Please read idk what to call it

Hello my name is Jasmine im from Pennsylvania i know the lord and love the lord he has kept me a long time. since 16 fornication was my sin (of choice) at 21 i gave my life to the Lord completely stopped and stopped my sinning for 2 years no fornication it became so easy it wasn't hard being that i made God a promise and kept it! now after two years of purification a ex i loved came back into my life i hadn't known i still love him. He asked for forgiveness of the past even though it hurt i forgave him! After telling him i was celibate he was trying to get sex! i was nearly forced and tempted but didn't do it. I kept my strength after being together 6 months he broke up with me said he never loved me he was just trying to get sex. I was soo hurt i didn't know what to do! i begged on my knees for him o stay! he made me feel loved he said "no sorry go on with your life" i was so sad i cried to God as time went by i found a way to get over it and GOD Was THAT WAY now understanding God know what i want i was waiting patiently i met a couple guys along the way but sex seemed to be ALL THEY WANT! (WHY DOES EVERYBODY WANT SEX!) I kept my purity and as time went by i met guys that were disrespectful to me because i didn't give them sex i was soo hurt hate the fact of being ignored. Rejection hurts! STILL KEPT MY PURITY! now about this time 6 months pass i started hanging with a new crowd went to a party (out of my element) met this guy he seemed nice out of ALL the guys he was the ONE i didn't say no to so i gave him my number. we start going out a month pass no sex he was nice taking to eat hanging/spending time with me and would take me in his room try to have sex i said no told him i was celibate he was consistent stayed with me through everything every time take me in his room try to seduce me 2 months go by he having problems with his mom i helped and prayed with him he was crying saying "I never met someone like you before" as time went by we started to pray together (A FAMILY THAT RAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER) He opened up to me about a problem he had a smoking addiction he wasn't living the life he was suppose to. Until one day he looked in the mirror had all black on and said what am i doing why is my life a mess why am i living this way he said the next morning ran to the nearest church! surrendered his life to God that was 3 months before he met me still struggling with the sin of sex but stopped his smoking and stopped partying. so one day my friend in my new crew begged me to go to a party i just said ok a party wont hurt and went same with him he got in contact with his old friends and went! that how we met now back to his testimony he said he go to church every Sunday i saw proof on Facebook. I saw potential in this nice guy but every now and again would still keep trying to get sex! He started to be rude to me i said why are you being a jerk he said "how you expect me to act if i cant get sex from my girl" i said "im celibate" so one night we ate food watched a movie was in his room the lights were out the only light was that was on the flashing of the t.v that was on i was laying on my stomach going to sleep he started to give me a message it felt good do i didnt stop him he rubbed my back when he would go down i would stop him he got mad and told me to move my hand he started lifting my shorts over i kept putting my hand there he kept removing my hand by this time he started kissing me i started praying silently asking God to help me because i felt feelings of the flesh arising. Next thing i know he's putting his penis in my vagina i start to move him he's telling me to relax while kissing me just telling me to let it happen and that's where my 2 years of celibacy goes out the window after wards i started crying yeah im 23 but i was upset he sat there hugging me telling me dont cry and asked me why im crying i said because i didn't want you to do it i said stop he start kissing me trying to make me feel better. then he puts a video on starts making me laugh forget about the whole thing. Although i was mad i forgave him i rekindled my relationship with God and talked to him about my walk of faith so we prayed together he had a situation where he needed me and called crying we stood together in faith he's 24 he said "i don't usually cry in-front of females this is new for me" he continued he felt he needed me and his family isn't that spiritual cant talk to them" it felt good to help him grow in faith so as time passes we spend time together would kept the sex out even though he would still be moved by emotions he kept his emotions in line he prayed for me it was awesome i needed that! Thank GOD for that i felt like i had a new spiritual partner to grow with then 3 months (which is now) after hanging around my new crowd of friends (girls) they start talking about sex and how good it is and i should do it they aren't spiritual so they don't understand i tried to ignore it but the bible says "words are spirits and they give life" JOHN 6:63 so be careful what you hear i let those words marinate and start thinking about the sex him and i had the next time i went to his house we had sex and LOTS OF IT. In church i felt guilty but i couldn't stop doing it! i couldn't wait to get to his house so i could do it. The bible says when you get rid of a spirit and allow it to come back in MATTHEW 6:44-45" It will return to the house It left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order.Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. I started to get angry with him, impatient mad he started getting angry with me/mad I just felt bad because we were praying then here we are fighting it was all the flesh taking over THE BIBLE SAYS IN GALATIANS 6:8
"For he that sow to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that sow to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." I knew the relationship was being destroyed. Due to us letting the flesh take control. I prayed rebuked the spirits that came to this clean house ans start clean i want my life back i always spend time with God i asked for the forgiveness of my sings and God to renew me again cleanse me all over form the inside out! as of me and him we haven't spoken because of all the argument issues last night i gave him blessed oil to anoint his-self and his house! I want him changed Lord knows i want the best for him as well as myself! his friend just died he's worried about his own safety its not safe in the streets anymore the only way to safety is through God. God will never let anything happen to us! We just have to let him in. I felt bad because im suppose to be the strong one and i let the flesh involved all i wanted to do is make him better here i am making him worst!. I had a long talk with God its in Gods hands i trust God. God is awesome i know better now. i know this time how to make it work the right way! Sometime bad things need to happen for us to overcome them and get ready for better things in store. Its in Gods hands now think im just glad God changed me and i didn't stray too far! i came back God is awesome!

Awesome! Do not give up!