A not so hypothetical situation

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J

Jordache

Guest
#1
#1
Person A - sensitive, gentle, merciful, borders on codependent and knows his/her weakness of being overly sensitive
Person B - not sensitive by nature though desires to be, makes harsh sarcastic jokes, speaks his/her mind and doesn't intend for the harshness to be anything more than amamusing

So how does person A explain to person B what is an appropriate joke. This far I've come up with sarcasm pointed at someone's identity or greatest weakness is never appropriate. Sort of like joking with an anorexic girl that she's fat.
 
RickShafer

RickShafer

Banned
#2
Sep 8, 2012
4,367
58
0
#2
They can't.....it would blast right through the sensitive one.
Called the fallen nature.
The one who is sensitive will shun the other.
If they ever tried to get together it would end in the sarcastic(alive) one being hamstrung.
God pairs in equal amounts.
They say opposites attract, this may be true in a superficial sense but not in a lasting way.
People who are joined together are by nature alike.
That's one of the reasons God said to "marry after your own kind".
This kind is spiritual more than physical.
How do I know? - "Be not unequally yoked."
 
T

Tandemtruths

Guest
#3
#3
This set up is bound to have pains associated with it. At the same time that the sensitive and passive ones are incomplete, the overt and assertive ones are also incomplete. The process of understanding is long and arduous for both, but it is kept together in the best way possible; agape love. Person A should not assume they know how Person B thinks. I can also guarantee person B has a very difficult time figuring out the process in which person A thinks. If they are both on equal footing with God, then they are equally yoked. I don't think it should be phrased 'opposites attract'. It takes far too much effort, but that's actually a good thing as it's a mutual effort. There is no love in giving up for the wrong reasons. There has to be a clear communication between them as they do think so differently. The assertive one has a hard time because they don't want to hurt the other one's feelings, and the passive one is well, passive. Both have to get over that, hence the effort. When they do though, they become like pieces of a Megazord. Each not all that great on their own, but when they play to each other's strengths as they cover the weaknesses, they can take down a giant mole rat monster. I've met far too many golden couples that are polar opposites in the way they express themselves and think, to find it inherently wrong. However, as a side effect of being around each other, and going through the trials they did, they seem to really know each other. I compare it to the body of Christ. We all have different roles, but we are of the same body, and we would be incomplete without the other pieces. How useful would an entity made completely out of left feet be?

To be more succinct, both have to suck it up in this situation. Person B has to be less sarcastic and more expressive, and person A less opinionated and more understanding. The thing is, both have to put in the effort in consideration of the other. That is the yoke.
 
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RickShafer

RickShafer

Banned
#4
Sep 8, 2012
4,367
58
0
#4
Listen......the sarcastic one is probably right for the sensitive one.
They even each other out.
Plus each will give to the other in their love.
So they will find a mutual resting place.
- It is amazing what God can do.....if people will just let Him.
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#5
#5
But no one actually answered the question. Certainly there are jokes to be "tolerated" by the sensitive one, and sensitivity needed to be gained by the sarcastic one... But there are places you just don't go. So how do you explain to a person who has no filter on their joking about what is appropriate in different situations
 
R

Roots

Guest
#6
#6
What's the relationship between Person A and Person B?

Jordache said:
sarcasm pointed at someone's identity or greatest weakness is never appropriate. Sort of like joking with an anorexic girl that she's fat.
Click to expand...
In answer to your question... I think your advice on what constitutes as an inappropriate joke is fair and accurate. Person B may just need some help from Person A (and other friends potentially?) to recognize when he/she has crossed that line. You may want to make a comparison to bullying too as Person B may be a bit of a bully without realizing it. Bullying is typically picking on or harassment in a relationship with a power-imbalance, and/or repeated picking on/harassment... May be helpful to think in those terms also...

I think it's a great thing that Person B has the desire to be more sensitive. That will work well in this situation. I think Person B needs to practice being empathetic. He/she may lack some of these skills naturally but they can be developed. He/she needs to practice predicting how his/her joke will be perceived. I think it could also be really helpful for Person B to practice his/her delivery with these comments and/or jokes. As lame as it sounds maybe ACTUALLY practice how you could say a harsh comment in a not-so-harsh way. When someone gets hurt by a comment spend time mulling over why that was hurtful. Talk about it when you see it happen on TV, between other friends, etc.

It's going to require a balance of Person A being less sensitive/dependent and Person B being more sensitive. It's just going to take some communication and teamwork but it sounds like both sides are willing and wanting to do that!
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#7
#7
It be a romantic relationship
 
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