Jesus saved me from Satans darkness into the Light of Christ.

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S

Serenity_Angel

Guest
#1
My name is Tracy, I'm 24 years old and was a practising buddist for a long time after promising myself i would never be a christian or have anything at all to do with the christian faith. After many dramatic events in my life that is no longer the case, i gave my life to Jesus just over a year ago and its the best thing i have ever done. Here i share some of my story with you.

Growing up i had a very difficult childhood, At the age of 4 i was sexually abused by a member of my family this continued until i was 6 years old when becuase of fear of it happening to my little sister i told my parents.
I remember the choas afterwards, my father completely losing his temper and then the police turning up and giving me his hat to wear. That was the only thing that really made me feel safe and protected.

As i grew up i had a lot of behavioural difficulties i think were probably due to that time in my life. My dad was extremely violent and often whipped my sister and brother across the hands, sometimes even for something silly as not putting our toy's away straight after we had finished playing with them.

At the age of 11 my elder sister invited us to one of her annual bbq's. After a lot of debate my Mum decided that herself and i would go along with one of my older brothers, that's when the nightmare that was to last more than a decade begun.
That night started with me drinking the odd alcopop now and again until my brother asked if i wanted to try a real drink. I accepted and to make it fun we had a bet on who could stay standing longest, That drink was called ALCOHOLIC HEROIN and at first it was disgusting but after the first one was gone i no longer recognised the taste just embraced the warmth. Needless to say i never won that bet, after the second one i was totally intoxicated.

From that day on i drank to forget and without knowing how i had become an alcoholic at the age of 11.

As the years passed the violence at home progressed and my depression deepened and the way i coped was to drink more and to cut myself daily.

When i was sixteen my dad walked out on us to be with someone he'd found on the internet. Needless to say it never lasted for more than a week.

As i grew older my drinking and self harming became worse, until one day i decided to take my life.
The next thing i remember was waking up in resus at my local hospital. I had survived and more depressed than ever.
I was told i was lucky to be alive as the particular medication i had overdosed on was fatel even in much smaller doses than i hhad taken. It was a miracle.

Several years passed and with each passing one there were several trips to hospital due to self harm and suicide attempts. On one of these occasions when i was 22 years old i admitted myself into the local psychiatric unit, there things got even worse than i could have imagined.

Before the en of my first week in that unit i had begun experimenting with drugs, first of all it started with "harmless" drugs such as cannibis but before long i was taking cocaine on a daily basis.
I was a total nightmare most of my days were spent taking drugs, drinkin and causing chaos on the wards, it even got as bad as me and a couple of other girls sharing suicide tips and having sex with other patients just to get my free supply of drugs.

After being in there for about three months i was discharged into a rehabilitation hostel, this was supposed to be my fresh start instead i went even more off the rails staying out most of the night and coming back drunk and completely off my head on drugs, i was usingg drugs on the premise's and even sold some of my prescription drugs to other clients to fund my growing addiction.
Needless to say it wasn't long before i started using heroin and found the feeling i had been longing for.
My addiction quickly spun out of control and after a matter of only two weeks i began prosituting myself to fund my heroin use.
On one occasion i had gone looking for someone i could get a loan of heroin from and found myself at this strange flat, stupidly i went in and sat down drinking with these three men.
I will never forget that night for as long as i live.
That was the night i was raped by those three men.

I had finally realised i needed help, i was given the number of a 12 step program fellowship which i called, the next night i was sat in a room full of recovering addicts.
Even though i knew i needed help i just couldn't stop using and so i got deeper into addiction. I was hopeless, i just could not get out of it.

During this time i had a fling with a married man and when that broke up i went to pieces again.
A few days after that i had a "client" who offered me some cannibis and enough heroin for two shots in exchange for sex.
I accepted.
That was the last time i worked the streets, that job was so painful emotionally pysically and mentally. So degrading that i felt sick just looking at the small amount of drugs i had sold myself for.

I was ashamed.
I was scared.
I was broken.

That night i finally handed those drugs over to a friend who disposed of them and went to a 12 step meetiing.
I was ready for help.
It wasn't eay, i was put on a script for methadone, but after collapsing a couple of days in because of the dosage i went cold turkey instead.

In 2007 i was given my own flat and although it was great to have somewhere to call my own it was scary and lonely, and before long i became very depressed again.

Early last year i decided to take an overdose of heroin before throwing myself under a train. Don't ask me how but i found myself in a little church i never noticed before. I don't remember much about what happened in the few weeks after but what i do know is that day after day i kept going back to this little church.
Then in April 2008, things were really tough i was struggling financially and emotionally with my past that had never been dealt with.
I took an overdose of nearly 100 paracetamol tablets and went to this church, sat in the chapel and waited to die.
I think clergy had realised what i had done as i became more drowsy, i remeber them calling for an ambulance and trying to keep me talking.
I was at peace because i felt no pain, no worry, nothing.
Then blackness.

I woke up in intensive care surrounded by my mum, sister and our Rev and curate. In complete agony.

I was later told i had stopped breathing it was only due to two members of staff at St Margarets that i was still alive. They had managed to keep a slight pulse beating until the ambulance had arrived.
I was lucky to be alive, But i wasn't happy they had saved me.

Shortly after i was discharged i was asked to work as a volunteer in our coffee bar, i agreed and loved every minute of it.
I began to grow in more ways than i could ever have imagined. For once i had real friends, i had a purpose in life and i felt loved.
It was then i went to my Rev and started to talk through what had happened in my past. It was painful and difficult, and i often had episodes of self harming. But with the help of those at church i got through it and came out the other end a stronger and much happier person.
During those times of talking things through i really encountered God i could even see where he had been amongst all that hurt and distruction i'd been through. Not long afterwards i gave my entire life to Jesus.

That brings me to where i am today....
I now work full time at that same church i first ended up in (St Margaret's) I'm a childrens worker and teach Sunday school one a month. I still work in the coffee bar though not as much and i sometimes do AV for our service's. I've also just been shown how to help prepare communion.
I've shared my story with many at church and outside church and wherever i cani share the good news of Jesus.
My life has changed beyond belief and i know without God that would never have been possible.
I'm due to renew my baptismal vows on Sunday 15th Feb 2009 by full immersion and i'm getting confirmed in the summer.

I love Jesus with my whole being, Body, mind, soul and heart and want to follow Christ for the rest of my life.
Jesus saved me from the darkness and maybe by sharing my story with others and by going where God leads me to share my experiances i can help other people build that same relationship with Jesus that i now have.
:)
 
J

Jenesis

Guest
#2
Wow thanks for sharing that. I'm so happy you've got yourself right and that you have Jesus. Awesome!
 
D

DansChance

Guest
#3
Awesome! I'm glad you are here to tell your story. God still has plans for you here.
 
Mar 18, 2009
190
2
0
#4
After reading your testimony Tracy, the only thing that came to mind was "Glory to God!" Praise Him for setting you free of all the pain and darkness you'd been in. I am so very happy for you, and I will definitely be keeping you in my prayers. Keep growing in God's love, and don't let anyone tell you different! God Bless! :D

Josh
 
I

Iamlearning

Guest
#5
My name is Tracy, I'm 24 years old and was a practising buddist for a long time after promising myself i would never be a christian or have anything at all to do with the christian faith. After many dramatic events in my life that is no longer the case, i gave my life to Jesus just over a year ago and its the best thing i have ever done. Here i share some of my story with you.

Growing up i had a very difficult childhood, At the age of 4 i was sexually abused by a member of my family this continued until i was 6 years old when becuase of fear of it happening to my little sister i told my parents.
I remember the choas afterwards, my father completely losing his temper and then the police turning up and giving me his hat to wear. That was the only thing that really made me feel safe and protected.

As i grew up i had a lot of behavioural difficulties i think were probably due to that time in my life. My dad was extremely violent and often whipped my sister and brother across the hands, sometimes even for something silly as not putting our toy's away straight after we had finished playing with them.

At the age of 11 my elder sister invited us to one of her annual bbq's. After a lot of debate my Mum decided that herself and i would go along with one of my older brothers, that's when the nightmare that was to last more than a decade begun.
That night started with me drinking the odd alcopop now and again until my brother asked if i wanted to try a real drink. I accepted and to make it fun we had a bet on who could stay standing longest, That drink was called ALCOHOLIC HEROIN and at first it was disgusting but after the first one was gone i no longer recognised the taste just embraced the warmth. Needless to say i never won that bet, after the second one i was totally intoxicated.

From that day on i drank to forget and without knowing how i had become an alcoholic at the age of 11.

As the years passed the violence at home progressed and my depression deepened and the way i coped was to drink more and to cut myself daily.

When i was sixteen my dad walked out on us to be with someone he'd found on the internet. Needless to say it never lasted for more than a week.

As i grew older my drinking and self harming became worse, until one day i decided to take my life.
The next thing i remember was waking up in resus at my local hospital. I had survived and more depressed than ever.
I was told i was lucky to be alive as the particular medication i had overdosed on was fatel even in much smaller doses than i hhad taken. It was a miracle.

Several years passed and with each passing one there were several trips to hospital due to self harm and suicide attempts. On one of these occasions when i was 22 years old i admitted myself into the local psychiatric unit, there things got even worse than i could have imagined.

Before the en of my first week in that unit i had begun experimenting with drugs, first of all it started with "harmless" drugs such as cannibis but before long i was taking cocaine on a daily basis.
I was a total nightmare most of my days were spent taking drugs, drinkin and causing chaos on the wards, it even got as bad as me and a couple of other girls sharing suicide tips and having sex with other patients just to get my free supply of drugs.

After being in there for about three months i was discharged into a rehabilitation hostel, this was supposed to be my fresh start instead i went even more off the rails staying out most of the night and coming back drunk and completely off my head on drugs, i was usingg drugs on the premise's and even sold some of my prescription drugs to other clients to fund my growing addiction.
Needless to say it wasn't long before i started using heroin and found the feeling i had been longing for.
My addiction quickly spun out of control and after a matter of only two weeks i began prosituting myself to fund my heroin use.
On one occasion i had gone looking for someone i could get a loan of heroin from and found myself at this strange flat, stupidly i went in and sat down drinking with these three men.
I will never forget that night for as long as i live.
That was the night i was raped by those three men.

I had finally realised i needed help, i was given the number of a 12 step program fellowship which i called, the next night i was sat in a room full of recovering addicts.
Even though i knew i needed help i just couldn't stop using and so i got deeper into addiction. I was hopeless, i just could not get out of it.

During this time i had a fling with a married man and when that broke up i went to pieces again.
A few days after that i had a "client" who offered me some cannibis and enough heroin for two shots in exchange for sex.
I accepted.
That was the last time i worked the streets, that job was so painful emotionally pysically and mentally. So degrading that i felt sick just looking at the small amount of drugs i had sold myself for.

I was ashamed.
I was scared.
I was broken.

That night i finally handed those drugs over to a friend who disposed of them and went to a 12 step meetiing.
I was ready for help.
It wasn't eay, i was put on a script for methadone, but after collapsing a couple of days in because of the dosage i went cold turkey instead.

In 2007 i was given my own flat and although it was great to have somewhere to call my own it was scary and lonely, and before long i became very depressed again.

Early last year i decided to take an overdose of heroin before throwing myself under a train. Don't ask me how but i found myself in a little church i never noticed before. I don't remember much about what happened in the few weeks after but what i do know is that day after day i kept going back to this little church.
Then in April 2008, things were really tough i was struggling financially and emotionally with my past that had never been dealt with.
I took an overdose of nearly 100 paracetamol tablets and went to this church, sat in the chapel and waited to die.
I think clergy had realised what i had done as i became more drowsy, i remeber them calling for an ambulance and trying to keep me talking.
I was at peace because i felt no pain, no worry, nothing.
Then blackness.

I woke up in intensive care surrounded by my mum, sister and our Rev and curate. In complete agony.

I was later told i had stopped breathing it was only due to two members of staff at St Margarets that i was still alive. They had managed to keep a slight pulse beating until the ambulance had arrived.
I was lucky to be alive, But i wasn't happy they had saved me.

Shortly after i was discharged i was asked to work as a volunteer in our coffee bar, i agreed and loved every minute of it.
I began to grow in more ways than i could ever have imagined. For once i had real friends, i had a purpose in life and i felt loved.
It was then i went to my Rev and started to talk through what had happened in my past. It was painful and difficult, and i often had episodes of self harming. But with the help of those at church i got through it and came out the other end a stronger and much happier person.
During those times of talking things through i really encountered God i could even see where he had been amongst all that hurt and distruction i'd been through. Not long afterwards i gave my entire life to Jesus.

That brings me to where i am today....
I now work full time at that same church i first ended up in (St Margaret's) I'm a childrens worker and teach Sunday school one a month. I still work in the coffee bar though not as much and i sometimes do AV for our service's. I've also just been shown how to help prepare communion.
I've shared my story with many at church and outside church and wherever i cani share the good news of Jesus.
My life has changed beyond belief and i know without God that would never have been possible.
I'm due to renew my baptismal vows on Sunday 15th Feb 2009 by full immersion and i'm getting confirmed in the summer.

I love Jesus with my whole being, Body, mind, soul and heart and want to follow Christ for the rest of my life.
Jesus saved me from the darkness and maybe by sharing my story with others and by going where God leads me to share my experiances i can help other people build that same relationship with Jesus that i now have.
:)
You're awesome. Thank you for sharing. This was a lesson. I will strengthen my faith thanks to testimonials like yours. I am really happy you are saved now and helping others like me. Many many many blessings
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#6
This is an 8-year old thread, and the OP left long ago..


You're awesome. Thank you for sharing. This was a lesson. I will strengthen my faith thanks to testimonials like yours. I am really happy you are saved now and helping others like me. Many many many blessings
 
Dec 16, 2012
1,483
114
63
#8
You're awesome. Thank you for sharing. This was a lesson. I will strengthen my faith thanks to testimonials like yours. I am really happy you are saved now and helping others like me. Many many many blessings

I've asked the owner of the site about this and he said that as long as we have something constructive to respond with to an older thread there's no problem with a dated post being at the fore.

Awesome affirmation, keep it up!