S
My name is Stephen, I am 30 years old. I don't share my testimony a lot. So here I go.
My parents were separated by the time I was 6. I was the youngest of 4 children. I had a neighbor who decided to use me as a punching bag, he also raped my sister in front of me and tried to get me to do things with my sister. I buried that stuff for years. We moved when I was 10 and I was able to have a few normal years with my grandparents, and it was the best years of my childhood. They were the first people to show me commitment and love.
I moved back with my mom when I was 13, I was that kid who looked like he was 18 and good looking, so people followed me. I started drinking and using drugs and this went on for years. I was the kid you didn't want your kids hanging out with, a complete schmoozer, I showed only what i wanted others to see. I kept everyone at arms length. I was verbally abused by my step dad, and the only reason he didn't beat me was because thankfully I was too big.
When I was 16 I met this girl, and she became my everything, She was my god. I even gave up the drugs and alcohol for a couple years. But she too disappointed me. When I was 17 she had an abortion and I tried to talk her out of it. I became hateful and built my walls so hi that no one could get in. She stuck with me for years after that. I became something I never desired to, I beat her so far down with my words that I destroyed her spirit. My drinking and drugs became a problem again. By the time I was 18 I took 3 attempts to kill myself. But on the outside I looked like I had it all together.
When I was 22, I went to Teen Challenge, I heard about it through my dad, and my girlfriend nagged me to go. So I went, I gave my life to Christ, but I didn't realize the commitment. I didn't want to give Him everything. I wanted to hold on to my sex and pornography. The thing with riding the fence, you eventually fall off, and I fell hard.
I finally received my wish, I cut everyone out of my life. My anger and hate consumed me, I WAS THE WALKING DEAD! I would sleep with anyone who came my way, I did all the drugs and booze I wanted and I hated God. I built myself up a pretty nice criminal record and still I wanted nothing to do with Him.
BUT God is so awesome, I could push everyone out, but no matter how hard I pushed God, He pursued me. When no one could brake this prideful, arrogant man, Christ tore me apart and brought me down to nothing. That was 2 1/2 years ago, he has flipped my world upside down. He showed me forgiveness, and for that by His grace I can forgive others, I pray for the ones who abused me, people I desired to kill, I want them to know the love of Christ now. I have a peace and joy that is unreal. HE SHOWED ME LOVE, AND ONLY BECAUSE OF HIM I LOVE OTHERS. I am working for the ministry now(Life Challenge). I have a relationship with my father, who for years I hated, and I found that my earthly father loves me without judgement, and he is an awesome man of God. I help coach kids in wrestling. I have made friends who actually love me, even with my flaws. MY GOD IS AWESOME, HE LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY, HE TRULY WANTS YOU AND WANTS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO BE EASY, BUT THIS LIFE WITH HIM IS SATISFYING, A MAN WHO COULD NEVER SHOW LOVE, LOVES. JESUS SAID "IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE, BUT TAKE HEART, I HAVE OVERCOME THIS WORLD." PLEASE GIVE JESUS A CHANCE AND HE CAN CHANGE YOU. I WILL DISAPPOINT YOU, PEOPLE WILL DISAPPOINT YOU, YOUR FAMILY WILL DISAPPOINT YOU, BUT CHRIST JESUS IS NEVER A DISAPPOINTMENT. ONLY HE CAN FULFILL YOU!
My parents were separated by the time I was 6. I was the youngest of 4 children. I had a neighbor who decided to use me as a punching bag, he also raped my sister in front of me and tried to get me to do things with my sister. I buried that stuff for years. We moved when I was 10 and I was able to have a few normal years with my grandparents, and it was the best years of my childhood. They were the first people to show me commitment and love.
I moved back with my mom when I was 13, I was that kid who looked like he was 18 and good looking, so people followed me. I started drinking and using drugs and this went on for years. I was the kid you didn't want your kids hanging out with, a complete schmoozer, I showed only what i wanted others to see. I kept everyone at arms length. I was verbally abused by my step dad, and the only reason he didn't beat me was because thankfully I was too big.
When I was 16 I met this girl, and she became my everything, She was my god. I even gave up the drugs and alcohol for a couple years. But she too disappointed me. When I was 17 she had an abortion and I tried to talk her out of it. I became hateful and built my walls so hi that no one could get in. She stuck with me for years after that. I became something I never desired to, I beat her so far down with my words that I destroyed her spirit. My drinking and drugs became a problem again. By the time I was 18 I took 3 attempts to kill myself. But on the outside I looked like I had it all together.
When I was 22, I went to Teen Challenge, I heard about it through my dad, and my girlfriend nagged me to go. So I went, I gave my life to Christ, but I didn't realize the commitment. I didn't want to give Him everything. I wanted to hold on to my sex and pornography. The thing with riding the fence, you eventually fall off, and I fell hard.
I finally received my wish, I cut everyone out of my life. My anger and hate consumed me, I WAS THE WALKING DEAD! I would sleep with anyone who came my way, I did all the drugs and booze I wanted and I hated God. I built myself up a pretty nice criminal record and still I wanted nothing to do with Him.
BUT God is so awesome, I could push everyone out, but no matter how hard I pushed God, He pursued me. When no one could brake this prideful, arrogant man, Christ tore me apart and brought me down to nothing. That was 2 1/2 years ago, he has flipped my world upside down. He showed me forgiveness, and for that by His grace I can forgive others, I pray for the ones who abused me, people I desired to kill, I want them to know the love of Christ now. I have a peace and joy that is unreal. HE SHOWED ME LOVE, AND ONLY BECAUSE OF HIM I LOVE OTHERS. I am working for the ministry now(Life Challenge). I have a relationship with my father, who for years I hated, and I found that my earthly father loves me without judgement, and he is an awesome man of God. I help coach kids in wrestling. I have made friends who actually love me, even with my flaws. MY GOD IS AWESOME, HE LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY, HE TRULY WANTS YOU AND WANTS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO BE EASY, BUT THIS LIFE WITH HIM IS SATISFYING, A MAN WHO COULD NEVER SHOW LOVE, LOVES. JESUS SAID "IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE, BUT TAKE HEART, I HAVE OVERCOME THIS WORLD." PLEASE GIVE JESUS A CHANCE AND HE CAN CHANGE YOU. I WILL DISAPPOINT YOU, PEOPLE WILL DISAPPOINT YOU, YOUR FAMILY WILL DISAPPOINT YOU, BUT CHRIST JESUS IS NEVER A DISAPPOINTMENT. ONLY HE CAN FULFILL YOU!