1
"Lord when will I preach?"....."Sorry, Son I will be doing that part!"
Ok! I am still here, so this is my short testimony.
I started my repentance by stop playing cricket on Sundays, and used the time to rather go to church. Twice every Sunday. One thing you should know about me is if i do something i do it as best i can, or i do it not at all! When i play cricket, i will be at every practice and every match giving my all! I have been a 100% or 0% guy all my life!
When I sinned, I sinned well! Now I repent, and I suspect I will repent well! So far, the sin I left, i left for good! Even my consience is clean about them. I do not like to look back, because God says.. one who looks back is not fit for His Kingdom. Luke 9:62... So i will only glance back a quick second for your brnefit!
I used to cheat on my wife very regulary, at least 90 times in 16 years! We are married still and for a total of 28 years now! So yes, she prayed for me for 16 years! I was a wild one, and some others might say the same, but actually any sinner is the same distance from God! If you are guilty of one, you are as far away from God as the man i was with thousands of sin! One or a thousand, both is an equal Jesus away from God! And that Jesus length is determined by His measure!
I know one man that was far worse than me, his name was Saul, and he became Paul! Paul of Tarsus! His Jesus length was only three days! Paul was on his way to have more Jesus-people killed, when Jesus appeared to Him in a bright light. And three days later Jesus sent Ananias to Saul to baptize Paul with the Holy Ghost. Saul was praying, and he was selected to be the vessel the Holy Ghost would occupy to take the Gospel to the Gentiles! The rank God uses for this is Apostleship! A complete Teacher, and Spirit Baptizer! All Apostles could baptize with the Holy Spirit. It is this identity, that makes them Apostles! Well i always had it my heart to become an Apostle for God, but it is a calling He does two whom He pleases! I would just be as satisfied with Membership of the Body Of Christ. Membership of this Body is God's glorification for me, and any person accepted into the Kingdom!
Ok back to my cheating! So I cheated many times, but when the Spirit of God cane and convinced me of my sins, I knew how much I hurt my wife, and Jesus, by doing these things! The awaremaking of the pain I cuased, was as painful as a nail through Jesus' body! I was devestated, and my heart was so hurt, and I felt guilty as never before! I know what SORRY means! But I also knew, I had to ask for forgiveness. So as soon as the kids were in bed, my wife and I went to the family room. She sat in a chair, and i sat at her feet.
I said.... My love, you know how you caught me twice on cheating? Well I did it a lot more times than that! Tonight I was made aware of the pain it caused you and God, and it nearly killed me of shame and regret! I have never felt such sorrow for my actions as I do right now. Will you please forgive me, so that God can forgive me as well?"
She had tears in her eyes and ther was a thankful expression in them that i only realised right now what that was. It was the Lord that kept her by me for me! She was the vessel that would arrange my salcvation with Jesus. Sixteen years of prayers and pain, and my stupidity, but she had strong faith, that i would be a GOD_MAN some day!
She said....I forgive you Cobus, but you have to know that the trust, might take some time!"
It took about three days! She was restored by God and He must have given her reassurance of my "Repentance" Now a GOOD question!
Any person reading this.... "How stupid do you think any person would be to spoil that again?"
I think the most unwise man in the world would not spoil this regeneration of marriage ever again! Now this marriage was joined together by God himself. And not even this man Cobus can part it! Why? Because God gave Cobus the victory over that sin through the Blood of His Son! Cobus is DEAD for this sin, and Jesus is the commander over that sin in Cobus! Jesus cannot sin that sin in Cobus, therefore Cobus has to come back for that sin, who will raise Cobus from the dead to do that sin again? Who can raise the dead? God will never raise a person from the dead to do sin! Nope the One he raised he glorified into His Kingdom! And this is how God deals with every sin in my life. The others I did, and got victory over, i would not mention, because it takes up to much time looking back!
Now I look forward again! I have the plough of God in my hand, and I am going to make His Name BIG! Christ Jesus, is my Lord, and what I am about to share now, is not for the faint hearted! Some will call me crazy, but some people here, would benefit much from this!
I have begged every person i sinned against for forgiveness. The ones i could not find, I left on the cross of my Lord! Together with the ones I offended. we left all my sin with Jesus! The ones I still do is in my mind! I might get a hateful thought, and say something i do not want to, but even these ones are coming weaker and less frequent than before. I am truly being led by a Mighty Spirit that helps me when i am tempted. What did Jesus say why was he tempted? Heb 2:18
18For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.
And this he can do over all the sin I died off! The others we are busy with, but I know my spirit! I know I am real weak, from the laying down bad, and accepting the Good!
Now the deep part. I am sleeping, 1!st June 2009, it is 03:10 am and a dream started. In the dream my son and I was holy men, and we were sent to a house to exhort evil spirits from a twenty two yearold man. It was the first time in my life I acted as a holy man, so it was a new experience.
The dream was still going on when I woke up. My son was physically sleeping on a single bed standing next to my wifes side of our bed! I was now wide awake, but my eyes were shut tight! I felt these long breaths I take. They were three times longer than my wife's. And they were deep and effortless. I heard that my son also breathed as deep as I did. We were breathing in and out in unison! It was not air we breathed. It was "thicker" but not quite as thick as water. It was unexplainable how pleasant it was. I think it was LIFE! We were breathing Life!
Renco was in his bed, and i was in mine, but we were both still in the house, where this twenty two yearold man was healed of the Satan! In the dream all the evil spirits left the man, and a voice said from behind us...."Son, you are healed!" And the young man stood up, with peace in his soul!
Then I heard the same voice say to me, while i am in my bed, eyes shut...."Anything you ask me, I will give you." I realised i was still breathing this deep breaths, and now I am completely back in my bed. I felt my hands was burning as if I was clutching a very warm cup of soup. It burned but not painfully. Through my eyelids i realised there was a very bright light in the room. I was very at peace, and the holiness made my whole body warm and glowing with Life. The same Life both me and Renco was still breathing. I heard myself say...."Not my will, but Yours Father"...
Then I knew, He was going to take this Life with Him again. I just knew I had it for ten minutes now, but He was about to leave and take it with Him. I started to cry, and He said... "Soon, son, soon you get to keep it!" With this he left and my breathing returned to normal and the temperature of my hands came down. My son luaghed loud in his "sleep" and his breathing returned to normal. My wife woke up by the loud laughter, and again Renco laughed loud! His last deep breath produced a laughter and his first normal one as well.
My wife was also awake and my eyes was open now. I closed them and asked.... as if He was still there...Lord, when will I preach?..... I did not know i asked it loud enough that my wife could hear! And He answered..... "Sorry son, I will be doing that part, using your body, through My Sprit!"
My wife turned to me and asked, why are you talking? And renco is laughing. I said .....we were in the spiritual world and we were fighting evil spirits...... She said.... You won well, renco has a victorious laughter. And what is this "I will be doing that part?" .....I said..... never mind I am just glad you know!"
Three hours later, she brought me breakfast in bed again like she does ever since we got married... but this morning was a bit different. My son is a bad "wake up" person. he stays sleepy for at least ten minutes. This morning the moment he woke up he was wide awake and full of energy. I had peace like never before, I still have that peace. NOTHING bothers me! And my wife had that same Shine in her eyes, like the day we started our Godly marriage.
After breakfast I had to ask.... Love, do you ever regret that i started to follow Jesus?... She said.... Some days you are really so busy with Him, that we feel we might lose you!... I said... would that be bad?... She said... I guess not, it is His will and Yours, He would give us peace!...
And that is exactly what He did!!!!!!! The day i left the church to seek God, i asked Him to please give peace to my family, while i search Him. He DID!! and now i ask Him, if i am to leave soon, would He again please give peace to my family..... You type the next sentance here.....................
Abba Father, Let thou will be done in me!
Amen!!!
Ok! I am still here, so this is my short testimony.
I started my repentance by stop playing cricket on Sundays, and used the time to rather go to church. Twice every Sunday. One thing you should know about me is if i do something i do it as best i can, or i do it not at all! When i play cricket, i will be at every practice and every match giving my all! I have been a 100% or 0% guy all my life!
When I sinned, I sinned well! Now I repent, and I suspect I will repent well! So far, the sin I left, i left for good! Even my consience is clean about them. I do not like to look back, because God says.. one who looks back is not fit for His Kingdom. Luke 9:62... So i will only glance back a quick second for your brnefit!
I used to cheat on my wife very regulary, at least 90 times in 16 years! We are married still and for a total of 28 years now! So yes, she prayed for me for 16 years! I was a wild one, and some others might say the same, but actually any sinner is the same distance from God! If you are guilty of one, you are as far away from God as the man i was with thousands of sin! One or a thousand, both is an equal Jesus away from God! And that Jesus length is determined by His measure!
I know one man that was far worse than me, his name was Saul, and he became Paul! Paul of Tarsus! His Jesus length was only three days! Paul was on his way to have more Jesus-people killed, when Jesus appeared to Him in a bright light. And three days later Jesus sent Ananias to Saul to baptize Paul with the Holy Ghost. Saul was praying, and he was selected to be the vessel the Holy Ghost would occupy to take the Gospel to the Gentiles! The rank God uses for this is Apostleship! A complete Teacher, and Spirit Baptizer! All Apostles could baptize with the Holy Spirit. It is this identity, that makes them Apostles! Well i always had it my heart to become an Apostle for God, but it is a calling He does two whom He pleases! I would just be as satisfied with Membership of the Body Of Christ. Membership of this Body is God's glorification for me, and any person accepted into the Kingdom!
Ok back to my cheating! So I cheated many times, but when the Spirit of God cane and convinced me of my sins, I knew how much I hurt my wife, and Jesus, by doing these things! The awaremaking of the pain I cuased, was as painful as a nail through Jesus' body! I was devestated, and my heart was so hurt, and I felt guilty as never before! I know what SORRY means! But I also knew, I had to ask for forgiveness. So as soon as the kids were in bed, my wife and I went to the family room. She sat in a chair, and i sat at her feet.
I said.... My love, you know how you caught me twice on cheating? Well I did it a lot more times than that! Tonight I was made aware of the pain it caused you and God, and it nearly killed me of shame and regret! I have never felt such sorrow for my actions as I do right now. Will you please forgive me, so that God can forgive me as well?"
She had tears in her eyes and ther was a thankful expression in them that i only realised right now what that was. It was the Lord that kept her by me for me! She was the vessel that would arrange my salcvation with Jesus. Sixteen years of prayers and pain, and my stupidity, but she had strong faith, that i would be a GOD_MAN some day!
She said....I forgive you Cobus, but you have to know that the trust, might take some time!"
It took about three days! She was restored by God and He must have given her reassurance of my "Repentance" Now a GOOD question!
Any person reading this.... "How stupid do you think any person would be to spoil that again?"
I think the most unwise man in the world would not spoil this regeneration of marriage ever again! Now this marriage was joined together by God himself. And not even this man Cobus can part it! Why? Because God gave Cobus the victory over that sin through the Blood of His Son! Cobus is DEAD for this sin, and Jesus is the commander over that sin in Cobus! Jesus cannot sin that sin in Cobus, therefore Cobus has to come back for that sin, who will raise Cobus from the dead to do that sin again? Who can raise the dead? God will never raise a person from the dead to do sin! Nope the One he raised he glorified into His Kingdom! And this is how God deals with every sin in my life. The others I did, and got victory over, i would not mention, because it takes up to much time looking back!
Now I look forward again! I have the plough of God in my hand, and I am going to make His Name BIG! Christ Jesus, is my Lord, and what I am about to share now, is not for the faint hearted! Some will call me crazy, but some people here, would benefit much from this!
I have begged every person i sinned against for forgiveness. The ones i could not find, I left on the cross of my Lord! Together with the ones I offended. we left all my sin with Jesus! The ones I still do is in my mind! I might get a hateful thought, and say something i do not want to, but even these ones are coming weaker and less frequent than before. I am truly being led by a Mighty Spirit that helps me when i am tempted. What did Jesus say why was he tempted? Heb 2:18
18For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.
And this he can do over all the sin I died off! The others we are busy with, but I know my spirit! I know I am real weak, from the laying down bad, and accepting the Good!
Now the deep part. I am sleeping, 1!st June 2009, it is 03:10 am and a dream started. In the dream my son and I was holy men, and we were sent to a house to exhort evil spirits from a twenty two yearold man. It was the first time in my life I acted as a holy man, so it was a new experience.
The dream was still going on when I woke up. My son was physically sleeping on a single bed standing next to my wifes side of our bed! I was now wide awake, but my eyes were shut tight! I felt these long breaths I take. They were three times longer than my wife's. And they were deep and effortless. I heard that my son also breathed as deep as I did. We were breathing in and out in unison! It was not air we breathed. It was "thicker" but not quite as thick as water. It was unexplainable how pleasant it was. I think it was LIFE! We were breathing Life!
Renco was in his bed, and i was in mine, but we were both still in the house, where this twenty two yearold man was healed of the Satan! In the dream all the evil spirits left the man, and a voice said from behind us...."Son, you are healed!" And the young man stood up, with peace in his soul!
Then I heard the same voice say to me, while i am in my bed, eyes shut...."Anything you ask me, I will give you." I realised i was still breathing this deep breaths, and now I am completely back in my bed. I felt my hands was burning as if I was clutching a very warm cup of soup. It burned but not painfully. Through my eyelids i realised there was a very bright light in the room. I was very at peace, and the holiness made my whole body warm and glowing with Life. The same Life both me and Renco was still breathing. I heard myself say...."Not my will, but Yours Father"...
Then I knew, He was going to take this Life with Him again. I just knew I had it for ten minutes now, but He was about to leave and take it with Him. I started to cry, and He said... "Soon, son, soon you get to keep it!" With this he left and my breathing returned to normal and the temperature of my hands came down. My son luaghed loud in his "sleep" and his breathing returned to normal. My wife woke up by the loud laughter, and again Renco laughed loud! His last deep breath produced a laughter and his first normal one as well.
My wife was also awake and my eyes was open now. I closed them and asked.... as if He was still there...Lord, when will I preach?..... I did not know i asked it loud enough that my wife could hear! And He answered..... "Sorry son, I will be doing that part, using your body, through My Sprit!"
My wife turned to me and asked, why are you talking? And renco is laughing. I said .....we were in the spiritual world and we were fighting evil spirits...... She said.... You won well, renco has a victorious laughter. And what is this "I will be doing that part?" .....I said..... never mind I am just glad you know!"
Three hours later, she brought me breakfast in bed again like she does ever since we got married... but this morning was a bit different. My son is a bad "wake up" person. he stays sleepy for at least ten minutes. This morning the moment he woke up he was wide awake and full of energy. I had peace like never before, I still have that peace. NOTHING bothers me! And my wife had that same Shine in her eyes, like the day we started our Godly marriage.
After breakfast I had to ask.... Love, do you ever regret that i started to follow Jesus?... She said.... Some days you are really so busy with Him, that we feel we might lose you!... I said... would that be bad?... She said... I guess not, it is His will and Yours, He would give us peace!...
And that is exactly what He did!!!!!!! The day i left the church to seek God, i asked Him to please give peace to my family, while i search Him. He DID!! and now i ask Him, if i am to leave soon, would He again please give peace to my family..... You type the next sentance here.....................
Abba Father, Let thou will be done in me!
Amen!!!
