I considered placing this in the teen forum, but thought that it is a story that many may relate to and learn from....

'She crippled in agony, as the tightly clenched fist dug into her jaw...cracking the bone...scarring her permanently with the reminder of school day bullying'....

This story begins with one of my school friends - Sarah. As a result of her taking me to the Principles office after I was beaten up a few days prior, she then received the beating of her life....one which to this day, she is reminded of every time she opens her mouth. She had never been picked on much before that and I couldnt help feeling responsible for her demise as I was the unpopular kid that she tried to help - to her own detriment.

There is a saying that says that 'school days are the best of your life.' I beg to differ...they were the worst! I dont honestly remember one day without torment, fear, verbal and physical abuse. Was I fat? No. Did I have buck teeth? No. Did I somehow stand out in the crowd? No. I would say I was a relatively normal kid....so why me?

My torment began when I shifted Primary schools (8 yrs old)..the kids there were nasty pieces of work! I hid in bushes and in classrooms for fear of their taunts. I told teachers and they never listened so I soon learnt that I had to fend for myself. I tried to fight back but all my fighting was in vain.

From 11 yrs old the bullying escalated. I began to self harm...not that it would have been called that back then, but most bizarrely I began pulling my eyelashes out....I spent the next 2 1/2 years without eyelashes....my Parents believing I had Alopecia - a hair loss disease...I was too scared to tell them the truth. I hated myself.

From 12 yrs - 14 yrs old I was in the worst behaved class in the whole school....oh how lucky for me! This is where I would be punched till I had a dead arm, kicked, called a myriad of names I care not to repeat...and verbally abused every moment. I hated that class, I hated school, I hated myself and I hated life. Suicide had never looked so attractive, however, I come from a loving family and this was the only thing which stopped me seriously considering it as an option.

It was at 14yrs old that I got viciously beaten at school...and as a repercussion of Sarah's intervention she received that whole body punch to her jaw which still gives her problems today.

So where is God in all of this? Well, he miraculously turned up after Sarah and I got beaten up. See, we had THE toughest bullies in our class...we knew we were minced meat and that it wasnt just going to stop at 'teaching us a lesson' we knew full well that another beating was just around the corner, but that is where I believe GOD stepped in.

See, I had made a Christian commitment at 12yrs old...didnt really understand what it meant and it took till 15 when I went to a youth group to help see what the Christian life is all about. When I got beaten up I was praying my lil heart out! Psalm 70 was something I prayed EVERY NIGHT. Then when Sarah also got beaten up I prayed all the more that God would not allow us to get beaten up again...in hindsight, he was listening, and he honoured those prayers!

For at the same time as rumours escalated around our class that Sarah and I were 'dead meat' again, another tough 'bully' in my class started being nice to me. Of course I was suspicious...VERY suspicious....but whilst I doubted how genuine she was, she proved to me otherwise. She told the other girls who were going to give me another beating to 'lay off me.' I was stunned! The respect that this 'bully' carried in the class stopped me getting beaten up again. I can only say that is God, as I know her and know she would not do that naturally. This was the first time that someone stood up for me. She had my automatic respect.

So was life cruisy after that? NO WAY! I still had to watch my back...I still got dead arms....I still had shin bruises, I still got called names...BUT...I knew that God saw, God knew, and God cared.

I left school when I had just turned 16...had life improved at school by then? NO. I had not only failed socially but academically I hardly achieved...in fact had I stayed I would have failed miserably. Do I look back on all I have just shared with you with regret? NO! It is a pivotal part of my story, and has influenced who I am. It has given me compassion and empathy. Jesus has set me free from the burdens of the past, he has taken my pain on his shoulders, he has given me a spirit of JOY in place of heaviness, he has restored my soul! As I write this, once again, I see how much I have grown and changed. Jesus has healed my pain, he has helped me to forgive, he has brought me through a journey of acceptance and growth in him. Jesus has used this story to talk to over 70,000 young people when I toured schools in a band. I am not the same rejected, angry, fearful, depressed, suicidal, hateful self...THANK GOD!!! Of course I am still susceptable to feelings of rejection...I know this is one of my biggest fears, but the Lord is working on this too!

I am a ferevent believer in all things working together for good.' Jesus has used me to speak into others lives...he can do the same with you! Everyone has a story!! So start telling yours!!

God bless everyone and thank you for taking the time to read this novel! lol...

Hey Joy, thanks for sharing that, it was really inspiring. I can relate to that as I had a rough time in high school too and I'm still bitter about it.

Good to see you have used your story to help people though, maybe that was the reason it all happened.

We can choose to be bitter or better Sharp! It is a long hard road to forgiveness but if I can do it, you can too! It helps to not think of forgiving as letting someone 'off the hook' for what has been done to you, but rather allowing yourself to be freed from the bitter prison unforgiveness keeps you in if that makes sense!
Yes, I do believe that God is using my story vocationally...Ive been a youth worker for the best part of 16 years and am now at Uni doing a Batchelor in Social Work....God is good, even in the hard times...he can turn anything around.
God bless you Sharp, and thanx heaps for your feedback

I really like what you said here joy. I am naturally not a forgiving person and im really bitter about alot of things as well... your right though, its not letting someone off the hook, but being freed from it. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did in school. Thank you for telling your story, its awesome to see how god works in peoples lives and what he did for you!!

Ahhhhhh Joy.....*HUGS*.........school years can be tough!!........I wasn't picked on, but I knew a lot that were.....girls can be quite cruel, sometimes worse than boys when it comes to bullying.....I can't imagine how school must be now for students, with cyber bullying being added to the mix........Joy, you really do ooze joy ....thank you for sharing such an open and heartfelt testimony......

Thank you so much Sam and Missy!!
Sam, I encourage you to pursue the path of forgiveness because in not forgiving we are only hurting ourselves through our anger and resentment. Study the scriptures and get some prayer about specific people/circumstances and you will find freedom!
Thank you Missy for what you shared also. I really hope my story may inspire more people to realise that their past does not dictate their future...that God has good plans (Jer 29:11) and he wants to free us! In my case it was bullying/rejection, but everyone has their own 'prison' but it is important to realise that we dont have to remain there....Jesus has the keys!!

I really hope this story can encourage anyone out there who is currently struggling with bullying. My heart goes out to anyone who has lived through anything like, or worse, than what I endured. Please message me if you are currently experiencing anything similar as it would be a pleasure to pray for you!!

In Australia.....4 young teens have committed suicide this year from the same school......all because of bullying......I hope this helps others too Joy....

Oh wow Missy!! That is sooo sad!
Bullying here is getting really bad now too....Its so much worse than it used to be coz kids text bully and cyber bully also....