I grew up in a non-religious, "Christian" family. We went to church biannually, once on Easter and once on Christmas. My parents taught us a warped and distorted view of the Bible, largely because they were not born again. However, they felt it necessary to instil in us some basic sense of morality, so they taught us the “universalist-Christian” viewpoint, but nothing with weight to it.
What result did this have on me? I was a "Christian". An intellectual believer. At the time, I had never placed faith in Jesus, I had never believed from my heart as God calls us to in John 10:9-13. My ideas surrounding who Jesus is were pushed around and obscured by my lack of knowledge. And because I did not have the peace of the Holy Spirit living in me, I sinned profusely. I lied constantly as a pre-teen, giving my parents no reason to trust me. I became addicted to video games, waiting until my parent's went to bed before sneaking upstairs to play on the computer. Sometimes I would play until 4 in the morning. I eventually compromised my immune system due to my inadequate rest, and developed pneumonia, whereupon I was bedridden for two months. During these two months I continued to feed my addictions, until my parents finally caught me so often that I was severely punished. Among the many sinful activities I chose to engage in were acting gluttonous, viewing pornography, acting very jealous and lustful towards certain girls, and dishonouring my parents. I lied constantly, cheated in school, and exalted myself above other people.
Later, going onto my early high-school years, my siblings and I were tested for giftedness, a higher-than-average percentile rating. We were a “gifted family”. I eventually became obsessed with my more "intellectual" side, which led to me acting arrogant and intellectual, to my own depression, having existential crises. My brother also became so depressed, for a different reason, that he almost committed suicide. I was so depressed; I was looking for something or someone to cling to. I was looking for stability in my life. I felt a giant gaping hole inside of me, and I tried to fill that hole with all of the aforementioned sinful activities.
God had a different plan for me, and, at the age of 15, he eventually led me to question what I believed in intellectually. I asked myself if the God of the Bible was truly compatible with scientific truth. All of the questions I had, like “who made God?”, “is evolution real?”, “did God make the universe in 7 literal days?”, and many more were answered on a website, godandscience.org. This website answered all of the questions I had. However, you aren’t saved based on knowing answers to some tricky questions:I had yet to place my faith in Jesus Christ as my Saviour. One day, I came across a video depicting the very thing I was so desperately longing for: God’s love. It is entitled “Father’s Love Letter”," (
Father's Love Letter Narration Video), and while watching it I started to cry.
I felt the love of God pouring out through the words in this video, and I wept and sobbed because I knew I needed Him in my life. Minutes later, I came across the Sinner’s Prayer. I read through it, and still crying, I started to convince myself that I “wasn’t in the mood” to accept Jesus as my saviour. Then God just asked me “Why not now? What do you have to wait for?”. So I got down and prayed the Sinner’s prayer, and the Holy Spirit convicted my of my sins, and I asked God for forgiveness, and I asked Jesus Christ into my heart. And then the Holy Spirit came into me, and I felt just an indescribable wave of peace that flooded my body… it made me feel new, and fresh, and clean, and that hole in my heart was filled. I was euphoric, and I rejoiced! Praise God, for He is truly mighty to save!
Also:
God has been working in me, and he has released my of my addiction to video games, to pornography & masturbation, to lying and being unhelpful to my parents... I truly feel like an Ambassador for the Truth!
My Testimony
May 26th, 2011
My Testimony
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