So guys I just wanna share to you how all this years I have fully relied myself to prayer many times and had quite some powerful prayers which had all been answered in God's time. though I never doubted each one the last time was me doubting myself, I guess because I trully think I am unworthy of some things maybe due to not appreciating the things amd people I have or being to prideful at things.
Anyway I just wanna start with telling how God answered a prayer which I know I shouldnt have asked knowing it was bound to fail. It's about my first boyfriend who I was with since 8th grade till i got to college It was after our 5th year that months after he decided to break up with me because of something I did which had hurt his ego, so it was a week after he broke up with me that we started texting again and he was kinda friendly with me which ended up with me asking him to get back with me and that went on for 2 months . We were not in the same religion as he was strongly Catholic and I was strongly a Christian, I had always felt like I can't see a future of us being together somehow but stayed because I don't want to have another boyfriend I want to be with one person in my whole life as much as possible, when I was 9 years old I prayed that my first boyfriend will be my last but sad to say having him as my first bf was not a choice but something that they told me I and him were together already when during the time he was courting I jokingly responded to his I love you and my classmates told me we were together,by that alone I didn't made the decision to have him as my first boyfriend. Fast forward I eventually got to the point where I asked some of my family to get him to talk to me and ask his parents to help etc. so we did talk but I ended up moving myself forward as I couldn't get much of a reason from him at all! he did contact me a few times and I even changed numbers after a month and continued to pray intently for 3 months untill I stopped and leave the rest to God and after some time we got back together. He wasn't as Godly Christian I would like to involve myself forever but I was blinded by my principles and acted as a martyr but knew God will aslo help me to shape his life. 7 years and months of being together he broke up with me again but this time I cried myself to sleep and eventually decided to leave the past as I knew he is not what God wants me to be but I earnestly prayed for him to realize my worth as I knew it woukd mean he would learn a lesson not to treat someone who loves him badly in the future. He did had a gf days after we broke up and they lasted for a year which right after he'd been crying and bugging my friends and me becuas he badly wants to see me and get back with me. it took longer but it was far better than I expected and he did learn from it and is enjoying his single life.
I am already with someone which I feel so comfortable with and I can see a future with, there are times we had fights but somehow knew God will be there to hold us together, we had quite few moments of almost breaking up and I just leave everything to God but never had I experienced God abandoned or hid his face from me. for the past weeks I struggled with my battle in prayer, my inner doubts and fear, had trouble with other peoples advice and comments about my relationship but God always reminded me to listen and to depend only on my own feelings and thoughts and to listen to my heart and to do more of what I do. It was always at that breaking point and during that part when I am at my limit and give everything to God that he answers our prayers because when we we aren't at this points we hold on to the situation,we partly take control even if we knew there is nothing we can do as the situation is out of our control but only when we fully surrender and trust God that all the answers are revealed to us. It doesn't mean that when we receive it the battle is already over, He had given me an answer but an answer that needs watering and care. I need to continue growing and putting up this teaching in my life helping this prayerful life mold me and the people I love and around me to become better version of ourselves and be able to help out and reflect this to others aswell. Living means a never ending battle, a never ending prayer and asking God guidance, protection, nourishment, blessings with everything and all that we had so that we will receive more and gain from what we have and restore the things that needs restoration.
I really wish I can write down better and can explain how Prayer had been a big part in my life. I will slowly try my best to improve and to continue sharing God's love and amazng Love to each and everyone of us (his daughters and sons) whom he loves so dearly.
all I'm saying is as long as your prayer is all for love and seeks the good then you have to have a bright and positive mind that it will come, remember prayer is powerful and also is faith but above all do all of this in the name of Love as God is Love. We should always strive to Love like God.