My Testimony and past and present addiction's

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Monnkai

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2014
2,740
690
113
#1
I'm going to start off by saying I have a severe porn addiction, it started when I was twelve and it's followed me all the way up to 27. I've always identified as christian but I never actually did anything Christ like and I was living in unrepented sin. About two years ago God urged me to get rid of my porn collection. So I did and I've haven't purchased the stuff since. Unfortunately, the internet is still around. About a year ago (this was in April too like when I got rid of my porn collection) I was sick of it all and I asked the Lord to come into my life and stay permanently. The next day all that was on my mind was God it was like I had an addiction to him and it felt great. The addiction unfortunately didn't stay as strong as it was that week and its wavered since then. But I still love the Lord with all my heart. For about four months after my being born again I stayed away from porn and I thought I was cured. Unfortunately, the devil has a strong grip on me even still and I fell back into old habits. It's finally April again and I hope God does something amazing again in my life. If you read my post's you'll know that I suffer from Aspergers and an array of mental illnesses. My biggest challenge is Anxiety. Whether it be a trade bill or my health I can't seem to put all my trust in the Lord permanently. I sometimes feel like I can but then the (Sometimes Irrational) fear comes back. When I'm not worried about a trade bill or something in the government I worry about my health and when I'm not worried about that I'm worried about my past. But sometimes there will be a day or two with no fear's and it feel's pretty darn good. But it always comes back. Like I said I'm hoping something changes again this April and I can feel closer to the Lord. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
 

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
175
63
35
#2
"Be still and know that I am God" Pslam 46:10

While its natural to have an eye on politics, you should try to not let it consume you and cause you anxiety : p I mean, we already know that one day an evil man will rise, persecute His people and lead the world astray. And we also know that God is entirely aware of it and knows exactly what Hes gonna do. Dont worry about it so much : p Just put your faith in Him.

And even when we come to Him, the enemy is going to continue to work against us : p They still press at me, in fact my temptations became MUCH worse after I came to Christ. My dreams even became much more awful, and filled with evil things. Theyll only work even harder against us if we come to Him, cuz now they have something to lose.

Keep your heart set on Him, and keep up the good fight. Even if you fall. I am way happy to see you here on these forums, proclaiming your faith in Him : p I am glad that you have answered His call, and I dont want to see you lead to fear from the enemy.
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
2,694
818
113
44
#3
That is really awesome brother, and you are going to the only source that can help. I too had a porn addiction, then I had a pretty radical conversion I like to call my "road to Damascus experience". I don't know how He has helped you with it, but I know I stopped overnight. The next day I turned some on, like the everyday thing, and all I could think was "why does this girl have to do this for money?, What led her to this lifestyle?, what happens in the future when there child comes across this and ask about it?, and the last thing was How do hey parents feel about it?" If they were cool with it, even more sad. I don't know if that may help, but they are good question to ask yourself when tempted. Good luck though man, and thanks for sharing.

Also by "I stopped" of course that means by His power. I take no credit, all glory to God, in Jesus name. Amen.
 

Monnkai

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2014
2,740
690
113
#4
"Be still and know that I am God" Pslam 46:10

While its natural to have an eye on politics, you should try to not let it consume you and cause you anxiety : p I mean, we already know that one day an evil man will rise, persecute His people and lead the world astray. And we also know that God is entirely aware of it and knows exactly what Hes gonna do. Dont worry about it so much : p Just put your faith in Him.

And even when we come to Him, the enemy is going to continue to work against us : p They still press at me, in fact my temptations became MUCH worse after I came to Christ. My dreams even became much more awful, and filled with evil things. Theyll only work even harder against us if we come to Him, cuz now they have something to lose.

Keep your heart set on Him, and keep up the good fight. Even if you fall. I am way happy to see you here on these forums, proclaiming your faith in Him : p I am glad that you have answered His call, and I dont want to see you lead to fear from the enemy.
Thank you! I'm glad there is a community like this online it's seriously dug me out of deep depression holes. God Bless!
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,821
8,596
113
#5
It's going to be ok Brandon. You need to stop focusing on your sin. You are NOT going to stop that way. You may go a week, 2 weeks, maybe a month without porn or masturbation. Is the attempt to remove all temptation really freedom? Jesus said He set you free! You need to come to the place where the temptation has no effect on you. Pray for revelation from the Holy Spirit that you don't have to struggle to not sin. Jesus won the battle for you already. Sin, your flesh, the enemy have no power over you, except what you give them.

Jesus has paid the price, once and for all, for your sin. You CAN'T surprise Him. You ARE forgiven. Meditate on that, and how incredible it is that He loves you. Keep your mind on Him. Practice His Presence DAILY, which means walking in the Spirit. If you are born again you have His Spirit. Embrace Him! Talk to Him. He is with YOU. Remember Him when the temptation arises.