With fear and trembling

So, I have posted bits and pieces here from time to time, but not a lot about me. So, here's another one about me I guess...about what God has been doing with me as of late.

The first great thing God did for me was bring me out of my stubborn atheism that I had entered into after high school (yay teenage rebellion!) and he dropped a proverbial ton of bricks on me that led me back to church quite spontaneously.

The second great thing he did was he led me to college 3 years after my High School graduation. I never thought I would go to college. I was told I was smart, but no one ever mentioned the possibility of college. On a whim I applied at a local college, was accepted, and got a substantial amount of financial aid. Now I am in my 3rd year at Belmont Abbey College (North Carolina) majoring in Theology.

There's something special about my college. Not only is it a Catholic college (there are plenty, after all), but it is a Benedictine college, meaning it was founded by a community of monks who follow the guidelines of St. Benedict, the founder of monasticism in the West who lived and died nearly 1500 years ago, and his monks have carried on his legacy since then to this present age.

Learning at this college has exposed me to the Benedictine lifestyle. The monks day is framed with prayer: morning prayer, midday prayer, mass, and evening prayer. They devote about 3-4 hours total to prayer daily in community, not counting whatever personal prayer they choose to do on their own time. They have been generous enough to invite all who wish to join them in communal prayer, and it is something I have gladly taken them up on whenever I have been able too. This practice has done wonders for my spiritual life and has given me the discipline I need to focus on my academic work as not only something I am doing for class, but something I am doing for God. My major is theology, after all, and I am basically there to learn about God. It was a monk many centuries ago who said "He who does not pray is not a theologian." The monks have helped me realize this, that prayer is the most important part of my studies as I seek those truths concerning God.

Another great thing he has done is put me into contact with another community of monks, whom I work with along with a group of college students, in the Mid West. The nature of my job is that I spend 6 weeks with this college-intern community under the guidance of another group of Benedictines. Half of our time is spent in spiritual formation, and the other half is spent in youth ministry as we teach the faith to High School students. We also participate in as much of the local monastic life as we possibly can, and this has done so much for all of our spiritual lives. I can not begin to put a price on the many words of wisdom, encouragement, or love which has been taught by or received from those monks of this other monastery. They have constantly pushed me in the right direction to become the person God wants me to be.

As a result of these things God has done for me, he has helped me understand that he has been calling me to a special vocation in life. Beginning towards the end of Autumn, I will begin serious discernment regarding my vocation to the religious life; the life of a nun, more specifically, a Benedictine nun. In all honesty, the discernment of if this is right for me is not the issue, but the matter I am going to explore is where I should become a nun. I will begin visiting different communities of Benedictine nuns in the USA to find a place to spend the rest of my life allowing God to help me work out my salvation with fear and trembling. It has been a difficult thing to openly admit, because there is a stigma nowadays when a young lady says she wants to be a nun, but now that I have admitted it to my parents (after the good monks gave me some encouragement), I have felt all the more confident with trust in God and his plan for me. I am so excited to begin these first steps towards the rest of my life, steps that I know will be taken with Christ beside me. He has never led me anywhere I couldn't go, always giving me just enough strength to do what must me done.

I now face a future for myself that will leave me living a daily rhythm of work and prayer for the greater glory of God, and I've never been happier with anticipation. Please keep me in your prayers that I might find a suitable community to live out my life as a prayer to God. Thank you.

-PAX-

WOW!

That's huge. Good on you for making that decision I guess.

Are you able to leave a community of nuns once you join? Or are you there forever?

Do nuns tend to stay in their monasteries or do they go out into the community to do things?

Thanks!

Well, the vows someone makes as a monk or a nun are vows for life. It isn't something to be rushed into. Monastic communities give people a whole lot of time to decide if the life is right for them. This time is also used to see if the individual will be good for the community to. I hope I get this right, as it varies from monastery to monastery:

1. Generally, the individual joins the monastery as a postulant. The postulant takes no vows at all, and is free to leave at any time. The postulancy is a time for the individual to test-drive the monastic life of the local community, and is usually an amount of time from a few months to a year, depending on the person and the community.

2. After the postulancy, the individual becomes a Novice. The novice professes simple vows that are only binding for a year or so, and then he/she recieves a religious habit. The novice may be given some special responsibilities in the community.

3. After the novitiate, the individual professes solemn vows. These are usually binding for another period of 2-3 years, more or less depending on the needs of the individual and/or community.

4. After the individual has gone through the postulancy and novitiate, it has been about 5-6 years, and he or she ought to have a fairly good idea if the monastic life is the life for them, and the community also has determined if the individual should remain with them. If the individual is acceptable to the community and still desires to be a monk or nun, he will then profess his final vows to the community for life.

Since this is the United States, we still have freedom, so if a monk or nun wanted to leave the monastery after professing final vows, they could, but it would be highly unusual for someone to do so after 6 years of discernment. Usually within the first year of the Novitiate the person knows if they would like to live this way forever or not. At any rate, yes, I could leave the monastery, and nothing would happen to me except the pain of leaving behind my community of sisters and trying to start a new life after being absent from society for 6 years!

As for staying inside the monastery, it varies according to the community. Some nuns are more involved with the outside world than others. Historically, nuns and monks stayed in their monasteries save for a few members chosen to do business with the outside world. Around the middle ages monasteries became the local centers of high education and cultural preservation, and it became part of their character to interact with the outside world through education. Nowadays, many monastic communities worldwide are often much more involved with their local region. The monks at my college exist to educate at the undergrad level. The monks I work with in Indiana have more outreach to the local community through services such as making affordable caskets, providing firewood to the area poor, donating food/money to local charities, and helping the homeless find shelter.

The community of nuns I am looking at lives more traditionally. They are in the middle of nowhere and sustain themselves through ranching. They have a small herd of cattle that they take care of, the operate a publishing house, and distribute communion wafers. The original purpose of monasticism was to take oneself out of the world to pray for the world and allow God to draw oneself closer to him through devoting one's time almost exclusively to prayer, and that is how this community tries to live. They have no television, no radio, and they only communicate via telephone, limited internet use, and good ol' fashioned letters! They don't leave the community except on monastery business and family may visit once a year. These are some serious ladies!

Amazing, Suaso. Thanks for the update. As always, I'm continually praying for you. You have been my most steadfast ally in all my struggles over my time at the Abbey, amazing that it's nearly over. I'll see you in a couple days.

Aye, thank you. This Abbey...these monks...an amazing place and some amazing people. Another round of prayers on your behalf from me, naturally...