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Thread: Finally I make a new thread

  1. #1
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Finally I make a new thread

    Okay, now that I've been on CC for a week now and we got to know each other a little bit, time for me to actually tell you my full story in the most amount of detail possible. So settle down and grab a coffee or something, because this is going to be a very long one.

    Okay, so once upon a time, when I was incredibly young, I was first taught about the Christian God, and what he did for us. It made no sense to me, though. I thought that if he could see me everywhere I went, and knew exactly what I was thinking, he must be a creep! Hell also made no sense, as I thought that if God gave us a chance, surely he would be merciful enough to give us another. But my father. who taught me this, was also a Universalist...so maybe that's why.

    Anyway, because of this, I didn't really take my relationship with God seriously. Sure, I believed in him (I also didn't know why we use the capital H when we reference God with a pronoun), and prayed to him occasionally, but that's about it. That was for quite a few years. However, I noticed that recently, my friendships didn't last very long. My friends never really stuck around for more than 3 years, and so I never really had a definitive childhood friend. I lost 4 friends that year, then 3, then 5, then 10 (I moved away from that school)...I knew something was really off here. I just wasn't sure what was, though.

    Then I met my best friend in the next school. She was so nice, so funny...we loved each other very much. However, that friendship was almost completely destroyed in under a year when I moved again, only connecting through WhatsApp. I was devastated, and finally knew what was going on. I never really paid attention to God, so I thought he was forcefully taking people away from me so I would pay attention to him. So I apologised profusely that night, repeatedly saying "I'm sorry, God...I'm so sorry..." until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

    The next afternoon, I was lying on the hotel couch like normal until I got this heavy, choking feeling straight out of nowhere, and then suddenly, the emotions and the memories mercilessly rained down on me. I was instantly filled with shock, grief, rage, shame, and confusion, all at the same time. I prayed to God to end this, but it took him an entire hour an a half to finally do it. It was the most long and painful 90 minutes in my life. I wondered how God can be so obsessive and desperate, and he knew I was a very sensitive kid too, so he knew this, and still did this horrible, horrible thing to me. "This can't be happening! How could he do this to his little girl?!", I thought.

    Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to end this once and for all. I was hurting, and I was desperate. There was nothing else to do. And I had to do it, otherwise, who knows how long I would be in this state of confusion for. One fateful day, I typed in my iPad "Does god exist?".

    And that, is when things get serious.

    I looked at the evidence on both sides of the matter, and I have to say, I found the atheist's arguments to be as convincing, if not even more, than the Christians'. That was my first step into atheism. Gotta say, the atheists got a good point with the "Can God make a boulder that even he can't lift?" paradox and Epicurus' challenge on Christians everywhere:

    "Is God willing but not able to prevent evil? Then he is not omnipotent. Is God able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then why does evil exist? If he's neither able or willing, why call him God?"

    However, I still had some concerns at the back of my mind. If I was wrong, then I would go to hell. I knew I couldn't risk that. But I still didn't understand why he left his dear children still struggling, like those kids in Africa, the people affected by the 9/11 attack, the poor victims of the Holocaust, and wandering orphans everywhere. It just didn't quite fit. So I decided that until I find a better match, I stuck to agnostic deism, as I thought that seemed to describe the situation here the best.

    So, how did I get back? Well, I found my way back to the right place by spending massive amounts of time browsing the web for evidence, and more evidence that God exists. But what finally convinced me was when my father showed me a picture of the Shroud of Turin, the very shroud that Jesus was covered in when he died. It was thousands of years old and Jesus' image was still very much visible on the cover. I was shocked, and immediately got back to being a Christian. However, it was not as simple as that, and the story continues to this day.

    Oh yeah, I REALLY struggled with my identity after returning to Christ. I was really confused about whether or not I should even love myself, and if high self esteem automatically equals pride. I also had no idea whether I came from God or Satan, that was also really confusing. I still struggle to this day, but now I am much less concerned. As for my emotional state, I have already come up with a miracle cure for it. I just simply did not care about my social life. I finally let go, and I never regretted it. Not even once. That's how I became the carefree, aloof teenage girl you sometimes read from. I now know that just because something is unpleasant, doesn't mean it's not real. God has the capability to do such things, there's no use whining about what he does to you, SO PUT ON YOUR TOUGH GUY/GIRL PANTS, DEAL WITH IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. COMPLAINING IS FOR THE WEAK.

    So, anyway, that was my story. I know that my story isn't as horrible as some people's, and this will disappear into the endless mist of dead threads someday, but better some time than never, right?
    "Thou shalt not troll on thy forum, lest ye shall be condemned."
    - WineRose

    (Why I became an agnostic deist for a few months and why I still have friendship/trust issues and other stuff: http://christianchat.com/testimonies...ml#post2937513)

  2. #2
    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    There is saying that God works in mysterious ways and through the years I have found this to have an element of truth. It is sometimes very hard to understand the ways of God in the heat of the moment but in time His reasons will be revealed. In the end it will all be for the glory of God. It helps to understand that God is love and He wants us to have life and to have it more abundantly. I have seen hundreds of people come and go in my life and some, if not all of these I will see again. I pray that God brings the right people in your life at the right time.
    Willie-T likes this.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

  3. #3


    88
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Some people are getting there pants out now...

  4. #4
    Senior Member TemporaryCircumstances's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Quote Originally Posted by WineRose View Post
    Okay, now that I've been on CC for a week now and we got to know each other a little bit, time for me to actually tell you my full story in the most amount of detail possible. So settle down and grab a coffee or something, because this is going to be a very long one.

    Okay, so once upon a time, when I was incredibly young, I was first taught about the Christian God, and what he did for us. It made no sense to me, though. I thought that if he could see me everywhere I went, and knew exactly what I was thinking, he must be a creep! Hell also made no sense, as I thought that if God gave us a chance, surely he would be merciful enough to give us another. But my father. who taught me this, was also a Universalist...so maybe that's why.

    Anyway, because of this, I didn't really take my relationship with God seriously. Sure, I believed in him (I also didn't know why we use the capital H when we reference God with a pronoun), and prayed to him occasionally, but that's about it. That was for quite a few years. However, I noticed that recently, my friendships didn't last very long. My friends never really stuck around for more than 3 years, and so I never really had a definitive childhood friend. I lost 4 friends that year, then 3, then 5, then 10 (I moved away from that school)...I knew something was really off here. I just wasn't sure what was, though.

    Then I met my best friend in the next school. She was so nice, so funny...we loved each other very much. However, that friendship was almost completely destroyed in under a year when I moved again, only connecting through WhatsApp. I was devastated, and finally knew what was going on. I never really paid attention to God, so I thought he was forcefully taking people away from me so I would pay attention to him. So I apologised profusely that night, repeatedly saying "I'm sorry, God...I'm so sorry..." until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

    The next afternoon, I was lying on the hotel couch like normal until I got this heavy, choking feeling straight out of nowhere, and then suddenly, the emotions and the memories mercilessly rained down on me. I was instantly filled with shock, grief, rage, shame, and confusion, all at the same time. I prayed to God to end this, but it took him an entire hour an a half to finally do it. It was the most long and painful 90 minutes in my life. I wondered how God can be so obsessive and desperate, and he knew I was a very sensitive kid too, so he knew this, and still did this horrible, horrible thing to me. "This can't be happening! How could he do this to his little girl?!", I thought.

    Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to end this once and for all. I was hurting, and I was desperate. There was nothing else to do. And I had to do it, otherwise, who knows how long I would be in this state of confusion for. One fateful day, I typed in my iPad "Does god exist?".

    And that, is when things get serious.

    I looked at the evidence on both sides of the matter, and I have to say, I found the atheist's arguments to be as convincing, if not even more, than the Christians'. That was my first step into atheism. Gotta say, the atheists got a good point with the "Can God make a boulder that even he can't lift?" paradox and Epicurus' challenge on Christians everywhere:

    "Is God willing but not able to prevent evil? Then he is not omnipotent. Is God able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then why does evil exist? If he's neither able or willing, why call him God?"

    However, I still had some concerns at the back of my mind. If I was wrong, then I would go to hell. I knew I couldn't risk that. But I still didn't understand why he left his dear children still struggling, like those kids in Africa, the people affected by the 9/11 attack, the poor victims of the Holocaust, and wandering orphans everywhere. It just didn't quite fit. So I decided that until I find a better match, I stuck to agnostic deism, as I thought that seemed to describe the situation here the best.

    So, how did I get back? Well, I found my way back to the right place by spending massive amounts of time browsing the web for evidence, and more evidence that God exists. But what finally convinced me was when my father showed me a picture of the Shroud of Turin, the very shroud that Jesus was covered in when he died. It was thousands of years old and Jesus' image was still very much visible on the cover. I was shocked, and immediately got back to being a Christian. However, it was not as simple as that, and the story continues to this day.

    Oh yeah, I REALLY struggled with my identity after returning to Christ. I was really confused about whether or not I should even love myself, and if high self esteem automatically equals pride. I also had no idea whether I came from God or Satan, that was also really confusing. I still struggle to this day, but now I am much less concerned. As for my emotional state, I have already come up with a miracle cure for it. I just simply did not care about my social life. I finally let go, and I never regretted it. Not even once. That's how I became the carefree, aloof teenage girl you sometimes read from. I now know that just because something is unpleasant, doesn't mean it's not real. God has the capability to do such things, there's no use whining about what he does to you, SO PUT ON YOUR TOUGH GUY/GIRL PANTS, DEAL WITH IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. COMPLAINING IS FOR THE WEAK.

    So, anyway, that was my story. I know that my story isn't as horrible as some people's, and this will disappear into the endless mist of dead threads someday, but better some time than never, right?

    Amazing testimony!
    God has a plan that is hard for us to understand, but there is one thing that will never change and will always be able to keep comfort in:
    God knows what is best for us, sometimes going through Egypt is part of His plan for us to make it to eternal life where there are no deserts to travel through.
    missy2014, Willie-T and GODisLOVE7 like this.
    God Bless,
    Natania ♡
    Your Frog President
    #froglivesmatter
    #greenlivesmatter

  5. #5


    88
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Alot of young people have to realize the journey of faith involves others----- if you hang with lukewarm people--- you can become lukewarm---- hang with on fire people--- it will change your life...

  6. #6
    Senior Member Mooky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Quote Originally Posted by 88 View Post
    Alot of young people have to realize the journey of faith involves others----- if you hang with lukewarm people--- you can become lukewarm---- hang with on fire people--- it will change your life...
    So true,88! I am learning this at my ripe old age!
    You may not be outwardly bad — and yet not inwardly good. (Thomas Watson)

    Without prayer, adversity will be intolerable — and prosperity will be a snare. (Nathaniel Vincent)

    It is dangerous to be the world's favorite. (Simeon Ashe)


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-emx2eHFFU


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI6u...sR0-bHCTam121T

  7. #7
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    My tough girl pants will have to be pajama bottoms.. lol





    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."
    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    LOL.. I'll use that defense the next time I get accused of something.. lol


    To read my cancer, depression, physical pain & suicide testimonies, go to the Blog tab in my profile.



  8. #8
    Senior Member TemporaryCircumstances's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    My tough girl pants will have to be pajama bottoms.. lol
    Hahahaha love your signature
    blue_ladybug likes this.
    God Bless,
    Natania ♡
    Your Frog President
    #froglivesmatter
    #greenlivesmatter

  9. #9
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Thank you..


    Quote Originally Posted by TemporaryCircumstances View Post
    Hahahaha love your signature





    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."
    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    LOL.. I'll use that defense the next time I get accused of something.. lol


    To read my cancer, depression, physical pain & suicide testimonies, go to the Blog tab in my profile.



  10. #10
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Quote Originally Posted by WineRose View Post
    Okay, now that I've been on CC for a week now and we got to know each other a little bit, time for me to actually tell you my full story in the most amount of detail possible. So settle down and grab a coffee or something, because this is going to be a very long one.

    Okay, so once upon a time, when I was incredibly young, I was first taught about the Christian God, and what he did for us. It made no sense to me, though. I thought that if he could see me everywhere I went, and knew exactly what I was thinking, he must be a creep! Hell also made no sense, as I thought that if God gave us a chance, surely he would be merciful enough to give us another. But my father. who taught me this, was also a Universalist...so maybe that's why.

    Anyway, because of this, I didn't really take my relationship with God seriously. Sure, I believed in him (I also didn't know why we use the capital H when we reference God with a pronoun), and prayed to him occasionally, but that's about it. That was for quite a few years. However, I noticed that recently, my friendships didn't last very long. My friends never really stuck around for more than 3 years, and so I never really had a definitive childhood friend. I lost 4 friends that year, then 3, then 5, then 10 (I moved away from that school)...I knew something was really off here. I just wasn't sure what was, though.

    Then I met my best friend in the next school. She was so nice, so funny...we loved each other very much. However, that friendship was almost completely destroyed in under a year when I moved again, only connecting through WhatsApp. I was devastated, and finally knew what was going on. I never really paid attention to God, so I thought he was forcefully taking people away from me so I would pay attention to him. So I apologised profusely that night, repeatedly saying "I'm sorry, God...I'm so sorry..." until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

    The next afternoon, I was lying on the hotel couch like normal until I got this heavy, choking feeling straight out of nowhere, and then suddenly, the emotions and the memories mercilessly rained down on me. I was instantly filled with shock, grief, rage, shame, and confusion, all at the same time. I prayed to God to end this, but it took him an entire hour an a half to finally do it. It was the most long and painful 90 minutes in my life. I wondered how God can be so obsessive and desperate, and he knew I was a very sensitive kid too, so he knew this, and still did this horrible, horrible thing to me. "This can't be happening! How could he do this to his little girl?!", I thought.

    Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to end this once and for all. I was hurting, and I was desperate. There was nothing else to do. And I had to do it, otherwise, who knows how long I would be in this state of confusion for. One fateful day, I typed in my iPad "Does god exist?".

    And that, is when things get serious.

    I looked at the evidence on both sides of the matter, and I have to say, I found the atheist's arguments to be as convincing, if not even more, than the Christians'. That was my first step into atheism. Gotta say, the atheists got a good point with the "Can God make a boulder that even he can't lift?" paradox and Epicurus' challenge on Christians everywhere:

    "Is God willing but not able to prevent evil? Then he is not omnipotent. Is God able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then why does evil exist? If he's neither able or willing, why call him God?"

    However, I still had some concerns at the back of my mind. If I was wrong, then I would go to hell. I knew I couldn't risk that. But I still didn't understand why he left his dear children still struggling, like those kids in Africa, the people affected by the 9/11 attack, the poor victims of the Holocaust, and wandering orphans everywhere. It just didn't quite fit. So I decided that until I find a better match, I stuck to agnostic deism, as I thought that seemed to describe the situation here the best.

    So, how did I get back? Well, I found my way back to the right place by spending massive amounts of time browsing the web for evidence, and more evidence that God exists. But what finally convinced me was when my father showed me a picture of the Shroud of Turin, the very shroud that Jesus was covered in when he died. It was thousands of years old and Jesus' image was still very much visible on the cover. I was shocked, and immediately got back to being a Christian. However, it was not as simple as that, and the story continues to this day.

    Oh yeah, I REALLY struggled with my identity after returning to Christ. I was really confused about whether or not I should even love myself, and if high self esteem automatically equals pride. I also had no idea whether I came from God or Satan, that was also really confusing. I still struggle to this day, but now I am much less concerned. As for my emotional state, I have already come up with a miracle cure for it. I just simply did not care about my social life. I finally let go, and I never regretted it. Not even once. That's how I became the carefree, aloof teenage girl you sometimes read from. I now know that just because something is unpleasant, doesn't mean it's not real. God has the capability to do such things, there's no use whining about what he does to you, SO PUT ON YOUR TOUGH GUY/GIRL PANTS, DEAL WITH IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. COMPLAINING IS FOR THE WEAK.

    So, anyway, that was my story. I know that my story isn't as horrible as some people's, and this will disappear into the endless mist of dead threads someday, but better some time than never, right?
    Thank you for sharing WineRose! ISN'T GOD GOOD?? I am just amazed at His goodness with each testimony I read.
    Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
    ~James 1:17

  11. #11
    Senior Member Socreta93's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    I've struggled the same as you of why does God allow bad things to happen and is God to good to be true. Atheist I admit do make compelling arguments that make you think but it's best to study the word so that you won't fall into their trap. I made a blog months ago about 1 reason God allows bad things to happen to good people. The fact that You pulled through and believe in him shows he's all great
    “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



    "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia

  12. #12
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    So I checked this thread again after nearly a week and I am amazed by all the kind words and advice. Thank you, everyone! This took me a lot of courage and time to type, but now I know it was really worth it!

    Also, 100th post! Woohoo!
    Mooky, blue_ladybug and Tinuviel like this.
    "Thou shalt not troll on thy forum, lest ye shall be condemned."
    - WineRose

    (Why I became an agnostic deist for a few months and why I still have friendship/trust issues and other stuff: http://christianchat.com/testimonies...ml#post2937513)

  13. #13
    Member Fromdomlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally I make a new thread

    Thanks for sharing your experience. Im a little concern about the reason you choose cristiano tu; you choose christianity because Shroud of Turin. What about if it is fake? Well my point is: Stick to the bible. I would have liked to see that you read some verses..¡oh! Look what Paul says about atheism...¡oh! Look what Jhon says about agnostism, and most importanly ¡oh! Look what all the bible says about Jesús. About Atheist argument, the problemas with atheist is that they must believe to know more than God; let me explain: If atheist say : There is not God", they are assuming to have seen al the universe even the unseen un orden to deny God existence. Craig is good..watch him.

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