About this time one year ago I was beginning to question my faith and would eventually teeter on the very brink of agnosticism. I could very well have left behind all of the things I had devoted the previous three years to.
I think I'm different from a lot of people. I'm more bent to being a thinker than feeler. I'm something of a philosopher, asking the big questions and trying to find truth. That includes what I believe and why I believe it.
But I was starting to have a problem. You see, the Internet is full of skeptics and it seems that most of them just want to make fun of Christians. I saw so much of this, and I still do. At the time, one year ago in 2011, I was starting to get frustrated. People were asking questions, whether to insult or not, and they weren't getting answers. Or if they were, the answers were shallow enough that the skeptic could tear it apart easily. Then there was the general name-calling. I think what finally made me start doubting was when I was on a chat site and a question was posed: "Do you believe gay marriage should be legal?" At the time I was much more like your typical Christian conservative and I said no. The other person replied, "Oh great. Another idiot who thinks the world is six thousand years old."
Out of frustration, questions began coming out. "Is my belief really so wrong? Is it all just made up?" And I began to wonder, how could I empirically know that my faith was grounded on fact and that it could be reasonably defended? This became my first-ever crisis of faith.
I went on to a Christian message board I've been part of for years and made a new thread asking for good reliable evidence for God's existence. I had previously read "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis but it wasn't of much help. I don't remember the exact chronological order of events that followed, but it was mixed with disappointment and elation.
As people discussed with me on the message board, I also looked to my youth pastors for advice. My question was simple. "What evidence do we have that God exists?" One youth pastor was totally unable to answer. The other simply smiled and said "There is none! It's completely by faith!" That's nice and all, but I'm not the kind of person that can operate like that. Maybe I'm a bit too dependent on my senses, but as a scientist at heart I need some proof to believe something. (Note: I am not knocking people who don't need evidence because they have strong faith. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.)
A couple people on the forum I mentioned earlier were starting to give me good reasoning using what we know from science. This was speaking to me in my native tongue and once I was able to lay aside skepticism and look at the stuff more open-mindedly, there was some sense in what they were saying. I continued to be uncertain in my faith but there was improvement.
At the same time, I was going to a second church on Wednesday evenings to hang out with friends and have Bible study. The pastor there was also the youth pastor so I got to know him on a more informal basis. I told him about my crisis of faith and my interest in apologetics, the defense of the faith using reason. Up to that time, I'd received very little apologetic training from church and didn't really know of any online sources I could understand. I had read Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ" some time before. While the pastor didn't know much about apologetics, he did have a book on it for those wanting to enter it. He let me borrow it and I began reading almost right away.
The words in that book would come to blow me away and rock my world. It was the gold mine I had spent a month, perhaps two, in desperate search of! I read up on arguments for the existence of God, learned how we could conclude that Christian theism was the correct choice, found out that the texts of the Bible have been reliably passed down over the countless years, saw that the Resurrection theory fits better than anything others have proposed, read about the arguments from evil and how to counter them, and so much more! More than any song or sermon, what I read was able to push me far from agnosticism and back to a stronger faith than before, knowing that I can defend my beliefs using reason.
This hasn't negated the need for faith, of course. No philosophical or historical argument can be proven with 100% certainty, especially not historical events from 2000 years ago. Still, as I've continued to learn more apologetics in the past year I've become more certain than ever that God is real and Jesus is alive. Arguments and accusations which I formerly couldn't comprehend are now less of challenges for me, as I can sometimes dismantle them or bring out good objections to them. Do I still doubt sometimes? Of course, don't we all? I could always do well to have more simple faith, something I've been trying to look into. But when all else fails, I can still say this: God is real. How do I know? I asked him to prove himself to me, and he did. Boy, did he ever. It makes me happy when I learn something new that supports what I've come to believe, and when I'm able to successfully answer peoples' questions. Along the way in the past year I've met many intelligent people with similar interests.
By the way, if you are interested in learning the reasons behind Christian faith, whether it's because you're a non-believer with questions or a Christian who is beginning to doubt, there are several sources I would direct you to.
Books:
Anything by Lee Strobel - "The Case for Christ," "The Case for Faith," "The Case for a Creator" are a few from the top of my head.
"Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics" by Doug Powell, the book which the pastor let me borrow.
Websites:
Defending Biblical Christianity | Reasonable Faith - site of William Lane Craig, a brilliant man whose work has influenced me greatly.
Reasons To Believe : Where Science & Faith Converge - Reasons to Believe, led by astrophysicist Hugh Ross. Looks at scientific developments from a Christian perspective. Should warn, they teach Old Earth Creationism.
LeeStrobel.com - Books and Videos with Lee Strobel - Lee Strobel's site, wonderfully informative.
Apologetics 315 - I am still checking out this website, but it looks like a massively informative site that addresses all sorts of things.
A Christian Thinktank - Plain in design, but a good source of information.
I think I'm different from a lot of people. I'm more bent to being a thinker than feeler. I'm something of a philosopher, asking the big questions and trying to find truth. That includes what I believe and why I believe it.
But I was starting to have a problem. You see, the Internet is full of skeptics and it seems that most of them just want to make fun of Christians. I saw so much of this, and I still do. At the time, one year ago in 2011, I was starting to get frustrated. People were asking questions, whether to insult or not, and they weren't getting answers. Or if they were, the answers were shallow enough that the skeptic could tear it apart easily. Then there was the general name-calling. I think what finally made me start doubting was when I was on a chat site and a question was posed: "Do you believe gay marriage should be legal?" At the time I was much more like your typical Christian conservative and I said no. The other person replied, "Oh great. Another idiot who thinks the world is six thousand years old."
Out of frustration, questions began coming out. "Is my belief really so wrong? Is it all just made up?" And I began to wonder, how could I empirically know that my faith was grounded on fact and that it could be reasonably defended? This became my first-ever crisis of faith.
I went on to a Christian message board I've been part of for years and made a new thread asking for good reliable evidence for God's existence. I had previously read "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis but it wasn't of much help. I don't remember the exact chronological order of events that followed, but it was mixed with disappointment and elation.
As people discussed with me on the message board, I also looked to my youth pastors for advice. My question was simple. "What evidence do we have that God exists?" One youth pastor was totally unable to answer. The other simply smiled and said "There is none! It's completely by faith!" That's nice and all, but I'm not the kind of person that can operate like that. Maybe I'm a bit too dependent on my senses, but as a scientist at heart I need some proof to believe something. (Note: I am not knocking people who don't need evidence because they have strong faith. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.)
A couple people on the forum I mentioned earlier were starting to give me good reasoning using what we know from science. This was speaking to me in my native tongue and once I was able to lay aside skepticism and look at the stuff more open-mindedly, there was some sense in what they were saying. I continued to be uncertain in my faith but there was improvement.
At the same time, I was going to a second church on Wednesday evenings to hang out with friends and have Bible study. The pastor there was also the youth pastor so I got to know him on a more informal basis. I told him about my crisis of faith and my interest in apologetics, the defense of the faith using reason. Up to that time, I'd received very little apologetic training from church and didn't really know of any online sources I could understand. I had read Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ" some time before. While the pastor didn't know much about apologetics, he did have a book on it for those wanting to enter it. He let me borrow it and I began reading almost right away.
The words in that book would come to blow me away and rock my world. It was the gold mine I had spent a month, perhaps two, in desperate search of! I read up on arguments for the existence of God, learned how we could conclude that Christian theism was the correct choice, found out that the texts of the Bible have been reliably passed down over the countless years, saw that the Resurrection theory fits better than anything others have proposed, read about the arguments from evil and how to counter them, and so much more! More than any song or sermon, what I read was able to push me far from agnosticism and back to a stronger faith than before, knowing that I can defend my beliefs using reason.
This hasn't negated the need for faith, of course. No philosophical or historical argument can be proven with 100% certainty, especially not historical events from 2000 years ago. Still, as I've continued to learn more apologetics in the past year I've become more certain than ever that God is real and Jesus is alive. Arguments and accusations which I formerly couldn't comprehend are now less of challenges for me, as I can sometimes dismantle them or bring out good objections to them. Do I still doubt sometimes? Of course, don't we all? I could always do well to have more simple faith, something I've been trying to look into. But when all else fails, I can still say this: God is real. How do I know? I asked him to prove himself to me, and he did. Boy, did he ever. It makes me happy when I learn something new that supports what I've come to believe, and when I'm able to successfully answer peoples' questions. Along the way in the past year I've met many intelligent people with similar interests.
By the way, if you are interested in learning the reasons behind Christian faith, whether it's because you're a non-believer with questions or a Christian who is beginning to doubt, there are several sources I would direct you to.
Books:
Anything by Lee Strobel - "The Case for Christ," "The Case for Faith," "The Case for a Creator" are a few from the top of my head.
"Holman QuickSource Guide to Christian Apologetics" by Doug Powell, the book which the pastor let me borrow.
Websites:
Defending Biblical Christianity | Reasonable Faith - site of William Lane Craig, a brilliant man whose work has influenced me greatly.
Reasons To Believe : Where Science & Faith Converge - Reasons to Believe, led by astrophysicist Hugh Ross. Looks at scientific developments from a Christian perspective. Should warn, they teach Old Earth Creationism.
LeeStrobel.com - Books and Videos with Lee Strobel - Lee Strobel's site, wonderfully informative.
Apologetics 315 - I am still checking out this website, but it looks like a massively informative site that addresses all sorts of things.
A Christian Thinktank - Plain in design, but a good source of information.