A new Grandbaby in the future, but my sons not married

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LGH

Guest
#1
#1
I'm struggling with the news my son, who is 33, gave me today that he and his girlfriend are having a baby. They plan on living together and getting married, later. I am unhappy about that but so excited about being a grandmother, this is my first grandchild. I know I need to lay this all at the cross, I have been praying for God to move in my son's life in a big way, he has walked away from his faith since college. But how do I have joy over this new baby coming in October when they are not married?
 
K

kenexus

Guest
#2
#2
We will pray for you. I believe that God will give you direction and guidance in this situation.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#3
#3
LGH said:
I'm struggling with the news my son, who is 33, gave me today that he and his girlfriend are having a baby. They plan on living together and getting married, later. I am unhappy about that but so excited about being a grandmother, this is my first grandchild. I know I need to lay this all at the cross, I have been praying for God to move in my son's life in a big way, he has walked away from his faith since college. But how do I have joy over this new baby coming in October when they are not married?
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Hi LGH and welcome to CC. Of course you're excited and I'm excited for you! Do you know why? Because the first thing you said is "....this is my first grandchild." You did NOT refer to this sweet child as illegitimate or bastard or talk of termination, you spoke to that which was FAMILY. So, what I'm saying to you is that you have already laid this issue of whether your son and his partner are married or not at the cross! You have already accepted that your son is married to this woman and that this is child is your grand child and your family is your family! This woman IS now your family as much as your son and your new grand child and if you doubted that, it would not have fallen off your hands in words so freely.

Praise of loving God of Israel that you understand your family! The ONLY hurdle they face now is getting the paperwork done through the State because the true and loving MARRIAGE has already taken place, believe me. Your son's, and maybe his wife's too, lack of faith have challenged them to not commit to each other and to God in their own eyes, but this marriage has already taken place BEFORE God no matter their lack of faith.

You truly warmed my heart with your sudden, complete, and devoted confession of love and acceptance when you proclaimed this newly conceived child as yours, your family; your grandchild! This, in many ways, is what Christ spoke of when He said "...your faith has healed you." So now, make this acceptance of your new family known to your son and his wife and expect God to change their hearts too!
 
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Kyra

Guest
#4
#4
This baby is a blessing!! There is nothing you can do about this so be excited and be happy and be supportive and God will take care of the rest. I have a 6 month old granddaughter and my son and her mommy are getting married August 1st. It has been a blessing! It will all work out!
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#5
#5
Praise of loving God of Israel that you understand your family! The ONLY hurdle they face now is getting the paperwork done through the State because the true and loving MARRIAGE has already taken place, believe me. Your son's, and maybe his wife's too, lack of faith have challenged them to not commit to each other and to God in their own eyes, but this marriage has already taken place BEFORE God no matter their lack of faith.

WHAT??
Do not understand how one's behaviour which is totally against His teaching, so therefore against God? could lead to a blessing? Please explain....

 
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savedandIknowit

Senior Member
#6
Sep 26, 2013
138
0
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#6
Blessings on this new Granbaby, LGH love this baby and new family anyway, Let Gods love through you come out more than unrighteous judgement. Lift them up to the Lord. I hold dear the standard of marraige first before sex and babies, I had a baby out of wedlock 20 years ago, I was a single mother from the time my son was conceived, its man that truly judges but your Son and his girlfriend are together with plans, pray for their wedding, more importantly for the girls salvation if she isnt truly saved, start to pray over this childs life, this child will be blessed to have you, a praying grandmother in his or her life.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#7
Jan 24, 2011
11,782
2,951
113
#7
I understand your pain and struggle. What a wonderful thing to be a grandmother. My oldest granddaughter is 2, with my 4th grandchild on the way later in the year. My children did live together before marriage, but all got married before they decided to have children, so there was no problems, with last names, paternity etc.

If you have talked to them about this before, they are probably not going to listen to you now, especially at age 33. I think prayer, both here and in your church is about all that will change this situation.

I would suggest you try once to say it would be "lovely" if they got married before the baby was born, just for the ease of paperwork, etc. I wouldn't moralize, because they would not be willing to listen, and might cut you off. So praying for you, and enjoy the baby. He is still your grandchild, even if the parents are living in sin. Hmm.... You don't hear that much any more, but that is what it is.

All this talk about once a couple has sex they are married in God's eyes is pure and utter poppycock!
 
C

CRC

Guest
#8
#8
You have so much to give and offer. In a world of so much chaos, a grandparent can serve as a true oasis. Grandparents frequently play a key role in passing on a family’s religious heritage. In many families, grandparents serve as trusted mentors. .A loving grandparent can be especially important to a child who lacks proper nurturing at home. “My grandmother was the most important person in my early childhood,” writes Selma Wassermann. “It was my grandmother who stepped in and filled my world with nurturing. She had a lap bigger than Miami Beach, and when she took me into it, I knew I was safe. . . . It was from my grandmother that I learned the most important things about myself—that I was loved and therefore lovable.”—The Long Distance Grandmother.
 
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brokenclay

Guest
#9
#9
Same here, tonight. I'm a Granddad. :)
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#10
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#10
LGH said:
I'm struggling with the news my son, who is 33, gave me today that he and his girlfriend are having a baby. They plan on living together and getting married, later. I am unhappy about that but so excited about being a grandmother, this is my first grandchild. I know I need to lay this all at the cross, I have been praying for God to move in my son's life in a big way, he has walked away from his faith since college. But how do I have joy over this new baby coming in October when they are not married?
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Meh if your grandson live with the mother of his child and taking care of your grandbaby he is all ready married to his woman. Heh I think thou just worry for your grandson. Perhaps becaue he not gone through Western wedding ceremony you are a lil anxious. Maybe get to know your daughter in law his wife better and just you know gently get them to go through wth the more formal pomp and ceremony of western wedding to closer tie their bonds as a husband and wife, to you, to their child (grandbaby!), and God.

From your account they seem all right to me. Not to sound like bribing them into persuading to marry, but seeing as they all ready basically married maybe they just need encouragement to go through with the more formal ceremony associated with marriage in the West. An interesting thing is if you all ready committed to eachother for life, getting legally married in America in the Christian wedding ceremony (technically they're married but if you have a good church you can help them find to marry in for the proper ceremony) and maintaining your marriage in a biblical fashion is actually very beneficial, get lots of financial perks and all that making life much easier to raise grandbaby and eachother lol and keep everyone happy in a financial and cultural way. Not a gurantee of success totally of course, but the various qualitifications for US tax breaks and benefits, the ceremony part of a wedding does smoothe things out. Most young people just don't realize this even if they are technically married and living with eachother just are unsure on the way to do wedding ceremony lol.

So that be my input and either way hope the best for you, your son and daughter in law, and grandbaby
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#11
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#11
brokenclay said:
Same here, tonight. I'm a Granddad. :)
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Two grandbabies born in the space of one thread! Epic CC Family Forum Topic indeed this has become as I read through it! Good hope and blessing to you and your grandbaby and babies too lol. This a pretty good and hopeful thread for Family Forum change of pace indeed!
 
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tenderhearted

Guest
#12
#12
Whether they are married or not, this baby is a blessing from God. You have been praying for your son to come back to the faith. Your part is to trust and believe that God is working in you son's heart. God is faithful. Your son and his girlfriend need a lot of support right now. There are plenty of people out there who will cast judgement on them; and what they need is for someone to display God's unconditional love to them. You don't have to agree with everything that they do, but you must love them. Actions speak louder than words. By you not judging them and choosing to love them, you will win them over to Christ. Congratulations on being a grandma! This is exciting and a cause for celebration.
 
Agricola

Agricola

Senior Member
#13
Dec 10, 2012
2,638
88
48
#13
Whats done is done, its nothing to do with you, so just get on being a loving parent and grandmother.
 
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BeanieD

Guest
#14
#14
Just keep in mind that it is not the baby's fault it is here, It is part of you, and no matter what happens it is your grandchild. Welcom it, bless it and LOVE it.

God bless
 
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