God loves me :)

Evening all,

Thought I would share a little story with you. I'll try to be short, as I can be quite long winded sometimes.

I grew up going to church with my dad and step-mom until I was about 7 or 8 when they stopped going. I was shipped back and forth from my mom and dad as they were never even married. In my teens I rebelled quite a bit and even spouted off quite a bit how I didn't believe in god and even worse at times. Secretly I did though and I prayed a lot for God to end my pain. I thought he wasn't listening or that I did something so bad or somehow deserved the hell I was living in. I got tattoos, piercings, cut myself, did some pretty bad things. When I was 21 my stepmother died, complications of a brain tumor. When I was 22 my lifelong best-friend took his own life, when I was 25 my cousin of the same age passed away, I was very close with her like she was a sister. Then 3 years ago my mom passed away.

During this time I was in a dead end relationship of 10 years. It was bad, so bad that one day I sat in the bedroom and loaded my shotgun. I thought it was my only way out. I lost so many loved ones and I didn't think I had anything to live for, no purpose in life. I was ready to end my pain since somehow I thought God wouldn't. I tried to pull the trigger, however I felt something odd, a feeling I can't explain, that didn't allow me to pull that trigger. It was the strongest feeling ever for me, I really tried my hardest. I dropped the gun and lost it, cried my eyes out. I knew then that God did love me and had a purpose for me. I'm not sure what this purpose is but I'm sure God will somehow let me know.

Sometimes life is still hard but I know this is only a temporary thing, and I look at what Jesus endured for me and nothing compares.

People now call me a bible thumper and a Jesus freak and I just smile because I know I have been saved in every way.

I thought this would be hard to share with strangers but it's not. I'm proud to let people know and maybe I can help some people in the process.

Thanks for reading, God bless you!

Matt

P.S. Yeah I know it wasn't that short, but that's the really really condensed version trust me

Hey man... you hang in there. Jesus has always been with you. You have to be a Jesus Freak if you want to be able to stand before the Lord. Don't give up! Continue to study the word everyday! God Bless you!

Steve

You have done good for yourself, keep it going. Listening to people like yourself helps others to have a better insight at Gods work. I love to see people coming out of depression.

Something that strikes me over and over again on these testimony is the scarily high number of attempted suicides before God broke through in our lives... Brother I do believe it happens to Gods precious blessed ones that are destined for greatness. If God wasn't going to work through us mightily, the enemy wouldn't be so threatened and wouldn't attack so violently.Ravi Zacharias came to the same point! Such a lovely thing to have the tag of Jesus Freak!! Such a compliment! To have his name linked with ours is such a blessing. I thank God for you Brother, I pray he strengthens you and blesses you richly.

hi matt,
im glad you didnt kill yourself and that you listened to the voice of God. yes Jesus does love you and if you were the only person in the world, He would still come to die for you. thats how special you are. a quote i get in emails sometimes -'to the world you might be just one person, but to one person you might be the world'. take care of yourself and God bless