I have never told anyone about this before.
When I was 8, I was introduced to sexuality by my sister. Descriptions etc.. I became sexually active from then on. This early introduction I believe lead to a porn addiction that begun when I was only 10. It was small at the beginning but got progressively worse during my teenage years. I am still struggling with it but by faith I will be healed not only of the addiction but hopefully of the scars as well.
From the age of 11 I started have anger issues. I would get upset with misbehavior on the part of my dog and start hurting him ( I am so sorry Toby. Rest in peace my beloved dog.). This continued for many years escalating to my being very dangerous inside. I started watching very bad movies and getting into the bad guy's character. I then went into my darkest period of my life so far. I got angry more often. I started hating my dad. It got to the point where I considered seriously about murdering him. I believe I would have done so had it not been my love for my mum.
I was affected by a demon that haunted me at night. I still thank God that I knew how to cry out to Jesus during these scares. I would feel the peace of God come over me and fall back asleep. At the age of 16 I feared myself badly. I wasso scared that I would commit murder. At this stage I did a stupid thing that I regretted and for the first and last time in my life considered suicide. I thought about committing it for days, fearing for my life. I woke up from my period of darkness in time to save my life and others lives and saw God my Father that loves me. Praise Him! Thank you Jesus! I prayed that God would help over my anger and that the demon would leave. It took a few weeks for the demon to leave but leave it did. Sometimes I still feel it's presence but I just call out to Jesus and it goes. My anger issues have mostly decreased.
Through this and continuing my parents have not loved each other, they never have. The day after they married they fought. Often there would be strife that would leave me feeling utterly alone. In these times I run to God and hide from the world. I still do. It's my way of coping. If you would like to pray for my parents please do. They have been through a lot. Unfortunately this left me not wanting to be married for fear that it would turnout the same as my parents marriage. But I believe that I need to be married to keep me out of sin. So Lord help me please.
I praise the Lord! If it wasn't for Him I would not be here today. I would either be locked up or dead.Thank you Jesus for saving me.
When I was 6 my brother, who was 16,used to handle me sexually and force me to do likewise to him. I was blessed to have not been raped by him but I believe he feared that it would come out and he would get into trouble. I didn't know much at that age and didn't tell anyone about it. My brother grew out of it after a few months and moved onto older girls. I have never told anyone about this before.
When I was 8, I was introduced to sexuality by my sister. Descriptions etc.. I became sexually active from then on. This early introduction I believe lead to a porn addiction that begun when I was only 10. It was small at the beginning but got progressively worse during my teenage years. I am still struggling with it but by faith I will be healed not only of the addiction but hopefully of the scars as well.
From the age of 11 I started have anger issues. I would get upset with misbehavior on the part of my dog and start hurting him ( I am so sorry Toby. Rest in peace my beloved dog.). This continued for many years escalating to my being very dangerous inside. I started watching very bad movies and getting into the bad guy's character. I then went into my darkest period of my life so far. I got angry more often. I started hating my dad. It got to the point where I considered seriously about murdering him. I believe I would have done so had it not been my love for my mum.
I was affected by a demon that haunted me at night. I still thank God that I knew how to cry out to Jesus during these scares. I would feel the peace of God come over me and fall back asleep. At the age of 16 I feared myself badly. I wasso scared that I would commit murder. At this stage I did a stupid thing that I regretted and for the first and last time in my life considered suicide. I thought about committing it for days, fearing for my life. I woke up from my period of darkness in time to save my life and others lives and saw God my Father that loves me. Praise Him! Thank you Jesus! I prayed that God would help over my anger and that the demon would leave. It took a few weeks for the demon to leave but leave it did. Sometimes I still feel it's presence but I just call out to Jesus and it goes. My anger issues have mostly decreased.
Through this and continuing my parents have not loved each other, they never have. The day after they married they fought. Often there would be strife that would leave me feeling utterly alone. In these times I run to God and hide from the world. I still do. It's my way of coping. If you would like to pray for my parents please do. They have been through a lot. Unfortunately this left me not wanting to be married for fear that it would turnout the same as my parents marriage. But I believe that I need to be married to keep me out of sin. So Lord help me please.
I praise the Lord! If it wasn't for Him I would not be here today. I would either be locked up or dead.Thank you Jesus for saving me.