I really get what you are saying, it can be tough and then all the friends have an opinion. The best advice I can give you is to just sit and talk to the Lord. He really does know your heart, after all He made it. He knows how tough it is for you, really He does. He is such a gentleman He would never force himself on you, and will sit there silently waiting for you to start the conversation.
Jesus is such a private and personal saviour, and when we start a friendhsip with someone how do we go about doing that? It always starts with conversation, so start there, and just like with your friends when the friendship depens and you share more stuff, then it creates a desire in you to read His word, as He wants to share things with you to, and this is the way He does it.
You sound like a person who is always real, so just get real with God, no pretence needed, be yourself, as He loves you just by being yourself.
Then maybe you will want to join a youth group just take it one step at a time, I know you will be successful, because our Heavenly Father has never made you this way.
Hope this help
God Bless