K
This is not exactly my testimony since it doesn't talk about how i was saved (the events) but after itand to this day . i have posted it on another forum but i decided to post it here as well since it's related to it.a couple of days after being saved i had a dream , i was on firm ground , then suddenly i found myself walking on a winding glass-like and narrow "road" in the clouds , as i walked i slipped and was hanging on it by my fingers but was back on it again and the dream ended .I suppose this moment in my life might represent right after slipping and being back on the road again .I hope it may encourage who is being saved 
Yesterday after feeling a complete failure i was reading the Bible and i was asking God how can i be courageous, kind ,joyful ,compassionate,faith, strong ,understanding,secure, have discernment ,love,patience, wisdom,boldness to fulfill your purpose for my life etc etc etc...and still have all those things in the right proportion??? Before it, for countless times over the last 3 or 4 years i had attempted to achieve that on my own and needless to say i failed... answer: i needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit .
When i was saved a couple of years ago , I was sent the Holy Spirit , it gave me everything i needed to fight the good fight of faith , it equipped me with everything , it showed me wonderful things that it would be able to do through me and in me ,but soon , without realizing much , little by little i let the surroundings , the circumstances , what other people said disencourage me , weaken my faith ,my disposition , and again i found myself dwelling on the same fears and doubts i used to have , and my life became practically stilled , no significant progress .Basically what I've been doing lately was praying to God out of a coward fear to forgive me, but never sure it had happened(even unsure i was really saved!even unsure God was really good!), so i was living my days: one up ,the other down , up and down , trying to please God ....but on my own , though i wanted very much to treat everyone with godly kidness, patience, i always failed , felt frustrated , ashamed before God after all i "didn't please Him" but.... He doesn't need those works of mine ,praise God, they are like filthy rags!!!indeed they are ,ew! On my own i cannot be who He created me to be, i actually feel disgusted with me whenever i act without His Holy Spirit ,maybe you have felt like this : you want to get away but not from where you are but from yourself , i cant stand my"self" , it's nasty , it's always making up excuses,it's like a war going on inside ....
that's why He sent us the Holy Spirit and when we are filled with it , everything gets in its place , we are no longer shortshighted, it heals any hurt, it guides your every step ,it instructs you even how to correctly pray for a specific thing ,it drives out any "selfish" motivation or desire , it fills you with His peace that no thing or nobody(or yourself) on the earth can give you ,it's a miracle, it makes you shine in a world in darkness, with people being held captive by it.
　
there's this song from DC Talk i used to love back then that describes the war, it's "In the Light" :
The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior
So , if you feel you've been acting on your own and your efforts are making you feel frustrated , ask Him to fill you with His Spirit today,today is the day, and every every day, that that He may grow in you more and more as your"self" become less and less . If it shows you to drop who you've been acting not who you are supposed to be , what you've been believing as true(perhaps wrong ideas about God and His nature=my case) , to start all over again, trust it .... because everything we may do without it is out of His perfect and wonderful purpose for us
philippians 2:13 "for it's God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose"
the Holy Spirit is essential for that .Amen!
Yesterday after feeling a complete failure i was reading the Bible and i was asking God how can i be courageous, kind ,joyful ,compassionate,faith, strong ,understanding,secure, have discernment ,love,patience, wisdom,boldness to fulfill your purpose for my life etc etc etc...and still have all those things in the right proportion??? Before it, for countless times over the last 3 or 4 years i had attempted to achieve that on my own and needless to say i failed... answer: i needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit .
When i was saved a couple of years ago , I was sent the Holy Spirit , it gave me everything i needed to fight the good fight of faith , it equipped me with everything , it showed me wonderful things that it would be able to do through me and in me ,but soon , without realizing much , little by little i let the surroundings , the circumstances , what other people said disencourage me , weaken my faith ,my disposition , and again i found myself dwelling on the same fears and doubts i used to have , and my life became practically stilled , no significant progress .Basically what I've been doing lately was praying to God out of a coward fear to forgive me, but never sure it had happened(even unsure i was really saved!even unsure God was really good!), so i was living my days: one up ,the other down , up and down , trying to please God ....but on my own , though i wanted very much to treat everyone with godly kidness, patience, i always failed , felt frustrated , ashamed before God after all i "didn't please Him" but.... He doesn't need those works of mine ,praise God, they are like filthy rags!!!indeed they are ,ew! On my own i cannot be who He created me to be, i actually feel disgusted with me whenever i act without His Holy Spirit ,maybe you have felt like this : you want to get away but not from where you are but from yourself , i cant stand my"self" , it's nasty , it's always making up excuses,it's like a war going on inside ....
that's why He sent us the Holy Spirit and when we are filled with it , everything gets in its place , we are no longer shortshighted, it heals any hurt, it guides your every step ,it instructs you even how to correctly pray for a specific thing ,it drives out any "selfish" motivation or desire , it fills you with His peace that no thing or nobody(or yourself) on the earth can give you ,it's a miracle, it makes you shine in a world in darkness, with people being held captive by it.
　
there's this song from DC Talk i used to love back then that describes the war, it's "In the Light" :
The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior
So , if you feel you've been acting on your own and your efforts are making you feel frustrated , ask Him to fill you with His Spirit today,today is the day, and every every day, that that He may grow in you more and more as your"self" become less and less . If it shows you to drop who you've been acting not who you are supposed to be , what you've been believing as true(perhaps wrong ideas about God and His nature=my case) , to start all over again, trust it .... because everything we may do without it is out of His perfect and wonderful purpose for us
philippians 2:13 "for it's God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose"
the Holy Spirit is essential for that .Amen!