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Thread: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

  1. #1
    Member lizzie1's Avatar
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    Default My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Growing up I had a great childhood even though my mum was stuck in addiction she did the best she could for me and my brother... I remember there wasn't a father figure around, all my friends had dads but I didn't...At an early age I was told by my mum that this guy she was dating was my dad but deep down inside I knew differently...As life went on mum met another guy who was amazing He just treated me like a real daughter and I was over the moon I felt so loved...Finally mum and dad (so I called him) had my little brother then got married and dad adopted me wow life couldn't have got any better for me...Later on mum started staying in bed loads and wasn't there for us the way she used too. I used to come home from school to find her friends sitting around the kitchen table and they all were looking pretty out of it, then I heard them saying lets have a tablet party. My heart was broke watching my mum in them states all pilled out of it. More and more mum was getting real ill she was being admitted to hospital an awful lot more than the average person would, then I started to witness things myself that mum was intentionally making her self ill to be hospitalised. She would swallow tacs (you know them things you pin paper to a board with) and constantly pretend she had all kinds of illnesses just to get a hospital bed, when I seen her in hospital she was at her happiest I just could understand why she was doing it for. then she used to watch dad walking down the street coming home from work then she was up to her antics again, when he walked in she would pretend to faint and be sick so she could just lay in bed all night long. Anyway I was usually a happy child and I new right from wrong but I guess I started rebelling against everything I knew that was right, so at the age of 14 I started smoking dope then gradually over the years I used to sniff and take pills but this was only on the weekends when I went out with my friends.. So I started working as a secretary but I wasn't happy there so I left and started working in a nursing home, that's were my heart was looking after people...I also remember my wee granny being over the moon for me as I finally stepped into the job I loved doing. My nanny was great support to me we were so close (more like best friends) At the age of 17 and 19 my life fell apart I lost my nanny and my dad..I didn't know what to do I was all along in this world with no strong mum on my side (I just kept going even though It was very hard watching my mum suffer with addiction and me trying to help rare my brother)... I then met a guy and had my daughter with him but that relationship broke down as he didn't really wanna be in my daughters life. just over a year later I met another guy who ive known all my life and lived 3 doors away from well we ended up having my son 12 months after we met..after having my son I had a real bad back I was in so much agony when I got out of hospital after having him, all I could do was lie in bed I was in so much pain. around a wk after getting home from the maternity hospital I remember lying in bed and my mum walking into my room and she threw a clear bag full of pills infront of me saying I'm getting admitted to a psychiatric hospital in an hours time, I need you to mind your brother, take them pills they will help you (I was 23 at that time and my brother was 8 and a half years my junior). what I didn't know then was that this was my journey down to hell. Everytime I went up to see mum in hospital she was giving me more pills probably to keep me sweet to minding my kid bro..I loved the feeling I felt I could do anything and I had so much energy. I tried to stop them but I just couldn't handle the withdrawels they were so intense...after 5 and a half years together with my partner that relationship ended as well, He used to sell drugs from my home and we ended up using stuff together also at the wkends which wasn't a good thing, our relationship broke down due to him being jealous and violent to me..Anyway over the years I was in an out of so many relationship who all were violent and jealous as well and my addiction grew worse over that period of time...I started suffering from depressing and it got so bad that I just couldn't see a way out, I was so hopless..(pls some1 help me but there was no1 around) all this time i craved so much to have support from my mum but she just wasn't there for me.. due to my depression i couldn't even look after my kids and ended up losing them as well, but thank God they stayed in the family circle...During that time my mum grew such a hatred for me and favouritism my brother over me she kept shutting me out of my family lifes and told them lies about me and to my brother as well, then he started to hate me too..WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME I THOUGHT..Why would a mum have ever1 in her family turn against her 1 and only daughter ...why did she hate me so much for...why did she tell so many lies about me..i could never get my head around it...it drove me crazy wondering why why why...(ive done nothing wrong) I was all alone in this big bad world and my heart was shattered into a million bits..i didn't wanna live any longer..i ended up so ill then i myself was hospitalised in a psychiatric hospital...and went on a scary number of counselling sessions by alot of different psychiatrist....finally mum apologised to me and i moved in with her cause id nowhere else to go...She still couldn't give me the answer to what i was looking for all my life, which why did she make my life hell for sooo many years when i had done nothing at all wrong to her...i guess 1 day she will answer me...i kept telling myself maybe this time me and mum can finally get that mother and daughter bound that we never had now that I'm living at home, but every lot of months she would take a physco and throw me out of her home for NOTHING AT ALL..i ended up living in hostels everytime she threw me out...i remember for 2 Christmas's i sat alone in a hostel with not even a phone call from her asking was i ok or do you wanna come up and spend xmas here with me...But i kept hoping someday she would change...GOD STARTED STEPPING INTO MY LIFE...In 2012 i was sent to jail for not paying a fine and i remember going for a video link and i was sitting in a cell with this girl called Julie mcGinely who was in for killing her husband, i asked her how she was coping and she started telling me about she wouldn't have came through it without God..So she say and shared her testimony and later sneeked me the passion of Christ to watch in my cell that night...that wasn't my only trip to jail i ended in again for assault.....when i got out of jail which was only for over 2wks i still had to go back to the hostel to stay....In the hostel i noticed 3 of the staff were Christians and a girl who stayed in the nexted room to me was 1 as well and they started telling me about what Jesus had done in there lifes...i remember like it was yesterday sitting untop of my bed in the small hostel room and i couldn't get Jesus out of my head..I broke down in tears "God if your real please show me", i was so lost and all alone and couldnt see a way out.. i always believe in God anyway i just wanted God to do something, anything so knew that He was their with me...Help me Lord i cried...i repented that very night and made him Lord of my life...wow from that very minute i felt something shift..i woke up and felt wow somethings different here i don't know what it was i just felt completely different...i couldn't wait to get on Facebook and share with every1 that i got saved last night i was so happy. ... after awhile in church a girl told me about TEEN CHALLENGE who help struggling addicts and help them get a place in there rehab centres around the world so i thought yeah i need to go there, so i started going to the lunch days and the evening fellowship meetings they have running twice a week , i love every1 there i seen the love of Christ through these people... ..i went over to the HOPE HOUSE rehab centre in wales twice but didn't last too long.. i did succeed in coming off everything guess my excuse was i missed home to much....i only wish i had of stuck it out as its a great rehabilitation centre...i also found out my sons dad was still struggling in drugs so i got intouch with him and we became great friends then he went over to the guys house with TEEN CHALLENGE he ended up doing the whole programme and was doing really great..We started trying to work on getting back together..He really wanted to be with me then and there but i just wasn't ready for that yet, i still had things to work on and so did he, we needed to be stronger in our recovery and walk with God..We still were best mates and planned maybe down the line their could be a future but then i seen him struggling real bad and tried to talk sense into him but he didn't listen and he passed away on April 2017 this year...my heart was torn so badly..but i had to keep going and not let depression grip my life again for my sake and my kids. I had to stay strong...keep fighting....keep moving forward....i kept praying for my mum, kids and family..I asked God to restore me and my childrens relationship and kept praying that they can forgive me someday....things started to happen fast..my children are back in my life, i just love them so much I'm the happiest mummy alive right now.... me and my wee mum started speaking again then finally me and my kid brother made amends and now we are so close and he's just named his new baby daughter after me in july this year....God brought all the lies to light that were told about me....Now I'm so close to ALL my family....Life has been so great and that's all been because of Jesus...Finally i learned how to forgive my wee mum and she admitted to all her wrong doing in my life and we are closer than ever now....it was only when i truly forgiving her that i seen her change....She also dedicated her life to the Lord last week...I'm still praying loads for her as their are many areas in her life that she needs set free from and healed as well...BUT are God is Abel Amen... I'm just amazed to were i am today compared to 6years ago..ive a brill church i go to that i love, and Gods surrounded me with so many people who love me..Im really enjoying life I'm still waiting on my husband coming along though hehe..normally when i share my testimony i try and forcus more on what God has done in my life but right now I'm just telling this a little different cuz i know there are people out there struggling and i just want to tell them HEY YOUR NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD (I'm here if you need me), ive had it real hard but nothing is too hard for God..Keep going strong sweeties you'll get through this!! i have a Hope and His name is Jesus...Wow wow wow I'm still amazed at what Gods has done in my life MWAH MWAH MWAH HUGS HUGS HUGS...
    G00WZ, Jimbone, Rosemaryx and 1 others like this.
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

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    Member lizzie1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    oups i didnt write that very well, i forgot to mention God has giving me a new home as well and using me to reach out to my family, already my aunt and mum have got saved and a few others are almost there. Praise God..im hoping to go out on the streets soon to minister to the homeless and struggling addicts, ive did it before and i know thats were my heart is right now and also reaching out to the youth as well. We serve an awesome God Everything is down for His Glory...Thank you Father I'm sitting here in my right mind....When the world says there is no way Jesus says I AM THE WAY TRUST ME
    Enow, mar09, Rosemaryx and 1 others like this.
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

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    Senior Member Rosemaryx's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    oups i didnt write that very well, i forgot to mention God has giving me a new home as well and using me to reach out to my family, already my aunt and mum have got saved and a few others are almost there. Praise God..im hoping to go out on the streets soon to minister to the homeless and struggling addicts, ive did it before and i know thats were my heart is right now and also reaching out to the youth as well. We serve an awesome God Everything is down for His Glory...Thank you Father I'm sitting here in my right mind....When the world says there is no way Jesus says I AM THE WAY TRUST ME
    What a beautiful testimony Praise God \o/...That was truly lovely to read...Thank you for sharing...xox...
    lizzie1 and Sweetmorningdew78 like this.
    PSALM 107:20 He sends His word and heals me and rescues me from the pit and destruction.

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    Senior Member Jimbone's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Praise our God of power and ALL authority. Thank you so much for sharing. This is what the Power of our God does in our lives, this is just what He does. He teaches us to do good things, but not only opens our eyes to it also completely transforms us, indwells us giving us to ability to desire good things and no longer be chained by the things that lead to death. I could feel His power in your words here because I've felt them too, and they are truth, and every soul that He has saves hears that truth. Praise Jesus mighty name.

    I was in complete stunned awe when He first changed me for months, it was kind of funny, I was just all "It's real?..., but it's like really real, like true., but no man it's like really really.. really real, for real.......real", and this was the conversation in my head, I was dumbstruck, but after reading felt a bit compelled to share some encouragement. It's not over, it's just beginning. He has opened my eyes to a whole new level of truth that has me feeling much the same again. Without trying to "sell a view" or start a huge debate, I don't want to label it as anything more than the "Preaching of the Kingdom", but it has my soul on absolute fire for Jesus. I would be happy to share more about it with you anytime, and will probably be making a post to put my view out there anyway, but I just wanted to put out there that this Truth you've been given is so much bigger than we can take in just like that , but my point is that you have SO much to look forward to in His truth, He truly is the King of kings, and the Lord of lords, I think we have just made that a bit "cliche" in our heads sometimes, but really think about what's being said, the kings of this world are not even in the same realm as Jesus, Jesus is seated and the right hand of the only living God on High. Jesus says “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit".

    I only added the last part about the command to "GO" make disciples of all nations because He said it , but the biggest point I wanted to highlight is that Jesus is King right now, and you will be amazed by His power and what He does in you, and all those He saves. Welcome to the family and thank you So much for sharing, keep on proclaiming it.
    Last edited by Jimbone; 1 Week Ago at 10:38 AM.
    lizzie1 and Sweetmorningdew78 like this.
    Mat 5:30

    "If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell."


    I find this to be very true because, God used me losing all function in my right arm after a motorcycle wreak to lead me to Himself, Truth, and Salvation.

  5. #5
    Member lizzie1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    oups i didnt write that very well, i forgot to mention God has giving me a new home as well and using me to reach out to my family, already my aunt and mum have got saved and a few others are almost there. Praise God..im hoping to go out on the streets soon to minister to the homeless and struggling addicts, ive did it before and i know thats were my heart is right now and also reaching out to the youth as well. We serve an awesome God Everything is down for His Glory...Thank you Father I'm sitting here in my right mind....When the world says there is no way Jesus says I AM THE WAY TRUST ME
    I also forgot to mention a few other things as well sorry, I'm not very good at trying articulate things... I also forgot to say that I suffered from epilepsy since my early 20s and when I got saved God healed me from that... ive never took another fit...Praise God
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

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    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    To the OP: paragraphs are your friends. They make it much easier for us to read what you've written. I'm sorry but I couldn't, and didn't even try to, read your wall of text. My eyes kept crossing.


    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."

    Quote Originally Posted by TruthTalk View Post

    I love "Orange Tabbies" , God created the world and then, "Orange Tabbies" .....

    Go to my profile Blog tab to read my testimonies.






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    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Lucky for you. I've had epilepsy my entire life, and haven't been healed of it. Doubtful that I ever will be, in THIS lifetime anyway...

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    I also forgot to mention a few other things as well sorry, I'm not very good at trying articulate things... I also forgot to say that I suffered from epilepsy since my early 20s and when I got saved God healed me from that... ive never took another fit...Praise God


    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."

    Quote Originally Posted by TruthTalk View Post

    I love "Orange Tabbies" , God created the world and then, "Orange Tabbies" .....

    Go to my profile Blog tab to read my testimonies.






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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Thank you for sharing your testimony.

    I do want to point out that when people dedicate their lives to Christ or make a commitment to follow Him, they usually wind up getting burned out or breaking their commitment and follow Him no more because some would say, it is too hard.

    The Lord Jesus Christ has set me free from my commitment to Him and to following Him & all promises to Him so that I can rest in Him and all His promises to me as my Good Shepherd that He will help me to follow Him; therefore I follow Him by faith alone. My confidence is in Him to finish His work in me as all the fruits of righteousness are by Jesus Christ;

    Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:....11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.

    Galatians 5:1Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.....5 For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.

    Most AA and NA speak of their commitment as well as their faith, but I have heard a Mason said that it is their commitment; they did it, and that God didn't do it. When I heard that AA & NA can use any higher power as their source, from Jesus to Allah, to a tree, then I understand His words why we cannot speak of ourselves as if keeping a commitment is the power for following Him or the power in making ourselves good.

    I used to be doubleminded, in trying to do the best I can in keeping that commitment and then failing, I would call on Him for forgiveness and help and He does, but then I felt like I needed to show my appreciation, and once again, try my best in keeping my commitment to follow Him. One miserable cycle... I had quit being a deacon twice because I felt like a fraud.

    One day I came across a pamphlet about the words of my mouth. It used scripture to convict me for the words of my mouth when I used my time out at the warehouse to cuss out loud whenever no one was around to let off job stress and steam. On the back of the pamphlet though, it led me to make a covenant with my mouth and so I did to not cuss any more out at the warehouse.

    The very next day, I was worse than I ever was before. I had thoughts that said "You are not His. If you were His, He would have helped you keep your covenant." I had stopped listening to the devil or whatever that was, but being at my wit's end, I said to the Lord in prayer, "You know I do not want to do this. Why aren't you helping me?"

    A small still voice spoke.. not audible, but I heard Him; "You made the covenant. You'd said you were going to do it. I made the Covenant with you and I said I am going to do it. All I ask from you is to believe on Me."

    I was humbled that day, but it was later when that Mason in a christian men Bible study held by Crossing Path Ministry, made the question about isn't making a commitment to follow Christ is like a promise. That was then when I realized what I had been doing wrong for the most of my adult life from high school when I made a commitment to the Lord to make Him Lord of my life.

    So I do not speak of my commitment nor any promises that I have made because the Lord has forgiven me and set me free from all of them to rest in Him as my Good Shepherd to help me to follow Him. I had to deny myself as able to follow Him to pick up that cross daily in leaning on Him all the time for His power and for His guidance for following Him.

    Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

    Anyway, as much as believers thinks Jesus expects us to dedicate our lives or make a commitment of our lives to Him, or make a promise to be good or to do good, all He really wants from us to also believe in Him as our Good Shepherd to rest in him.

    John 2:23 Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. 24 But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men,25 And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.

    John 6:28 Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? 29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

    Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

    1 John 3:3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure....8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

    2 Timothy 4:18 And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen

    Jude 1:24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, 25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.


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    Member lizzie1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    I should have made it clearer TEEN CHALLENGE is nothing to do with the AA or NA, its a Christian organisation and an 18month long rehabilitation programme were they study the word of God everyday in different bible studies classes and and surrender everything over to him.....check out there website and listen to peoples testimonies
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    To the OP: paragraphs are your friends. They make it much easier for us to read what you've written. I'm sorry but I couldn't, and didn't even try to, read your wall of text. My eyes kept crossing.
    I'm so sorry about that I'm still recently new to posting and still trying to get the hang of things, Thanks for letting me know that I must have completely forgot as I was typing away Bless You
    blue_ladybug likes this.
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    I'm so sorry about that I'm still recently new to posting and still trying to get the hang of things, Thanks for letting me know that I must have completely forgot as I was typing away Bless You
    To Blue and lizzie,
    Here, just a try to divide the text into paragraphs to read easier=). And thanks for sharing, lizzie.

    Growing up I had a great childhood even though my mum was stuck in addiction, she did the best she could for me and my brother... I remember there wasn't a father figure around, all my friends had dads but I didn't...At an early age I was told by my mum that this guy she was dating was my dad but deep down inside I knew differently...

    As life went on mum met another guy who was amazing. He just treated me like a real daughter and I was over the moon I felt so loved...Finally mum and dad (so I called him) had my little brother then got married and dad adopted me wow life couldn't have got any better for me.. .Later on mum started staying in bed loads and wasn't there for us the way she used too. I used to come home from school to find her friends sitting around the kitchen table and they all were looking pretty out of it, then I heard them saying lets have a tablet party. My heart was broke watching my mum in them states all pilled out of it.

    More and more mum was getting real ill she was being admitted to hospital an awful lot more than the average person would, then I started to witness things myself that mum was intentionally making herself ill to be hospitalised. She would swallow tacks (you know them things you pin paper to a board with) and constantly pretend she had all kinds of illnesses just to get a hospital bed. When I seen her in hospital she was at her happiest I just could understand why she was doing it for. She used to watch dad walking down the street coming home from work, then she was up to her antics again. When he walked in she would pretend to faint and be sick so she could just lay in bed all night long.

    Anyway I was usually a happy child and I knew right from wrong, but I guess I started rebelling against everything I knew that was right. So at the age of 14 I started smoking dope, then gradually over the years I used to sniff and take pills. but this was only on the weekends when I went out with my friends.. So I started working as a secretary but I wasn't happy there so I left and started working in a nursing home, that's where my heart was looking after people...I also remember my wee granny being over the moon for me as I finally stepped into the job I loved doing.

    My nanny was great support to me… we were so close (more like best friends). At the age of 17 and then at 19, my life fell apart when I lost my nanny and my dad.. I didn't know what to do, I was all alone in this world with no strong mum on my side (I just kept going even though It was very hard watching my mum suffer with addiction and me trying to help rear my brother)...

    I then met a guy and had my daughter with him but that relationship broke down as he didn't really wanna be in my daughter’s life. Just over a year later I met another guy who ive known all my life and lived 3 doors away from. Well, we ended up having my son 12 months after we met.. After having my son I had a real bad back I was in so much agony when I got out of hospital after having him, all I could do was lie in bed I was in so much pain.

    Around a wk after getting home from the maternity hospital I remember lying in bed and my mum walking into my room. She threw a clear bag full of pills in front of me saying I'm getting admitted to a psychiatric hospital in an hour’s time. I need you to mind your brother, take them pills they will help you (I was 23 at that time and my brother was 8 and a half years my junior). What I didn't know then was that this was my journey down to hell. Everytime I went up to see mum in hospital she was giving me more pills probably to keep me sweet to minding my kid bro..I loved the feeling. I felt I could do anything and I had so much energy. I tried to stop them but I just couldn't handle the withdrawals, they were so intense...

    After 5 and a half years with my partner that relationship ended as well. He used to sell drugs from my home and we ended up using stuff together also at the wkends which wasn't a good thing. Our relationship broke down due to him being jealous and violent to me.. Anyway over the years I was in and out of so many relationships which all were violent and jealous. My addiction grew worse over that period of time as well ...I started suffering from depression and it got so bad that I just couldn't see a way out. I was so hopeless..(pls some1 help me, but there was no1 around) all this time i craved so much to have support from my mum but she just wasn't there for me..

    Due to my depression i couldn't even look after my kids and ended up losing them as well, but thank God they stayed in the family circle...During that time my mum grew such a hatred for me and favouritism my brother over me she kept shutting me out of my family life and told them lies about me and to my brother as well. Then he started to hate me too.. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME I THOUGHT.. Why would a mum have ever1 in her family turn against her 1 and only daughter ...why did she hate me so much for... Why did she tell so many lies about me.. i could never get my head around it...

    It drove me crazy wondering why why why...(ive done nothing wrong). I was all alone in this big bad world and my heart was shattered into a million bits..i didn't wanna live any longer.. I ended up so ill, then i myself was hospitalised in a psychiatric hospital...and went on a scary number of counselling sessions by a lot of different psychiatrist.... Finally mum apologised to me and i moved in with her cause I’d nowhere else to go...She still couldn't give me the answer to what i was looking for all my life, and why did she make my life hell for sooo many years when i had done nothing at all wrong to her... I guess 1 day she will answer me...i kept telling myself maybe this time me and mum can finally get that mother and daughter bond that we never had now that I'm living at home. But every lot of months she would take a psycho and throw me out of her home for NOTHING AT ALL.. i ended up living in hostels everytime she threw me out... i remember for 2 Christmases i sat alone in a hostel with not even a phone call from her asking was i ok or do you wanna come up and spend xmas here with me... But i kept hoping someday she would change...

    GOD STARTED STEPPING INTO MY LIFE...In 2012 i was sent to jail for not paying a fine and i remember going for a video link and i was sitting in a cell with this girl called Julie mcGinely who was in for killing her husband, i asked her how she was coping and she started telling me about she wouldn't have come through it without God.. So she shared her testimony and later sneeked me the passion of Christ to watch in my cell that night... That wasn't my only trip to jail.. i ended in again for assault..... When i got out of jail which was only for over 2wks i still had to go back to the hostel to stay....In the hostel i noticed 3 of the staff were Christians and a girl who stayed in the next room to me was 1 as well and they started telling me about what Jesus had done in their lives...

    I remember like it was yesterday sitting on top of my bed in the small hostel room and i couldn't get Jesus out of my head.. I broke down in tears "God, if Your’e real please show me." I was so lost and all alone and couldnt see a way out.. i always believe in God anyway, i just wanted God to do something, anything so knew that He was there with me... Help me Lord i cried...i repented that very night and made him Lord of my life... Wow from that very minute i felt something shift.. i woke up and felt wow something’s different here. I don't know what it was i just felt completely different...i couldn't wait to get on Facebook and share with every1 that i got saved last night i was so happy...

    After a while in church a girl told me about TEEN CHALLENGE who help struggling addicts and help them get a place in their rehab centres around the world. i thought yeah i need to go there, so i started going to the lunch days and the evening fellowship meetings they have running twice a week. i love every1 there i seen the love of Christ through these people... I went over to the HOPE HOUSE rehab centre in Wales twice but didn't last too long.. i did succeed in coming off everything, guess my excuse was i missed home to much.... i only wish i had stuck it out as it’s a great rehabilitation centre...

    I also found out my sons’ dad was still struggling in drugs so i got in touch with him and we became great friends, then he went over to the guys house with TEEN CHALLENGE. He ended up doing the whole programme and was doing really great.. We started trying to work on getting back together.. He really wanted to be with me then and there but i just wasn't ready for that yet. i still had things to work on and so did he, we needed to be stronger in our recovery and walk with God.. We still were best mates and planned maybe down the line there could be a future but then i saw him struggling real bad and tried to talk sense into him but he didn't listen and he passed away on April 2017 this year...

    My heart was torn so badly.. but i had to keep going and not let depression grip my life again for my sake and my kids. I had to stay strong...keep fighting....keep moving forward....i kept praying for my mum, kids and family.. I asked God to restore me and my children’s relationship and kept praying that they can forgive me someday... things started to happen fast.. my children are back in my life, i just love them so much I'm the happiest mummy alive right now.... me and my wee mum started speaking again then finally me and my kid brother made amends and now we are so close and he's just named his new baby daughter after me in July this year....

    God brought all the lies to light that were told about me....Now I'm so close to ALL my family.... Life has been so great and that's all been because of Jesus... Finally i learned how to forgive my wee mum and she admitted to all her wrong doing in my life and we are closer than ever now.... It was only when i truly forgave her that i saw her change....She also dedicated her life to the Lord last week... I'm still praying loads for her as there are many areas in her life that she needs to be set free from and healed as well... BUT our God is Able, Amen...

    I'm just amazed to where i am today compared to 6 years ago..ive a brill/real? church i go to that i love, and God has surrounded me with so many people who love me.. Im really enjoying life. I'm still waiting on my husband coming along though hehe.. Normally when i share my testimony i try and focus more on what God has done in my life but right now I'm just telling this a little different cuz i know there are people out there struggling and i just want to tell them HEY, YOUR NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD (I'm here if you need me). I’ve had it real hard but nothing is too hard for God... Keep going strong, sweeties… you'll get through this!! I have a Hope and His name is Jesus... Wow wow wow! I'm still amazed at what God has done in my life. MWAH MWAH MWAH… HUGS HUGS HUGS[IMG]...
    oldethennew and lizzie1 like this.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Mar,

    we, hub an me have always known that there was something so special about you!

    your 'testimony is so amazing, especially in the way that you have expressed yourself!
    and given God the glory for true 'deliverance...

    we both will spare you the horror of our own, and only will praise our Holy Saviour
    for His precious 'gift' of the brand new life that He has blessed you and yours with,
    along with ours...
    mar09 likes this.

  13. #13
    Member lizzie1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    ahhh Thank u lv, I really appreciate that..Bless You
    mar09 and oldethennew like this.
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

  14. #14
    Senior Member student's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Testimony/Addiction (i lost everything) / GOD RESTORES / iM SO BLLESSED

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    .im hoping to go out on the streets soon to minister to the homeless and struggling addicts, ive did it before and i know thats were my heart is right now and also reaching out to the youth as well. We serve an awesome God Everything is down for His Glory...Thank you Father I'm sitting here in my right mind....When the world says there is no way Jesus says I AM THE WAY TRUST ME
    PRAISE THE LORD! I didn't read all your testimony...the beginning, the middle, the forever new beginning...lovely you!!!
    It's easy to fall when the authority in your life isn't aware of the pain you are experiencing. You are a great blessing...fulfilling the word, "You [satan] meant it for evil, I use it for good". I'm proud of you! Beyond measure... -student
    oldethennew and lizzie1 like this.

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