Hoping that the wicked will flee

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Jan 16, 2011
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#1
Hey ya'll!

Most of you probably know me from the live chat rooms and often the question arises, "What does your screen name mean?". Yes there is a verse in Psalms about "the wicked shall flee" but when I created this screen name I didn't know that untill someone had pointed it out. It means alot more to me than a screen name. My whole life story is behind that name and I'm sure some of you can relate to my story.

I don't want to go into too much detail about my life because its almost 1 am and when I tell my story I feel like I'm complaining. Long story short I have had to deal with a lot of uncontrollable events so far in my life. From your average high school drama and getting picked on to loosing a parent of cancer, dealing with achohal abuse in my family and anxioty.

I'm not looking for pity, don't get me wrong it feels good once in awhile to be hugged and told everythings okay, and I'm not saying I'm a strong person from all of this and that I can see what God's plan for me is. In fact I have no idea what God wants me to do, and I'm scared as can be. This won't be one of those testimonys that will end with a statement about how my life is now and how I have a few things to sort out but all in all I just put it in God's hands.Infact it feels like the opposite. I'm not saying that I'm not a christian, I've been going to church since before I can remember, I just find it hard sometimes to trust God. When I look at all the things that have happened in the past I think "God, I'm angry at you because you know I'm not a strong person and if your goal is to test me then you have to help me out in the will-power department because clearly I'm lacking." Basically what my point is, is that I'm confused with God. Yes fathers love their sons and daughters and sometimes its tough love, you may not get what you want. Don't you think though, that parents will reach down once in awhile after hearing the crying and say "It's okay, I know I had to be a little mean but it's for your own good." and then to make it up take the kid out to ice cream so they can bond again and be happy? I'm not trying to insult God in anyway. I've heard many times that his plan is the best plan. I'm just at a point in my life where I have to learn to trust, as hard as it is for me.

Thank-you to everyone who took time out of their day to read my life story so far. I also want to add that my spelling may not be the best because I'm very tired. I want to end this testimony with a poem I've written about how I've been feeling. God bless you all!

So where is it?
I don't see it
I don't get it
The fufillment of the promise
I don't see it down here
In the middle of the fear
What hope can remain
In the depth of this pain?
I don't see it
The earth is groaning night and day
A song of human slavery
Of dark, desease and poverty
Of children in captivity
God that's the sound that comes to me
Are you still far away on high?
Still staring out of that empty sky?
Still reaching out with that longing hand?
I hear no voice and I don't understand
I know about theology
I know you gave your son for me
I know your wrapped in mystery
I get invisibility
But I still see their misery
I hear their voices haunting me
Saying "who will come and set us free?"
who will come and set us free?
who will come and set us free?
 
N

Nessb

Guest
#2
Hi wickedflee.
I read your post few hours ago. I cant get you off my mind. I want to weep when I read this. I know what my Heavenly Father is like. HE IS THE PERFECT FATHER. no earthly one could ever compare. Ask God to show you His heart & to show you who He really is. I grew up in the church but I have only really gotten to know Him in the last 4 years. & it has really changed my life. I have never felt more loved and secure in my life. Its not been easy bit I have held tight to His hand. Fallen a few times But He has always helped me up again. please dont give up He really does care about & love you!!!!!! search after Him with all your heart & you will find Him. Try it, but I mean really try. it will be worth it. Oh & by the way dont feel bad my spelling sucks anytime of the day. :)
 
J

jamest48

Guest
#3
well wickedflee,I read your post and I agree that life isn't always fair but I would say this,considerJob,he was a rightous man,one that loved God but read his story and when you look around at all the troubles in the world,don't blame God,blame Adam and Eve.our forefathers.It was because of their disobedience and sin that everything came on mankind.God is not putting you through this,satan is but hold onto the altar of God,do not give up on the Father,please,that is what the enemy wants you to do.Jesus came to set the captive free,cry out to Him and rebuke the devil in Jesus' Holy name.When He cried on the cross "it is finished" that is what He meant.Do not be angry at God,He is not or has He ever been mad at you,He loved you so much He sent His only begotten Son to pay your sin debt,just as He did everyones,thank you Father,AMEN.
Go to Gods word for any answers to any questions you may have and if you need help finding something,let me know,I will help if I can,God bless and keep you,AMEN
 
D

dmdave17

Guest
#4
Dear wickedflee,
I am much older than you, so I can't claim to understand everything you are going through, but let me tell you a story from my own life. I was five years old when I lost my father to a sudden heart attack. According to my mother, when things came out later in life, he had been a heavy drinker and caroused a great deal, so I wasn't really that close to him; however, his death did have an effect on me. Without a father around I unconsciously adopted God (or rather He adopted me) to replace my earthly father. I would lie in bed at night and talk to Him as if He was in the room with me. I can remember lying there more than once, dissolved in tears, asking "why God why?". I just assumed that He was listening and that He heard me. He never really answered, but it somehow made me feel better just to have someone to talk to.

As the years went by, I grew further and further away from God as I fell under the spell of Secularism. I committed many sins. There probably wasn't one commandment that I didn't break (since I was a party to abortion). But I never got to the point where I didn't believe in God; that is that I rejected His existence. Many times during that period, I realize now that He was reaching out to me, but I wouldn't listen. Finally, as I lay near to death in a hospital bed in May of 2009 (my wife and daughter had been told I might not make it through the night), I recited the only prayer I could remember under the circumstances; the part of the 23rd Psalm which goes "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me..."

God saw me through that night, as He had many, many other nights in my life when I never realized He was there. Since then, I have learned to recognize His presence in everything. I can tell you this. He is not the cause of your grief. He is not responsible for your suffering. He wants to hold you to His breast and comfort you. But you have to make the first move. Pray for guidance. Pray that He will reveal His plans for your life. Finally, read the Bible every chance you get. You might want to start with Ezekiel 18:23, "'Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked?' declares the sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?" God is never vindictive.

God bless you.
 
T

TheTruthWillSetYouFree

Guest
#5
dmdave17, your testimony is so powerful that I posted it to someone else on another thread. I gave you the reference, so no worries.

All glory to God!
 
B

Bethan

Guest
#6
Wow! xx i feel so oveherwelmed with these true events xxx i Love God and i admit im a sinner xx