It was 2005, January 6th...My daughter's sweet 16th! I was shattered inside, as I longed to be with my daughter, but was not allowed. Filled with anger, and depression...I went to drinking heavy. That was not a night for anyone to mess with me, I was filled with bitterness, and declared war. I did not care if I died, and did not care who I might draw blood from. Satan used that moment to break the camel's back, by bringing more situations that boiled me inside. First, I was forced to go after someone, and make someone pay back what they had stolen. If I did not, I faced the wrath of my authority figure of that time. Than, I was told afterwards "I love my dog more than I will ever love you!" Plus, I got assaulted anyways. That was the straw that drew the murderer out in me! While I was just starting to take vengeance into my own hands, Jesus spoke up, as clear as day "Don't Sandy!" ...No way was there anger in his voice, no condemnation, just pure love. I stopped what I was doing, called the police on myself, and because I dd not trust this other person at all to not try to shoot me...if I simply turned them loose. After calling, I went into the other room, and really fell apart... "Oh Papa, have I failed!" "Please strike me down, I am unworthy!" He did not though, so I tried to kill myself with pills. The police came, and I let them in. They took me to the hospital, where I refused to be treated...spewing anger at any human that said they cared for me! They knocked me out, and pumped my stomach. When I woke up in ICU the next day, I found my doctor reading the bible, next to me, and I knew he had been praying in my behalf. My life changed at that moment, and I was going to let Jesus help me! He let me know through scripture, that he had seen everything, and to let him have my hurt!...I was the woman with legions, Jesus brought me to my senses!
