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I have been in and out of sorts, strayed so far that when i did try to turn my life around I was so overwhelmed by hurt, pain, and what felt like this wild demon like seed taking over my heart flooding my body with negative thoughts. I decided to not give up because I knew Jesus was with me. I knew that God was always and would always be there for me and that this was a test. I would have to work hard, study, learn, pray and study more to pass this test. I needed to be well equiped with God's word to build a strong faith. This morning as I was reading, studying, praying, and praying some more I asked Jesus to come into my heart and clean up this horrible mess I made of myself. I feel like a new woman. God is teaching me what I need to know and how to get it. My first big adjustment was to forgive all of those that I was hurt by and then to forgive myself. I'm studying the book of Matthew right now (for the first time in my life) and trying to learn scripture to hide in my heart for protection. I had what I call "pretended to be a Christian" before. I had went to church, sang the songs, asked for forgiveness, and last year I had asked the Lord to come into my heart and that was the first time I really felt his presence, but I let the sins of the world run away with me. BUT, Thanks to our almighty GOD, I am back and feel better than ever. He does love us and He is the greatest Father that we will ever have. Thank you for your time and God Bless you and have a wonderful day. Don't forget to just talk to Jesus, he loves to hear from you no matter what you have to say.