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The best way I think I can start this is to say, all the thanks and Glory be to God. We serve an awesome God. A Mighty God who is bigger and stronger then any and all problems that may be laid at His feet.
Let me make something clear right now: I don't blame any of the bad decisions that I'm about to talk about on my parents divorce, on getting teased in school back in the day, society, or anyone else (except for satan of course, who was trying to destroy me). I blame myself and myself alone for the bad decisions that I have made in my life. And I thank God alone that he delivered me from them.
It all started when I was 13 years old. I was hanging out with my older step-brother at one of his friends house. Now my step-brother and his friend weren't exactly angels, in fact, quite the opposite. They drank and smoked pot and did other bad things all the time. I wasn't an angel either, for I stole from stores and did other bad things, but I had never done drugs or drank to that point. Well all that changed that very day. I smoked some weed with them that day and to be perfectly honest, I loved it. In fact, I loved it so much, that like a parasite, from that day forward it had ahold of my mind and body and a day never went by that I didn't think about it.
Of course at that time, I didn't have any income, so I relied solely on others to get my fix. Mainly my step-brother. But of course as this kind of thing goes, once you start hanging out with that crowd you are bound to run into others that become your "friends" who are just as hooked as you are and you do what you have to do to get money to support your habit. For example: stealing, lying to your parents, etc. And of course, when the weed was to expensive to get or if was in short supply, then there was always an alternative, like drinking. Oh yes the devil will always show you another way to destroy yourself. He is like God in the sense that he provides as well, just in the negative. See, that's the devil's wish: To be God. So he acts like God except he works on completely oppsoite terms. Which is why he does the things he does in the end times, but that's another discussion.
In my experience, drinking and doing drugs always go to together. There are exceptions to that rule, but for the most part, if a person does one, they do the other. Yeah my life was a regular party. Day after day of craving, searching, then eventually finding that which was meant to destroy me.
It only got worse when I became an adult and had my own income and was living on my own. Yeah when I moved out on my own it became party even harder time. Hanging with people even worse then when I started. Doing other drugs to satisfy my cravings when there was no marijuana around. See for me, drinking was my last resort. It was my fall back plan or plan B if you will. Although to be honest, it was probably something more like plan f. I used prescription pills, cocaine, LSD whevever they were available and when one of my "friends" provided them. I have tried crack. There was a point in my first marriage where I was doing meth for awhile. There was even a point in my life that I did what they call huffing gasoline to get high (this was before I moved out on my own). And of course through all this, I was looking at pornography and lusting after women. But marijuana was my "drug of choice". See, all addicts have a "drug of choice". They may do other drugs, but they are always looking for that one drug that they like best.
As you can imagine, all this drug usage and drinking led to failed freindships and relationships, including a failed marriage (which is another story all together). It drew me away from my parents and brother and sister. It led to job loss after job loss. It led to mvoing time and time again because of not having enough money to pay rent or moving because I was running from the law. And it of course led to jail time and unsuccessful rehab attempts. I was busted by the police atleast 3 or 4 times, which I didn't let discourage me at all. Not all the times that I got busted led to jail time because of the different laws of different states. And also because a couple of those times when I got busted I was a teenager. The warning signs were everywhere, but like a good addict, I ignored them all.
Oh but there is Hope my friends. See, this story doesn't end on a bad note. No, no. This story ends on a high note. In fact, on the Most High note, but you have to wait for it! I eventually got remarried, mind you I am still smoking and drinking at this ppint (I met my wife over the internet by the way, believe it or not). I am originally from Indiana, but in order to be with my wife, I had to move to California. So that's what I did. Let me say here that there were times that I started going to church. Even said the sinners prayer, but it never lasted long. Let me also just say here that during my life there were times when I tried to stop the smoking weed and drinking on my own, and I was "successful" for several months a few different times. This time where I moved to California was one of these times. I stopped for atleast 4 months. Everything was great. I was with my new love (who was a Christian by the way but needed to work on herself and her walk with God and we weren't married yet) and her daughter. The birds were chirping and the sun was shining and man everything was just so beautiful, until one day......I met one of her friends from her work who guess what, smoked weed. Mind you, my wife didn't smoke, but she had a few friends who did.
This is all it took to open the flood gates back up. I smoked with her friend that night and BOOM, back on the road that was intended to destroy me. Her friend was the only person I knew over here in California who smoked weed and she lived a good distance from us. But guess who was there to "save" the day for me when I didn't want to make that drive...yes my ole friend alcohol. I mean, there's a liquor store on every corner right?! And as I said earlier, when you start to hang out with the crowd who smokes weed, you eventually run into others that can get it for you. And that's what happened. Eventually found someone closer and more convenient. Ahh yes, the devil providing again!
This went on for another 4 years. Of course, my new love and I had gotten married in that time and eventually added another child to our family. This would be my first biological child. A beautiful little girl. But if you think that stopped me from smoking, you're wrong. But looking back, I think it was from that point that God really started to work on me.
I eventually got ahold of this book called Beyond Belief by Josh Hamilton (Iwas still smoking weed and drinking while I was reading the book by the way), a major league baseball player who got addicted to cocaine, drinking, and eventually crack and was suspended from baseball but eventually came back and became a great success. Great story that you should check out if you are trying to become clean. In this book he talks about how the only reason he is alive today and the only reason he is clean is because of Jesus Christ. He quotes a verse from the bible in there that really spoke to him. The verse says "Resist the devil and he will flee from you".
Anyway, I finished the book (cried several times through the book because of how I saw myelf in him) and then one night I was flipping through the TV stations while laying in bed. Glory be to God, I ran across TBN and on TBN was Joel Osteen. I watched and listened. It seemed as if he was speaking directly to me at times. He spoke of addiction and was looking directly in the camera while he was speaking about addiction. I don't remember exactly what he said, but all I know is that God was speaking to my heart through him.
It was a few days later that I rededicated my life to God and made Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. I went to bed one night an addict that couldn't control the cravings and woke up the next day not caring if I ever saw weed or alcohol or pornography again. Just like that, POOF, it was gone. Completely delivered from over 15 YEARS of addiction to marijuana and alcohol and a lustful heart in the name of and through the name of Jesus Christ. Did I mention that I also smoked cigarettes for longer than I smoked weed and drank. Yeah, it was a few days later that I smoked the last cigarette in my pack at night and told God that I wouldn't ever buy another pack of cigarettes. And POOF, a few days later, it was like I never smoked cigarettes at all. Didn't have a craving anymore for them either. If you haven't said Amen yet, do it now! Glory be to God. Forgiven and restored and blessed all in a mtter of days. Free from all the vices that were intended to destroy me. God put satan under his foot and CRUSHED the head of that snake in my life!! An impossible scenario in my mind just a few days earlier. All changed what seemed like over night! To God ALL the Glory. Thank you Jesus. As Jesse Duplantis might say "Somebody shout, somebody!"
Thaks for reading this. Hope it helps someone and if I know God like I think I do, I'm sure it was meant for someone who reads it. And I can't really go without saying that my wife is such a strong and loving and forgiving woman for sticking with me through all this and now because of that, my family is still together and we live to glorify God. So I thank God for her. He obviously put her in my life so that it would all eventually come to the end that it has.
Let me make something clear right now: I don't blame any of the bad decisions that I'm about to talk about on my parents divorce, on getting teased in school back in the day, society, or anyone else (except for satan of course, who was trying to destroy me). I blame myself and myself alone for the bad decisions that I have made in my life. And I thank God alone that he delivered me from them.
It all started when I was 13 years old. I was hanging out with my older step-brother at one of his friends house. Now my step-brother and his friend weren't exactly angels, in fact, quite the opposite. They drank and smoked pot and did other bad things all the time. I wasn't an angel either, for I stole from stores and did other bad things, but I had never done drugs or drank to that point. Well all that changed that very day. I smoked some weed with them that day and to be perfectly honest, I loved it. In fact, I loved it so much, that like a parasite, from that day forward it had ahold of my mind and body and a day never went by that I didn't think about it.
Of course at that time, I didn't have any income, so I relied solely on others to get my fix. Mainly my step-brother. But of course as this kind of thing goes, once you start hanging out with that crowd you are bound to run into others that become your "friends" who are just as hooked as you are and you do what you have to do to get money to support your habit. For example: stealing, lying to your parents, etc. And of course, when the weed was to expensive to get or if was in short supply, then there was always an alternative, like drinking. Oh yes the devil will always show you another way to destroy yourself. He is like God in the sense that he provides as well, just in the negative. See, that's the devil's wish: To be God. So he acts like God except he works on completely oppsoite terms. Which is why he does the things he does in the end times, but that's another discussion.
In my experience, drinking and doing drugs always go to together. There are exceptions to that rule, but for the most part, if a person does one, they do the other. Yeah my life was a regular party. Day after day of craving, searching, then eventually finding that which was meant to destroy me.
It only got worse when I became an adult and had my own income and was living on my own. Yeah when I moved out on my own it became party even harder time. Hanging with people even worse then when I started. Doing other drugs to satisfy my cravings when there was no marijuana around. See for me, drinking was my last resort. It was my fall back plan or plan B if you will. Although to be honest, it was probably something more like plan f. I used prescription pills, cocaine, LSD whevever they were available and when one of my "friends" provided them. I have tried crack. There was a point in my first marriage where I was doing meth for awhile. There was even a point in my life that I did what they call huffing gasoline to get high (this was before I moved out on my own). And of course through all this, I was looking at pornography and lusting after women. But marijuana was my "drug of choice". See, all addicts have a "drug of choice". They may do other drugs, but they are always looking for that one drug that they like best.
As you can imagine, all this drug usage and drinking led to failed freindships and relationships, including a failed marriage (which is another story all together). It drew me away from my parents and brother and sister. It led to job loss after job loss. It led to mvoing time and time again because of not having enough money to pay rent or moving because I was running from the law. And it of course led to jail time and unsuccessful rehab attempts. I was busted by the police atleast 3 or 4 times, which I didn't let discourage me at all. Not all the times that I got busted led to jail time because of the different laws of different states. And also because a couple of those times when I got busted I was a teenager. The warning signs were everywhere, but like a good addict, I ignored them all.
Oh but there is Hope my friends. See, this story doesn't end on a bad note. No, no. This story ends on a high note. In fact, on the Most High note, but you have to wait for it! I eventually got remarried, mind you I am still smoking and drinking at this ppint (I met my wife over the internet by the way, believe it or not). I am originally from Indiana, but in order to be with my wife, I had to move to California. So that's what I did. Let me say here that there were times that I started going to church. Even said the sinners prayer, but it never lasted long. Let me also just say here that during my life there were times when I tried to stop the smoking weed and drinking on my own, and I was "successful" for several months a few different times. This time where I moved to California was one of these times. I stopped for atleast 4 months. Everything was great. I was with my new love (who was a Christian by the way but needed to work on herself and her walk with God and we weren't married yet) and her daughter. The birds were chirping and the sun was shining and man everything was just so beautiful, until one day......I met one of her friends from her work who guess what, smoked weed. Mind you, my wife didn't smoke, but she had a few friends who did.
This is all it took to open the flood gates back up. I smoked with her friend that night and BOOM, back on the road that was intended to destroy me. Her friend was the only person I knew over here in California who smoked weed and she lived a good distance from us. But guess who was there to "save" the day for me when I didn't want to make that drive...yes my ole friend alcohol. I mean, there's a liquor store on every corner right?! And as I said earlier, when you start to hang out with the crowd who smokes weed, you eventually run into others that can get it for you. And that's what happened. Eventually found someone closer and more convenient. Ahh yes, the devil providing again!
This went on for another 4 years. Of course, my new love and I had gotten married in that time and eventually added another child to our family. This would be my first biological child. A beautiful little girl. But if you think that stopped me from smoking, you're wrong. But looking back, I think it was from that point that God really started to work on me.
I eventually got ahold of this book called Beyond Belief by Josh Hamilton (Iwas still smoking weed and drinking while I was reading the book by the way), a major league baseball player who got addicted to cocaine, drinking, and eventually crack and was suspended from baseball but eventually came back and became a great success. Great story that you should check out if you are trying to become clean. In this book he talks about how the only reason he is alive today and the only reason he is clean is because of Jesus Christ. He quotes a verse from the bible in there that really spoke to him. The verse says "Resist the devil and he will flee from you".
Anyway, I finished the book (cried several times through the book because of how I saw myelf in him) and then one night I was flipping through the TV stations while laying in bed. Glory be to God, I ran across TBN and on TBN was Joel Osteen. I watched and listened. It seemed as if he was speaking directly to me at times. He spoke of addiction and was looking directly in the camera while he was speaking about addiction. I don't remember exactly what he said, but all I know is that God was speaking to my heart through him.
It was a few days later that I rededicated my life to God and made Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. I went to bed one night an addict that couldn't control the cravings and woke up the next day not caring if I ever saw weed or alcohol or pornography again. Just like that, POOF, it was gone. Completely delivered from over 15 YEARS of addiction to marijuana and alcohol and a lustful heart in the name of and through the name of Jesus Christ. Did I mention that I also smoked cigarettes for longer than I smoked weed and drank. Yeah, it was a few days later that I smoked the last cigarette in my pack at night and told God that I wouldn't ever buy another pack of cigarettes. And POOF, a few days later, it was like I never smoked cigarettes at all. Didn't have a craving anymore for them either. If you haven't said Amen yet, do it now! Glory be to God. Forgiven and restored and blessed all in a mtter of days. Free from all the vices that were intended to destroy me. God put satan under his foot and CRUSHED the head of that snake in my life!! An impossible scenario in my mind just a few days earlier. All changed what seemed like over night! To God ALL the Glory. Thank you Jesus. As Jesse Duplantis might say "Somebody shout, somebody!"
Thaks for reading this. Hope it helps someone and if I know God like I think I do, I'm sure it was meant for someone who reads it. And I can't really go without saying that my wife is such a strong and loving and forgiving woman for sticking with me through all this and now because of that, my family is still together and we live to glorify God. So I thank God for her. He obviously put her in my life so that it would all eventually come to the end that it has.
